BramletAbercrombie Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Okay, in all seriousness, this is one of those problems that you think, is it just me? Do I have to go to confession for this? I've recently started going to a very traditional FSSP mass here in my hometown. The parish is very devout and the priests are fabulous in the confessional and at the pulpit with their homiles. I learn more in one of their weekday mass homilies than I do at a month of masses at my local Cathedral (my home parish). Only one small problem. There's two priests. And the younger one? Hawt. No, seriously, he's absolutely adorable, with his little collar and his little waist sash thingy. And when he assists in his white surplice over his black cassock? His boyish charm is absolutely distracting. Now, I'm a very happily married woman (no kids). I'm also aware that there is most probably some transferrence going on with the joy that going to church brings me, the joy that receiving the eucharist brings me, and the joy that I am feeling when I am around this priest. However, I'm getting past the fleeting thoughts phase of what only can be described as a Tiger-Beat styled crush ("Did you read that he graduated as a History major in 1992? And he loves the color purple just like Justin Bieber!") Heck, if any of you are old enough to catch the Tiger Beat reference, you should know that this stupid, I don't know, crush or obtrusive thought or whatever you want to call it, is totally inappropriate for a dignified married lady of my age. But it's driving me crazy! It's not like I have any desire to act on it or anything, but the fact that these though bubbles keep popping in my head are amazingly distracting and infuriating and, quite honestly, embarrasing. So are there any other ladies that find themselves attracted to men in cassocks? Do you kind of want to thump yourselves in the head with a missal to make it stop? Do you go to confession? (While I am good at stopping the "Oh, that's just wrong" thoughts, the casual thoughts tend to get nursed a bit more than they should). Is this any worse than having a crush on, say, a TV star or the new guy at work? Do I just let it play itself out in my head until time naturally makes it fade away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Well, I've always been attracted to men in uniform. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I once received great advise from a priest about looking at hawt ladies. He told me that there is nothing wrong with appreciating their beauty. After all, God created them to be beautiful. But, he also told me in addition to appreciating their beauty, I should imagine myself making the sign of the cross over them, like how a priest would give a blessing. This helps me appreciate their beauty for what it is, and keeps me from moving on to more impure thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam42 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 [quote name='BramletAbercrombie' timestamp='1303423231' post='2230955'] Okay, in all seriousness, this is one of those problems that you think, is it just me? Do I have to go to confession for this? I've recently started going to a very traditional FSSP mass here in my hometown. The parish is very devout and the priests are fabulous in the confessional and at the pulpit with their homiles. I learn more in one of their weekday mass homilies than I do at a month of masses at my local Cathedral (my home parish). Only one small problem. There's two priests. And the younger one? Hawt. No, seriously, he's absolutely adorable, with his little collar and his little waist sash thingy. And when he assists in his white surplice over his black cassock? His boyish charm is absolutely distracting. Now, I'm a very happily married woman (no kids). I'm also aware that there is most probably some transferrence going on with the joy that going to church brings me, the joy that receiving the eucharist brings me, and the joy that I am feeling when I am around this priest. However, I'm getting past the fleeting thoughts phase of what only can be described as a Tiger-Beat styled crush ("Did you read that he graduated as a History major in 1992? And he loves the color purple just like Justin Bieber!") Heck, if any of you are old enough to catch the Tiger Beat reference, you should know that this stupid, I don't know, crush or obtrusive thought or whatever you want to call it, is totally inappropriate for a dignified married lady of my age. But it's driving me crazy! It's not like I have any desire to act on it or anything, but the fact that these though bubbles keep popping in my head are amazingly distracting and infuriating and, quite honestly, embarrasing. So are there any other ladies that find themselves attracted to men in cassocks? Do you kind of want to thump yourselves in the head with a missal to make it stop? Do you go to confession? (While I am good at stopping the "Oh, that's just wrong" thoughts, the casual thoughts tend to get nursed a bit more than they should). Is this any worse than having a crush on, say, a TV star or the new guy at work? Do I just let it play itself out in my head until time naturally makes it fade away? [/quote] There is no sin. If you have not acted upon the thought, then you have not sinned. If you have acted upon it, then you have to confess it. As for your thoughts, they are your own. Don't worry about it. This coming from a former seminarian who still wears a cassock and surplice all the time as a Master of