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Things I Don't Recommend Attempting


MissScripture

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The secret service was nice enough to let me go with a warning to not visit our national capital again.

Life has been keeping me pretty busy lately

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Leaving for the weekend that your city is predicted to have a record rainfall during. Not recommended at all

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missionseeker

[quote name='Selah' timestamp='1303507238' post='2231217']
3. When your boss is pregnant, don't call her a heifer.
[/quote]


Yes, then the correct term would be "cow"

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Mary Magdalene

Writing a philosophy essay the day it's due
or writing a philosophy and theology paper 3 hours before you have to be at the airport to catch a plane to the US = EPIC FAIL

Edited by Mary Magdalene
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Things I learned NOT to say to my wife when she is pregnant.

"I finished the Oreos"
"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that [insert beautiful movie actress' name here] had a baby!"
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? That is the weekend of the Masters"
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Get me some ice cream while you are at it."
"Got milk?"...this especially after childbirth when she is in full breastfeeding swing

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[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1303845730' post='2233505']
Never call your mother "woman" even if Jesus did it....
[/quote]

or your wife

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standing in the middle of an empty flat field, in the midst of a thunderstorm and torrential downpour. With a metal umbrella shielding you from the rain.

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[quote name='knightec' timestamp='1303852164' post='2233587']
give your teenage daughter your credit card & say "have fun at the mall"
[/quote]


... or "have a good trip"

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