Evil Traditionalists

[Maggyie]

No I'm not talking about liturgical traditionalists, who are mostly not evil at all. I mean Wedding Traddies.

Those who insist you must save the top layer of your cake and eat in on your one year anniversary, or it's not a real wedding.
Those who say you have to have a head table and let everyone stare at you while you eat, or it's not a real wedding.
Those who claim you must do a bouquet toss (awkwardz) and a garter toss (many many awkwardz) or it's not a real wedding.

Also people who think everyone "deserves" to bring a date.
And that you have to have wedding colors.
And that the wedding party has to "match" the colors.
And the invitations have to "match."
And that basically it has to be one giant pie of matchy-matchiness.

OR IT'S NOT A REAL WEDDING!!!!!!!

I am so stressy! I am getting married in six months and the rad-trads are everywhere pooping on my parade! Surely I am not the only bride to want to omit things like the limo? And the floral centerpieces? And the corsages? Meh?

[doe-jo]

Remember, it's your wedding and no one else. Don't worry too much about what others think.

[MissScripture]

I angered people just by picking the date I did (in February). "What about the people who have kids in school?" they would angrily ask me. And I responded, "What's more important? Me being at my wedding? Or other people being at my wedding?"

If it's any consolation, we did not do the top layer of the cake thing (at my mother's advice --she said it was just nasty when they did it). And guess what, after a year and a first anniversary that was cakeless, WE ARE STILL MARRIED! Crazy, isn't it?
And we didn't have a limo! My little sister drove us in a BIG PURPLE MINIVAN!

I flat out told people (not that I would recommend doing this, but it DOES shut 'em up) that I honestly didn't care what they wanted, or they thought, the point was for me to get married, and all that I needed for that was my (now) husband, a priest, myself and 2 witnesses. Because that is REALLY what it's about. Not the napkins and chair covers and shoes and flowers. So, take a deep breath and ignore everyone else who knows better, and do what YOU want.

Oh, and a friend of mine who is getting married did something I thought was utterly brilliant on her invitations! On the RSVP card, she had written, 2 seats are reserved for you, please let us know if you will be able to attend! That way, there was not a question about how many people were invited, which was a HUGE problem at my brother's wedding.

And, from my own experience, do NOT wait until the night before the wedding to print off programs.

ETA: No tuxes, either, cuz the hubby just wanted to buy a nice black suit, which he needed anyway.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1301362407' post='2224071']
Those who insist you must save the top layer of your cake and eat in on your one year anniversary, or it's not a real wedding.[/quote]
didn't do it

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1301362407' post='2224071']Those who say you have to have a head table and let everyone stare at you while you eat, or it's not a real wedding.[/quote]didn't do it.

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1301362407' post='2224071']Those who claim you must do a bouquet toss (awkwardz) and a garter toss (many many awkwardz) or it's not a real wedding.[/quote] did it, but we had a fairly small wedding where we pretty much knew everyone (and everyone was in on the joke)

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1301362407' post='2224071']Also people who think everyone "deserves" to bring a date.
And that you have to have wedding colors.
And that the wedding party has to "match" the colors.
And the invitations have to "match."
And that basically it has to be one giant pie of matchy-matchiness.[/quote]
we had colors, but they were simple. we did ask the best man (we only had a best man and maid of honor, that's it) to have a tux; of course the groom had a tux too. the maid of honor and the flower girls were given the color and then asked to find a dress that was close to that color, but to have it be something they could (and would) wear again.

[quote name='Maggie' timestamp='1301362407' post='2224071']
I am so stressy! I am getting married in six months and the rad-trads are everywhere pooping on my parade! Surely I am not the only bride to want to omit things like the limo? And the floral centerpieces? And the corsages? Meh?[/quote]
no, you're not. we borrowed my father-in-law's nice caddy to be chauffeured from the church to the reception. i looked for deals everywhere and we got a lot of stuff cheap. my wedding dress was made by my mom and gramma.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1301363306' post='2224079']I angered people just by picking the date I did (in February).[/quote]
us too! it was our dating anniversary, so we just kept it.
[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1301363306' post='2224079']
I flat out told people (not that I would recommend doing this, but it DOES shut 'em up) that I honestly didn't care what they wanted, or they thought, the point was for me to get married, and all that I needed for that was my (now) husband, a priest, myself and 2 witnesses. Because that is REALLY what it's about. Not the napkins and chair covers and shoes and flowers. So, take a deep breath and ignore everyone else who knows better, and do what YOU want. [/quote]
my mom was very strong about her opinion at my sister's first wedding. when my wedding came around, i flat out told her: "I will listen to your opinion once. If I don't like it, I'll ask you not to keep bringing it up over and over." it very much helped our relationship during a very stressful time.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1301363960' post='2224087']
us too! it was our dating anniversary, so we just kept it.

my mom was very strong about her opinion at my sister's first wedding. when my wedding came around, i flat out told her: "I will listen to your opinion once. If I don't like it, I'll ask you not to keep bringing it up over and over." it very much helped our relationship during a very stressful time.
[/quote]
My mom only gave her opinion when she was "upgrading" some things that she knew we would never mention because she and my dad were paying for it, and she knew we felt bad they were paying so much. (like she paid to have a DJ, when we were just going to ask some friends, and she paid to have nice cloth tablecloths, instead of plastic). Other than that, she did a pretty good job of not saying too much...although she also knew I was telling people off, so I think she figured it best for our relationship.

[doe-jo]

My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and we're starting to upset some people Also because we are doing what we want - date (may 1st 2012 which is a Tuesday), Latin mass (which offends people anyway), the location (the church is an hour and a half away from where our families live), no booze, limited guests, no garter thing because I don't think it's appropriate, etc.

It's good to listen to experienced people's advice but dont let it stress you out. Do what you and your fiancé want to do... as long as it's not sinful. Lol