I Really Don't Like My Old Parish

[Luigi]

"I've definitely got a lot to work on. Like I said previously, I am a sinner, but I'm trying to become a saint and sometimes I fall. Lord forgive me if I was disrespectful."

If being disrespectful was the worst thing you did today, you're probably ahead of the rest of us!

They say a monastery is a "school of charity;" well so is a parish. Any time you put two humanoids in close proximity, there will be some friction - ask any married couple you know. When you put a lot of humanoids - even the Catholic kind - in close proximity... say, at a church... it'll be that much worse. But it's in those situations that we learn to accept our brothers & sisters.

You're feeling bad because you had a negative reaction - don't be so hard on yourself. You and your mom will get over your argument - you're just humanoids in close proximity. And you and your parish will get over each other, too - just another example of humanoids in close proximity.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1302494490' post='2227409']
"I've definitely got a lot to work on. Like I said previously, I am a sinner, but I'm trying to become a saint and sometimes I fall. Lord forgive me if I was disrespectful."

If being disrespectful was the worst thing you did today, you're probably ahead of the rest of us!

They say a monastery is a "school of charity;" well so is a parish. Any time you put two humanoids in close proximity, there will be some friction - ask any married couple you know. When you put a lot of humanoids - even the Catholic kind - in close proximity... say, at a church... it'll be that much worse. But it's in those situations that we learn to accept our brothers & sisters.

You're feeling bad because you had a negative reaction - don't be so hard on yourself. [b]You and your mom will get over your argument[/b] - you're just humanoids in close proximity. And you and your parish will get over each other, too - just another example of humanoids in close proximity.
[/quote]

Thanks, Luigi. I think I needed to hear those words. My mom and I are not arguing anymore. We just let the argument lie. I was actually the one who instigated it in the first place over some petty thing. I look back now and realize it was really childish and immature. But it's a lesson in humility, someone once told me. If we can understand our shortcomings and work on them, it gets us closer to becoming a saint. That's why God gave us the gift of Confession. I have a long road ahead of me. Thanks again.

Edited April 11, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[Archaeology cat]

OP - I understand the need to vent. I think MissScripture had some good advice in listing the good things - it's something I need to remember, actually.

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1302490746' post='2227383']
Screaming kids, yes, they are annoying, and it would be great if parents could get them out sooner, but sometimes I think Mom or Dad are hoping "just one more second and she'll shut up and be quiet as a lamb." Kids can go from screaming to silent in a matter of moments. It stinks to haul them up and down and all around when by the time you get to the cry room they're quiet. I knew of a bishop once who would always say when a baby cried during his Masses, "don't be embarassed, mom and dad. That's a beautiful noise. Too many little voices have been considered inconvenient or a potential annoyance and silenced in the abortion mills. That's the future of the church right there." Which if you look at it from that perspective makes it easier to bear.
[/quote]
Thank you. I don't immediately take my children out, because I try to see if I can calm them right there quickly instead of shuffling out of the pew and into the narthex (no cry room in my parish; I actually don't know if any of the parishes in the area have cry rooms). Usually I can get the child quiet easily when it's crying. Charlotte has found her voice and likes to chatter, though Fr Theo charitably told me she was "singing". I can't really take her out and leave Kieran when my husband isn't with me (like today), and taking them both out causes an even bigger disturbance. I do know that noisy children can be annoying/distracting to others, and I try to keep them quiet, but they aren't going to be silent. I used to get really annoyed before I had children, but I understand it now.

[Chamomile]

MM

I've felt similarly before. I don't have any advice to give in addition to what people have already said. Except that it helps to always think of Jesus on the cross whenever you're suffering for whatever reason.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1302513488' post='2227452']
OP - I understand the need to vent. I think MissScripture had some good advice in listing the good things - it's something I need to remember, actually.


Thank you. I don't immediately take my children out, because I try to see if I can calm them right there quickly instead of shuffling out of the pew and into the narthex (no cry room in my parish; I actually don't know if any of the parishes in the area have cry rooms). Usually I can get the child quiet easily when it's crying. Charlotte has found her voice and likes to chatter, though Fr Theo charitably told me she was "singing". I can't really take her out and leave Kieran when my husband isn't with me (like today), and taking them both out causes an even bigger disturbance. I do know that noisy children can be annoying/distracting to others, and I try to keep them quiet, but they aren't going to be silent. I used to get really annoyed before I had children, but I understand it now.
[/quote]

That's probably my problem. Since I am not a parent, I don't deal with children all day and I don't have as much patience with them as I used to. I used to work in a daycare and I feel it kind of ruined it for me since it was not something I was into. I have never wanted to teach and I was put in with the toddlers and pre-K classes which were very trying to me. I really loved the infant room and the preschool room but they decided to make me a floater so I was hardly ever in either of those rooms.