Ceremonies... [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/12252010645.jpg[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides' Jack Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 You seem to imply that thoughts cannot be sinful, but I'm sure that's not what you meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Unintentional thoughts aren't sinful. Encouraging those thoughts, willingly continuing those thoughts, or acting on them, is when the sin begins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam42 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 [quote name='fides' Jack' timestamp='1303427938' post='2230997'] You seem to imply that thoughts cannot be sinful, but I'm sure that's not what you meant. [/quote] That's exactly what I meant. But it is a very specific thing.... The one that is brought out often is the passage about committing adultery in your heart. Sinning is an action. It requires an action. If you don't ACT on the thought, even in your thoughts, then it is not a sin. That is what I meant. It is also what I said. Action on the thought doesn't necessarily mean that one corporeally acts upon it, but rather he may take it to heart and it is a sin. But as long as one does not ACT upon the thought, there is no sin. Sin cannot exist without an immoral action it stands to reason that one cannot sin unless he does something that is morally evil. [quote]Sin is nothing else than a morally bad act (St. Thomas, "De malo", 7:3), an act not in accord with reason informed by the Divine law. [...] In every sinful act two things must be considered, the substance of the act and the want of rectitude or conformity (St. Thomas, I-II:72:1). [...] Three kinds of internal sin are usually distinguished: •delectatio morosa, i.e. the pleasure taken in a sinful thought or imagination even without desiring it; •gaudium, i.e. dwelling with complacency on sins already committed; and •desiderium, i.e. the desire for what is sinful. [/quote] [url="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14004b.htm"]source[/url] Again though, the three kinds of internal sin all include an action...pleasure, dwelling, and desire. Those actions are what make the thoughts sinful, not the thought itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I daresay this happens fairly often. After having gone to a college that has a seminary on campus, I've heard a fair number of stories of this sort. First, recognize your attraction for what it is. An attraction. An attraction that can be intensified because a) not only is the individual good looking but b) has his heart in the right place (he's seeking God). That can make for a very attractive person. Second, recognize that he's taken. I know you know this. And you're taken too. But, basically, deal with this attraction as you would to any other 'taken' man. Appreciate the beauty and walk on. It's not bad. It's not sinful. It is what it is. Nip it in the bud as best you can. If it gets to the point where you're going out of your way to go to [i]his[/i] Masses, to have [i]him[/i] hear your confession, etc... then start pulling yourself in the opposite direction. Don't go to his masses. Don't go to him for confession. And, most importantly, pray for the graces to see him as brother in Christ. As spiritual Father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 There's a great section about attraction in Love and Responsibility. Unfortunately, I'm still at work and my copy of that book is at home, so I can't quote it right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 [quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1303426271' post='2230991'] I once received great advise from a priest about looking at hawt ladies. He told me that there is nothing wrong with appreciating their beauty. After all, God created them to be beautiful. But, he also told me in addition to appreciating their beauty, I should imagine myself making the sign of the cross over them, like how a priest would give a blessing. This helps me appreciate their beauty for what it is, and keeps me from moving on to more impure thoughts. [/quote] I. Love.This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalscout Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I'm cynical about this post. If it was from a long standing member then I would believe it but I can't help but see mockery here since it is the first post of a new person. If I am wrong then I apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 [quote name='Cam42' timestamp='1303426811' post='2230996'] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/12252010645.jpg[/IMG] [/quote] OH GREAT CAM, throw more temptation her way!!!! sheesh..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1303496591' post='2231166'] OH GREAT CAM, throw more temptation her way!!!! sheesh..... [/quote] If you are tempted by Cam, there's nothing more we can do for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1303497000' post='2231168'] If you are tempted by Cam, there's nothing more we can do for you. [/quote] HAWT AND HOLY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam42 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1303497052' post='2231169'] HAWT AND HOLY!!! [/quote] Ummmm...yeah, not so much.... [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/1-3-2011081.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/EtIncarnatusEst.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/IMG_4770.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/camilam42/Church/IMG_4701.jpg[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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