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Ave Maria!


tnavarro61

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Hello Phatmass! I've been away for 16 days and I know that most of you know that I went to the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate.. Those sixtreen days are my most meaningful days of my life. It is so wonderful that to go back to the world is a torture. I feel like a lamb going back to the world of wolves. Before I left, I wrote in my journal that this I would use whatever what I have learned inside the Marian friary. I realized that I am wearing a "wolf disguised" so as not to be attacked by real wolves. This time I would take off that disguise and start livin the life to the fullest :like:

I arrived at the Marian House in the afternoon of March 31, earlier than expected. I was led to a cell named after Padre Pio. It was my cell for sixteen days. The bed is made of wood, over it is a straw mat (no mattress), a pillow and two sheets of blankets. My first nights were kinda hard. I wasn't able to sleep well because everytime I move to the other side of the bed while sleeping, I would feel my ribs breaking. Maybe it's because of my thin frame! But I got used to the bed, and if I thought, if ever I die in my sleep I would die on a wood, just like Jesus. A saint said this, and this thought is a great help. Also, the wooden bed helped me fight gluttony to sleep. I am glad that I am able to rise when the bell rings. I feared that I won't and it would be very humiliating! During the lent they rose up at 1am for Matins. It was too hard for me that all throughout my visit I didn't join the midnight Matins. I thought it would be very easy, but with less than8 hours of sleep, it's very difficult. One of the postulants told me it's wonderful to pray in the midnight.

They pray the Rosary three times at the chapel. One of the friars told me that they are obliged to pray the four sets of mysteries (right term). They sing the Tota pulchra after the morning prayers. They kiss the floor when entering and leaving the chapel for prayers. They pray a lot of Latin which I find hard to pronounce and memorize! They plane chant the LOTH.

Breakfasts are taken in silence. On Fridays (Except on solemnities I think) they take breakfast while kneeling. Breakfasts are taken while listening to tapes. While going to the refectory, the community forms a procession, then sings a hymn to the Blessed Mother. Father Guardian would give the blessing and would read first from a book (at supper, he would read the Gospel for the next day.) Then we are allowed to talk . I am seated next to a kind friar, who is so brotherly. Ge's young, and he shares jokes and Franciscan stories and teachings. It's just awe[i][/i]some. There's no exaggeration here by the way (because the friar is giving Franciscan teachings while eating, you might be thinking that while eating we were levitating, eyes towards the skies, while surrounded by oohs and aahs!) He did it simply yet strikingly.

I got three work assignments in 16 days. First I was assigned to the kitchen. It was so humbling because I do not know how to cook, even rice! Then I was assigned to help the brother assigned to the sacristy. We cleaned the shrine and the chapel inside and it's the best work I ever had. I do not know how to put into words what I am thinking about this work. moving on, I was assigned too to help the friar-technician (who is my seatmate at the refectory). He thought me how to do those electric wire things, how to use the battery operated screwdriver (because I think i am too weak to use the ordinary one! :P) and the drill. I felt like a carpenter, and I am hoping to learn more about that skill. It is fun!

I do not know if I could say more. Everything is simply wonderful and fulfilling. Simply life-changing. I am just so sad that I have to go back to the world. I left l;ast Saturday, during the supper. I was saying goodbye to everybody, then I closed the refectory door. I feel like I'm going away from heaven. Right now I just can't believe I am at home, I just cannot believe that I am in front of the computer again. I just cannot believe that I am back. I just cannot believe that I am not inside the Marian house.

Prayers for my discernment please! Their life is the life I've been looking for more than three years.

Ave Maria!

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OnlySunshine

Sounds wonderful! Are you planning to make another visit or was it proof enough for you to ask for an application? :)

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InPersonaChriste

It sounds wonderful! Many prayers for you! As my mother said when we visited the cloistered nuns "You are living in the real world, we are not."

How true those words are as religious people seem to start heaven on earth as their vows allow them to do so.

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LaPetiteSoeur

It sounds like you had a blessings filled time! It's so exciting!

God bless you on your continued discernment--and prayers for later visits to your "home."

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HopefulBride

Nav, I am so happy for you!! Reading this is definitely wonderful.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

Continued prayers,
HB

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I tell you, it's soooo much the same for the FI Sisters. Except, in the USA, the Sisters have cots and things similar to a matress. I wasn't with them during Lent, so I don't know if they get up at night.

Totally a.wesome that you seem to have found THE order!

Edited by JoyfulLife
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JulianofLdn

I'm new to VS - and to you, and your discernment story - but even I can feel the love and joy and sense of fulfilment you've been given. Wonderful news! Good luck with your next steps, whatever they are. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]

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