I can understand your point, though. This child at Mass was being very LOUD. Banging books in the pew, shouting weird noises at the top of her lungs, telling her dad "NO!" when he told her to be quiet. She was being a brat. I like to think I've gotten better since working at the daycare about 4 years ago, but I really had a difficult time yesterday keeping my cool. I kept trying to look around to see where the noise was coming from so I could look at the parent and maybe help them understand that it was distracting, but I could never figure out where it was from.

Please pray for me to gain patience. I know that I really need to work on that. As the old adage goes "patience is a virtue" and definitely one I am lacking in when it comes to little kids. I found some perfect prayers for me to start reflecting and meditating on:

[center][i]Patience is a virtue of the Lord:
He awaits the return of His children.
Forgive my trespasses Oh Lord Jesus,
For many times have I tested You.
I deserved the wrath of Your hand,
But You saw greater things for me:
Your patience has been enormous!
Grant me a droplet of such endurance,
That I may abolish my impious impatience,
Refraining from using unpleasant words,
And always reflecting Your serenity.
Great is the Lord Jesus in His ways!
Amen.[/i][/center]
[center][i]
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine. Amen.[/i][/center]

[Lil Red]

if you pray for patience, God puts you in situations to strengthen/test your patience. just from my personal experience

[Noel's angel]

[img]http://whycatholicsdothat.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/holy_eucharist1.jpg[/img]

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1302540485' post='2227505']
if you pray for patience, God puts you in situations to strengthen/test your patience. just from my personal experience
[/quote]
This.

MM, I understand what you mean. I never enjoyed babysitting or being around lots of kids or any of that, and didn't have much patience with kids before having one. My, how things change.

[Chamomile]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1302540485' post='2227505']
if you pray for patience, God puts you in situations to strengthen/test your patience. just from my personal experience
[/quote]

Oh yeah. Pray for patience and prepare to be surrounded by frustrating things. Pray for humility and prepare to be humiliated. God is wise & wonderful I mean that in all honesty.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1302540485' post='2227505']
if you pray for patience, God puts you in situations to strengthen/test your patience. just from my personal experience
[/quote]


True true oh so true. Sometimes you wished you hadn't prayed for patience.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1302565084' post='2227632']
True true oh so true. Sometimes you wished you hadn't prayed for patience.
[/quote]



Maybe that's why I was put in the position of going to that Mass last night? To test my patience? Maybe I should stop praying for patience, after all.

[organwerke]

Am I the only one here who thinks that attending the Mass because of Jesus does not mean that mass must be a torture for our nerves?
I know that no one said this...but really, reading many answers, it seems that the most sinner person in the whole situation is MM!!
Well, maybe I am wrong, maybe I'm sinning saying this, but I firmly think that faithfuls have the right to attend a Mass properly celebrated, and properly celebrated means also that you have not to work all the time on your patience and self control.

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='organwerke' timestamp='1302610773' post='2227765']
Am I the only one here who thinks that attending the Mass because of Jesus does not mean that mass must be a torture for our nerves?[/quote]
maybe?
[quote]
I know that no one said this...but really, reading many answers, it seems that the most sinner person in the whole situation is MM!!
Well, maybe I am wrong, maybe I'm sinning saying this, but I firmly think that faithfuls have the right to attend a Mass properly celebrated, and properly celebrated means also that you have not to work all the time on your patience and self control.
[/quote]

I am not sure how anyone would think anyone in this thread, due to what was said in the thread, is more or less of a 'sinner' for holding their thoughts and ideas on the subject.

I, and I dare say everyone in this thread, absolutely believe the Mass should be properly celebrated. There are rubrics, and they are there for a reason.

We, as concerned laity, can use Can. 212 §3 to make our views/feelings/concepts known; but we must also view this and all situations like this as an opportunity to teach, love, correct, and pray.

Although, I do disagree with the last part of your post: we DO have to work on our patience and self control…all the time. Granted, Mass perhaps shouldn’t be the place where we have to work on it..but then… perhaps it should.

My little girl seems to be at her worst in Mass. I have walked out of the “cry room” with her..that is how loud/unruly she gets. I dare not even think of sitting with ‘the normal ones’ yet.

But my little one certainly, at the very very least, distracts from my ability to pray and offer Mass…and she is not in a position to break and rubrics..lol; yet do I EVER have to work on my patience and self control in Mass. I guess I just do not see the full dichotomy I see you presenting.