Spiritual Directors

[Sarah147]

Here's a great thread about spiritual direction. I learned a few new things from a post on there:

[url="http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=557115"]http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=557115[/url]

[JulianofLdn]

Thanks for that link [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/like.gif[/img]

I especially like the bit about a spiritual director acting like a mirror. Good stuff!

[AccountDeleted]

[size="3"]Just don't be afraid to take a step back if you and your director aren't a good fit. St John of the Cross said that there is nothing worse than a bad spiritual director. And if you feel that one is bad for you, then trust your instincts. That doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything they say, just that you're on the same page, especially as far as the major issues are concerned. I had a very liberal religious sister as a SD once and I stayed with her for about six weeks (we met once a week at that stage because I needed a lot of help) to give her a chance, even though from the beginning I could see that she held a lot of different ideas from myself. But when she started calling the Magesterium a 'bunch of old men who repress women' then I knew that it was time to say goodbye. Sometimes these things take a little while to reveal themselves and I did think this woman was a very kind and generally well-meaning person, but it was very obvious to me that we didn't see the Church from the same perspective.

[/size]

[JulianofLdn]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/dance.gif[/img]

On Tuesday, my priest handed me an address... one of the nuns at Notting Hill has agreed to meet with me She's waiting for me to contact her, via a letter.

So, of course, I'm not sure what to write. Should I just do a basic introduction thing - hi, I'm looking for a spiritual director, my priest recommended a Carmelite, etc. Or should I go into a bit more detail, with information about my faith journey so far, what sort of things I know I need to focus on during my spiritual direction, and so on? Or is that too much?

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img] Typical me to stress about something so very simple!

Nunsense, I missed your last post - but thank you for that advice, too. I'm pretty sure I'll be intimidated to begin with, and will be sure it's a good fit, no matter what. So this is wise advice I need to keep with me. Thank you!

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306570444' post='2247022']
[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/dance.gif[/img]

On Tuesday, my priest handed me an address... one of the nuns at Notting Hill has agreed to meet with me She's waiting for me to contact her, via a letter.

So, of course, I'm not sure what to write. Should I just do a basic introduction thing - hi, I'm looking for a spiritual director, my priest recommended a Carmelite, etc. Or should I go into a bit more detail, with information about my faith journey so far, what sort of things I know I need to focus on during my spiritual direction, and so on? Or is that too much?

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img] Typical me to stress about something so very simple!

Nunsense, I missed your last post - but thank you for that advice, too. I'm pretty sure I'll be intimidated to begin with, and will be sure it's a good fit, no matter what. So this is wise advice I need to keep with me. Thank you!
[/quote]


Oooh, which one???? Do you live near Notting Hill? They are absolutely lovely and extremely grounded in their faith. Their parlour is a tad scary but only a tad - there are no grilles but its still the old set up just minus the grilles. their extren is a darling and she has the fattest dog I have every seen, called Paddy

I am going to be visiting them again soon, but thats its own thread, lol

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306570444' post='2247022']
Should I just do a basic introduction thing - hi, I'm looking for a spiritual director, my priest recommended a Carmelite, etc. Or should I go into a bit more detail, with information about my faith journey so far, what sort of things I know I need to focus on during my spiritual direction, and so on? Or is that too much?
[/quote]

Don't worry about stressing... I think that's normal. We all stressed, some of us (like me) still do stress when it comes to spiritual direction. It takes a loooong time to stop stressing

Anyway, I would suggest you write with some details while still keeping it general. You could generally outline where you are in your faith and why you are looking for a spiritual director, without being too specific. I wouldn't say just yet the things you think you need to work on, better to wait and meet the person first... in my opinion.

Well... you've already got some good advice on this thread, so I won't add much.

From my experience, spiritual direction is "messy buisiness"... in the beginning I thought the only difficulty would be sharing my thoughts and feelings with another person, well then I discovered that [i]that [/i]is just the [i]beginning.[/i] I loved the post about the "mirror"... it's easy to fall into the trap of just wanting someone else to tell you what to do. Anyway, it's important to find the right "fit". It's important to "try out" the relationship, but it's also important to decide to stick with it after a certain period or you could end up constantly changing, especially if things get to be challenging. That is counter-productive in the end! You won't always like what your SD has to say to you, but it's a chance to grow.

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306570444' post='2247022']
[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/dance.gif[/img]

On Tuesday, my priest handed me an address... one of the nuns at Notting Hill has agreed to meet with me She's waiting for me to contact her, via a letter.

So, of course, I'm not sure what to write. Should I just do a basic introduction thing - hi, I'm looking for a spiritual director, my priest recommended a Carmelite, etc. Or should I go into a bit more detail, with information about my faith journey so far, what sort of things I know I need to focus on during my spiritual direction, and so on? Or is that too much?

