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Inappropriate Attraction ... To Men In Cassocks


BramletAbercrombie

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HisChildForever

[quote name='BramletAbercrombie' timestamp='1303709396' post='2232288']
I appreciate them. I keep hoping that by talking about them, the ridiculousness of the entire situation will end and the thoughts will stop. I mean, seriously, this is beyond stupid. Here's hoping I can get these thoughts out of my head.
[/quote]

It's also possible that talking about it will fuel the thoughts. For example, in one of your posts you said you would be referring to this priest as "Father Hawtie". I mean, you're trying to get rid of this "crush" but you call him that? It would probably be easier to accept that you find this priest attractive and then gracefully move on. Dwelling on it won't help.

Edited by HisChildForever
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[quote name='BramletAbercrombie' timestamp='1303423231' post='2230955']
Okay, in all seriousness, this is one of those problems that you think, is it just me? Do I have to go to confession for this? I've recently started going to a very traditional FSSP mass here in my hometown. The parish is very devout and the priests are fabulous in the confessional and at the pulpit with their homiles. I learn more in one of their weekday mass homilies than I do at a month of masses at my local Cathedral (my home parish).

Only one small problem. There's two priests. And the younger one? Hawt. No, seriously, he's absolutely adorable, with his little collar and his little waist sash thingy. And when he assists in his white surplice over his black cassock? His boyish charm is absolutely distracting.

Now, I'm a very happily married woman (no kids). I'm also aware that there is most probably some transferrence going on with the joy that going to church brings me, the joy that receiving the eucharist brings me, and the joy that I am feeling when I am around this priest. However, I'm getting past the fleeting thoughts phase of what only can be described as a Tiger-Beat styled crush ("Did you read that he graduated as a History major in 1992? And he loves the color purple just like Justin Bieber!")

Heck, if any of you are old enough to catch the Tiger Beat reference, you should know that this stupid, I don't know, crush or obtrusive thought or whatever you want to call it, is totally inappropriate for a dignified married lady of my age. But it's driving me crazy! It's not like I have any desire to act on it or anything, but the fact that these though bubbles keep popping in my head are amazingly distracting and infuriating and, quite honestly, embarrasing.

So are there any other ladies that find themselves attracted to men in cassocks? Do you kind of want to thump yourselves in the head with a missal to make it stop? Do you go to confession? (While I am good at stopping the "Oh, that's just wrong" thoughts, the casual thoughts tend to get nursed a bit more than they should). Is this any worse than having a crush on, say, a TV star or the new guy at work? Do I just let it play itself out in my head until time naturally makes it fade away?
[/quote]
How dare you mention the Traditional Latin Mass and Justin Bieber in the same post!

I hope you have confessed that mortal sin before fulfilling your Easter Obligation.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='HisChildForever' timestamp='1303746349' post='2232458']
It's also possible that talking about it will fuel the thoughts. For example, in one of your posts you said you would be referring to this priest as "Father Hawtie". I mean, you're trying to get rid of this "crush" but you call him that? It would probably be easier to accept that you find this priest attractive and then gracefully move on. Dwelling on it won't help.
[/quote]

Excellent point. I missed that one, but you picked up on it (not surprising). :joecool:

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[quote name='HisChildForever' timestamp='1303746349' post='2232458']
It's also possible that talking about it will fuel the thoughts. For example, in one of your posts you said you would be referring to this priest as "Father Hawtie". I mean, you're trying to get rid of this "crush" but you call him that? It would probably be easier to accept that you find this priest attractive and then gracefully move on. Dwelling on it won't help.
[/quote]
true.

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AudreyGrace

[quote name='Cam42' timestamp='1303586741' post='2231469']
On the otherhand, that sure is a great show of me reppin' the Church and being a participatory Catholic (activa and actuosa), isn't it?
[/quote]

:o
please refrain from all uses of photography within the Church!!
I hope this wasn't Mass!!!!!
This must have been very distracting...
:nono:

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franciscanheart

[quote name='Cam42' timestamp='1303500476' post='2231181']
Ummmm...yeah, not so much....

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/1-3-2011081.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/EtIncarnatusEst.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/IMG_4770.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/IMG_4701.jpg[/IMG]
[/quote]
wait just one second. before we go any further, i must address this elephant.

i was just looking through and noticed
:o
NONE OF THOSE WOMEN ARE WEARING VEILS
what kind of SSPXer are you?
:banned:

:P

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just noticed the incenser....if there's one thing that bugs me, it's the use of a bowl for incense instead of a thurible (? is that right?).

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Piccoli Fiori JMJ

+JMJ

I know HCF mentioned this, but I would refrain from giving this priest [i]any [/i]sort of nickname that is related to his attractiveness. Just by thinking/reading/writing about it will immediately remind you of the reason you gave it in the first place, which is what you are trying to avoid. It is difficult struggling against temptation, but I think this could be a helpful little step. Also, nicknames like this are inappropriate to give to our clergy and robs them of their dignity as man, and as men of God. I will pray for your perseverance in your battles against the temptations before you. Your courageousness in seeking help speaks volumes and I pray God will sustain you in battle. St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!

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Nihil Obstat

[quote name='Piccoli Fiori JMJ' timestamp='1303776277' post='2232964']
+JMJ

I know HCF mentioned this, but I would refrain from giving this priest [i]any [/i]sort of nickname that is related to his attractiveness. Just by thinking/reading/writing about it will immediately remind you of the reason you gave it in the first place, which is what you are trying to avoid. It is difficult struggling against temptation, but I think this could be a helpful little step. Also, nicknames like this are inappropriate to give to our clergy and robs them of their dignity as man, and as men of God. I will pray for your perseverance in your battles against the temptations before you. Your courageousness in seeking help speaks volumes and I pray God will sustain you in battle. St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!
[/quote]
Just to play advocatus diaboli, it might be argued that by using nicknames, she's objectifying and ridiculing the crush rather than the person, since she doesn't actually know this man as a person.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

I doubt if I'd have the problem of the OP. Men who voluntarily wear lace just don't do it for me.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with lace in vestments. In fact, it may be a good thing because, at least for me, the lace would prevent any impure thoughts before they happened. Simply my personal taste. :joecool:

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1303776418' post='2232970']
Just to play advocatus diaboli, it might be argued that by using nicknames, she's objectifying and ridiculing the crush rather than the person, since she doesn't actually know this man as a person.
[/quote]

I'd agree if the nicknames didn't emphasize the priest's appearance (like "hottie") and so remind her her of it. But, if the nicknames were things like "humble homilist," that would be different.

Edited by IgnatiusofLoyola
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Piccoli Fiori JMJ

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1303776418' post='2232970']
Just to play advocatus diaboli, it might be argued that by using nicknames, she's objectifying and ridiculing the crush rather than the person, since she doesn't actually know this man as a person.
[/quote]
How does one objectify a crush?
However in this case, the nickname can serve as a reminder of the temptation she is trying to avoid. I have issues with nicknames for priests that deal with one's "hawtness."
[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1303777091' post='2232989']
I'd agree if the nicknames didn't emphasize the priest's appearance (like "hottie") and so remind her her of it. But, if the nicknames were things like "humble homilist," that would be different.
[/quote]
Exactly. Thanks for the additional clarification :)

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[quote name='Piccoli Fiori JMJ' timestamp='1303778277' post='2233014']
How does one objectify a crush?
However in this case, the nickname can serve as a reminder of the temptation she is trying to avoid. I have issues with nicknames for priests that deal with one's "hawtness."
[/quote]
agreed.

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