Anastasia13 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 If you are just starting to go out with a girl you are kind of interested in, would you be offended if she was also flirting with and starting to see someone she met online? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1302479792' post='2227305'] If you are just starting to go out with a girl you are kind of interested in, would you be offended if she was also flirting with and starting to see someone she met online? [/quote] I would be, very much so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1302480404' post='2227309'] I would be, very much so. [/quote] Even if we add the context of still call her a friend, have not introduced her to your friends, just the family that was around and referred to her as a friend when mentioning to a mechanic on the phone, you haven't kissed her yet, and you don't pay for much more than half without having a gift card (though she works part-time and you are just a full-time student)? Edited April 11, 2011 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1302481323' post='2227318'] Even if we add the context of still call her a friend, have not introduced her to your friends, just the family that was around and referred to her as a friend when mentioning to a mechanic on the phone, you haven't kissed her yet, and you don't pay for much more than half without having a gift card (though she works part-time and you are just a full-time student). [/quote] Well, is this a dating situation or isn't it? I hate hate HATE ambiguous relationships. I think they're confusing and unhealthy for all involved parties, and unfair as well. If it's a dating situation, I think getting emotionally involved with other people is quite wrong. If it's not, then there's no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1302481403' post='2227319'] Well, is this a dating situation or isn't it? I hate hate HATE ambiguous relationships. I think they're confusing and unhealthy for all involved parties, and unfair as well. If it's a dating situation, I think getting emotionally involved with other people is quite wrong. If it's not, then there's no problem. [/quote] How would you have that clarified, if most of his asking out is via facebook conversations and there is slight physical affection beyond the girl's previous male/female friendships? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1302481801' post='2227326'] How would you have that clarified, if most of his asking out is via facebook conversations and there is slight physical affection beyond the girl's previous male/female friendships? [/quote] Need to be direct with him. If he can't do the same, then he's not serious, and therefore not worth it (or else just spineless, and therefore not worth it). Preferably with a face to face conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Sorry if I came off sounding harsh. I have strong feelings about bad relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1302482708' post='2227332'] Sorry if I came off sounding harsh. I have strong feelings about bad relationships. [/quote] I didn't think you came off harsh at all, but perhaps that is due to the media of communication and my intentions in this thread. I wanted honest feedback about a situation with a guy and you gave it to me. I will probably go with what you suggested unless someone presents a good argument for something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Guys don't play mind games or things like that. At least normal guys don't. We respond to direct action. If a guy is being unclear with you, then my guess has to be that he's either confused himself, or else very selfish. Either way, I think that would become clear once he's addressed directly about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1302483605' post='2227342'] Guys don't play mind games or things like that. At least normal guys don't. We respond to direct action. If a guy is being unclear with you, then my guess has to be that he's either confused himself, or else very selfish. Either way, I think that would become clear once he's addressed directly about it. [/quote] I would agree that, in general, guys don't play mind games. But there are some guys who do. I have had the unfortunate experience of knowing some of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fr. Antony Maria OSB Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I agree with Nihil Obstat: define the relationship, preferably face to face, and go from there. With the whole paying thing, I think that also would be a good indication that this wouldn't be dating. When I go on dates with girls, I pay for the date, no questions asked. Call me old fashioned, but I think that's how it should go. I hope you get everything cleared up: these types of situations can be tough. May God bless and protect you always in all of your endeavors! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1302483827' post='2227344'] I would agree that, in general, guys don't play mind games. But there are some guys who do. I have had the unfortunate experience of knowing some of them. [/quote] I know one too, and it infuriates me. He acts like a hormonal teenage girl sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 (edited) [quote name='NazFarmer' timestamp='1302484000' post='2227346'] I agree with Nihil Obstat: define the relationship, preferably face to face, and go from there. With the whole paying thing, I think that also would be a good indication that this wouldn't be dating. When I go on dates with girls, I pay for the date, no questions asked. Call me old fashioned, but I think that's how it should go. I hope you get everything cleared up: these types of situations can be tough. May God bless and protect you always in all of your endeavors! Joe [/quote] Would you still suggest asking him where we stand before going out with someone else who offered to escort me to a restaurant he knows and that I am interested in visiting (this guy is actually a friend of a former classmate and another acquaintance)? This guy paid for a little over half on Valentine's day when I suggested we do something since neither of us had dates, bought dinner with a gift card and paid for a rental when the theater movies had already started another time, and paid for his own stuff when he joined me at a friend's birthday outing. He also has only had one real relationship, which is sort of the same for me as I had one bf and one guy I dated a little bit. Edited April 11, 2011 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 i'm a girl.. but i'm gonna go ahead and answer this anyways if the situation you asked about wasn't wrong, you wouldn't have to ask others about it. you also wouldn't have to make excuses. if it was right, you'd have peace. clearly you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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