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img] Typical me to stress about something so very simple!

Nunsense, I missed your last post - but thank you for that advice, too. I'm pretty sure I'll be intimidated to begin with, and will be sure it's a good fit, no matter what. So this is wise advice I need to keep with me. Thank you!
[/quote]

So happy for you! Here is a little blurp in Zenit on the Holy Father's recommendation that all the Baptized should receive spiritual direction. [url="http://www.zenit.org/article-32619?l=english"]Pope Recommends Spiritual Direction[/url]

Pray about what you should write so that the Sister at Carmel may be able to direct you. I recall my first meeting with my spiritual director (a Dominican Priest) and it was all about details. He needed to know my entire history and my family history from spiritual to medical so that he could better lead me into Christ. Not details but facts, kind of like your first appointment with a new doctor and you get paper work with a bunch of boxes to check of ailments, conditions, significant events...

[JulianofLdn]

Thanks carmenchristi and Santa Cruz The recommendation to pray is a very good one, and the idea to stay general and just outline my situation has helped a great deal! I'll write the letter tomorrow, after Mass (I reckon it's better to make it handwritten, in this case. I should get some decent writing paper and envelopes whilst I'm about it. The thought of sending a letter to a Carmelite monastery in a hot pink envelope is just wrong!)

Faithcecelia, I think I'll PM you

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306599008' post='2247074']
The thought of sending a letter to a Carmelite monastery in a hot pink envelope is just wrong!

[/quote]


It would brighten their day! I would frequently write [i]from [/i]a Carmelite monastery on bright pink paper, or cartoony paper, or even paper covered in baby dinosaurs!

Seriously, do what you think best, but remember your words are what matters, not what you write them on.

[JulianofLdn]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306602026' post='2247084']
It would brighten their day! I would frequently write [i]from [/i]a Carmelite monastery on bright pink paper, or cartoony paper, or even paper covered in baby dinosaurs!

Seriously, do what you think best, but remember your words are what matters, not what you write them on.
[/quote]


[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap.gif[/img] There's something quite pleasing about that! I especially like the thought of baby dinosaur paper...

But, you're quite right. The words matter, and they'll be the things I work on tomorrow. I suppose I just don't want to make a fool of myself. It happens all too easily with me... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/boink.gif[/img]

Like, what is the correct etiquette when addressing a nun? Should I simply write:

'Dear Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity,'

as an opener?

(No, that's not her name. But a bit of help from said Blessed wouldn't go amiss...)

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306611948' post='2247121']
[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap.gif[/img] There's something quite pleasing about that! I especially like the thought of baby dinosaur paper...

But, you're quite right. The words matter, and they'll be the things I work on tomorrow. I suppose I just don't want to make a fool of myself. It happens all too easily with me... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/boink.gif[/img]

Like, what is the correct etiquette when addressing a nun? Should I simply write:

'Dear Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity,'

as an opener?

(No, that's not her name. But a bit of help from said Blessed wouldn't go amiss...)




[/quote]

If I know their full name like that I tend to address it that way until they sign off differently - ie when the prioress at Kirk Edge signed off as Mother, I began to address her that way. I don't think NH use Mother, in fact I am 99% sure they don't.

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1306599008' post='2247074']
The thought of sending a letter to a Carmelite monastery in a hot pink envelope is just wrong!
[/quote]

Hahaha... this is off topic, but I wrote to a community once with bright green paper with multi-colored smiley faces in the border. With that letter I was "breaking up" with the community because I had decided that I was called to marriage. Then a few years later I entered that same community! I even saw the letter in my folder once. What an embarassment! I'm guessing that it is still in the archives!
I think you are right to feel better about using more subdued stationary! hahaha, it just might haunt you later on like it did me!

[JulianofLdn]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol3.gif[/img]

That's a great story (and cautionary tale )

I think I'll buy the sensible stationery. Just in case.

[quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1306613182' post='2247128']
Hahaha... this is off topic, but I wrote to a community once with bright green paper with multi-colored smiley faces in the border. With that letter I was "breaking up" with the community because I had decided that I was called to marriage. Then a few years later I entered that same community! I even saw the letter in my folder once. What an embarassment! I'm guessing that it is still in the archives!
I think you are right to feel better about using more subdued stationary! hahaha, it just might haunt you later on like it did me!
[/quote]

[MargaretTeresa]

When I get back to school, I'll be talking to my pastor about a spiritual director. The next two months are gonna be the Devil. I hate being home from school.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I get to see my spiritual director in a week's time... and it's been since the week before Lent since I last spoke with him. Long distance is difficult.