Confidence At Our Death?

[Sarah147]

Hello,

I tend to worry that at my death/dying, there will be an issue of not having lived my life as well God wanted me to, or some lukewarmness, or some forgotten or didn't recognize mortal sin from the past, etc. (Something condemning.) I have had scrupulousity issues in the past and I guess my conscience and spiritual life are still forming since I've only been a convert for so many years. But, I don't yet see how we can be calm and confident at our death? Can you explain? Also, how can I get rid of the worry about all of this and have a peaceful death eons from now?


God bless you.

[CatherineM]

When I was 10 years old, my father had a bad heart attack and almost died. Years later when discussing it with me, he said that when you feel your life slipping away from you, you are alone. You may be surrounded by people in an ER or OR, but it is only you doing the dying. He said that he didn't want to focus on the things in his life he regretted doing, or not doing, he wanted to only think about my mom and us kids, and his grandkids. He died when I was in college, and I know he got his dying wish because his last words to me were that he loved me. Several years after that, it was my turn to feel my life slipping away. I started a prayer, and couldn't remember how it ended, so I just kept repeating the first part over and over again. Then I heard my father's voice finish the prayer for me.

When we are young, small things seem so much more important than they do when we are looking back half a century later. If you believe in God, and in an eternal soul, and in Christ's mercy, then you can face death confidently. St. Paul persecuted the Early Church, St. Peter denied Christ, St. Augustine would make Charlie Sheen seem like a choir boy, but yet Christ forgave them and welcomed them home. God gave us a wonderful gift of our lives. He wouldn't want us to spend our lives in fear and trepidation. Regularly partake of the sacraments, do the best you can, and Be Not Afraid.