Maid Of Honor In A Suit

[emilier98]

Does the couple in question know if this woman is actually committing homosexual acts? Because, and this is my understand, the Church says that while being homosexual and having homosexual feelings/desires is not a sin acting on them is. So if she is not engaging in homosexual acts I see no issue with her being the maid of honor. As far as the pantsuit thing, yah, she should sacrifice for her friend and wear the dress. The last wedding I was in I had to wear a dress that I had to wear a corset under. I stuck it out for the wedding and the pictures and changed for the reception because she is my friend.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1302652194' post='2227973']
As far as the pantsuit thing, yah, she should sacrifice for her friend and wear the dress. The last wedding I was in I had to wear a dress that I had to wear a corset under. I stuck it out for the wedding and the pictures and changed for the reception because she is my friend.
[/quote]

Both you and MIKolbe captured the main point. The focus of the wedding is the bride and groom, and someone who agrees to be part of the wedding party is also agreeing to go along with what the bride and groom want their attendants to wear. As a result, many of us have dresses we will never wear again, and I suspect many of the men have pictures of themselves in tuxedos in colors unknown in nature. But, the bride and groom were happy, and that's what is important. These are the kinds of things you do for people you care about.

No one is requiring the woman to be the maid of honor. If the other attendants are wearing dresses, and the maid of honor feels uncomfortable wearing a dress, then the maid of honor should make it easy for the bride and say, "I'm really honored, but let X be your maid of honor instead."

By the way, this rule of thumb doesn't apply if the "maid" of honor is a man or the "Best Man" is a woman. I'm not talkng about some weird perversion thing, but cases where the bride's or groom's (platonic) best friend is of the opposite gender. If the "Maid of Honor" is actually the "Man of Honor" he can simply wear the same ugly tuxedo as the groomsmen.

[Groo the Wanderer]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1302650290' post='2227948']

she's wack.
[/quote]



werd

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1302575990' post='2227684']
OK, so here's the question...

Is it okay for a maid of honor in a wedding to wear a p[font="Arial"]a[/font]nts-suit instead of a dress?

My cousin will be getting married in the church this June. I just found out that the maid of honor is gay, and my cousin told her that if she feels uncomfortable wearing a dress, she didn't have to--that she could wear a p[font="Arial"]a[/font]nts-suit that matched the other bridesmaid's dresses... I asked if they passed this idea by the priest, and they didn't. They don't think it's a big deal so don't see a need to let the priest know before-hand.

I strongly encouraged them to talk to the priest about it.

Thoughts? Advice? Big deal? Non-issue? What do you think?
[/quote]

Myself, I would have a rather large problem having one of the witnesses to my marriage be gay. Myself, being that I'm getting married in three months, I picked men for my bridal party that had good faith lives, because I want men with good faith lives to be witness to this covenant that I and my fiancee will be enacting, God willing. Further, I want to use my wedding to evangelize them.

While sexual orientation and faith are not mutually exclusive, I still question whether someone who was gay could possibly fulfill the same function, because I want my wedding to call them to be better men, and better husbands.

[elizabeth09]

I perfor that my maid of honor to wear a dress.

[abrideofChrist]

A few thoughts on the situation:

If the maid of honor is a (public) practicing lesbian, the pastor should be notified and/or she should refrain from receiving Holy Communion.
If she is simply a closet lesbian or has "deep seated tendencies", I'm not sure I'd bring it up to the pastor.
If she wears pant.s- well, there's nothing wrong with that and if the bride doesn't care, then it seems that nobody else really should either.
Since it is not clear whether the MOH is openly lesbian... or if she is related to the bride/groom, it is also unclear as to whether people would be truly shocked at the situation of her being in the wedding party. While it doesn't make sense to "honor" a person openly practicing a lifestyle contrary to Christian marriage, the MOH's sole ecclesial function is to be a witness to the marriage.
The cousin would do well to request the priest or deacon who will witness the marriage to say a few words on the worthy reception of Holy Communion.

My prayers and good wishes for the bride and groom!

Edited April 13, 2011 by abrideofChrist

[loveletslive]

lesbians can't wear dresses?

[Vincent Vega]

I believe it interferes with their feng shui.

[jenzeler]

Some women just do not feel comfortable wearing dresses or skirts. It doesn't necessarily reflect their sexuality. I know some straight women who always wear pantaloons and they would probably look weird in skirts - this is probably the bride's call - after all, it's her wedding party and she's going to have look at these pictures forever. I think it is just a personal thing and as for the woman being gay, I think you can be suffering from SSA and still be okay in the eyes of Church; even if you live with someone. Only they know what they do in private. I am going to pray for all involved.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1302575990' post='2227684']
OK, so here's the question...

Is it okay for a maid of honor in a wedding to wear a p[font="Arial"]a[/font]nts-suit instead of a dress?

My cousin will be getting married in the church this June. I just found out that the maid of honor is gay, and my cousin told her that if she feels uncomfortable wearing a dress, she didn't have to--that she could wear a p[font="Arial"]a[/font]nts-suit that matched the other bridesmaid's dresses... I asked if they passed this idea by the priest, and they didn't. They don't think it's a big deal so don't see a need to let the priest know before-hand.

I strongly encouraged them to talk to the priest about it.

Thoughts? Advice? Big deal? Non-issue? What do you think?
[/quote]
I think unless the woman's sexual preferences is common knowledge to everyone, everybody is gonna spend their time discussing the clothing choices than discussing the wedding and all the focus will be on the MOH , not the wedding couple. Private behavior is one thing, but a wedding is usually a very tradition moment in most people's lives- most girls start planning by age 5 , and if the MOH can't conform for ONE day for the sake of her friend, maybe she should reconsider being in the wedding.

[Ash Wednesday]

I'd say in the social context of her standing up there in a suit while the rest of the bridesmaids are in dresses, I think it's questionable for a Catholic wedding and could potentially be an occasion for scandal and absolutely should be discussed with the priest.

Like Cmom pointed out, in a misguided attempt to be accommodating to her friend, the bride will be inadvertently turning her own wedding into a public social statement for someone else. People are going to be paying more attention to the girl in the suit than anything else.

The unfortunate fact is that most bridesmaids dresses are NOT comfortable for ANY girl wearing them, no matter what your orientation is! She should just take it on the chin for her friend and wear the dress.

Edited April 17, 2011 by Ash Wednesday