tinytherese Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 As many of you know I've gone through abuse from my dad and some of you may know that I've been living with my mom's parents while my parents have been working on their marriage. He was abusive to me emotionally and mentally. He physically tortured me as a child and did some other physical things to me later on. (Not as in beat me up or slap me, but tap my knees hard with his fist like one would knock on a door and squeeze my shoulders hard while he mocked me for expressing pain, laughing at me, and told me that it didn't hurt.) Later on he started sexually harassing me by inappropriately touching me. Even though I was never raped, I suffer through a similar trauma as if he had tried to and one summer I lived in constant fear that he would do this to me. My mom told me that she is going to legally separate from my dad and divorce, but she won't tell him for another week because there are certain things that she is sorting out with a lawyer. I'm glad that this is finally about to happen. I'll get to live with my mom and brother again! So far mom has told her sister, but as far as I know she hasn't told her parents yet. She's nervous about that because of my grandpa. She thinks that he's going to be disappointed in her for not getting the marriage to work. Yet it isn't her fault! My dad has been the one who has been selfish and toxic! He said that he was going to fight for my mom and I, but his definition of that is to firmly plant his feet into the ground to be with mom in the house but not make improvements with himself. He has shown little cooperation, despite the therapy that my parents have been going through for over a year now. Mom is concerned about dad wanting to really fight for joint custody with my little brother. Considering his behavior towards my mom and I this wouldn't be healthy for the little guy. Mom has asked me to pray that dad be honest with himself and not to push for this. She says that if she does that she will bring up in court how he has treated me. Out of obedience to her, I pray that dad won't do this, but I would prefer that she bring up how he has treated me regardless. Mom is also concerned about how my dad's family will react to this, in particular my grandma, aunt, and one of my cousins. Mom predicts that she might not be welcome to see them anymore and she hopes that they don't their anger and frustration out on my little brother and I. We don't know if we'll be in good standing with them. So my mom has been hiding how stressed out she is and is having some medical issues that she is reluctant to talk to be about which appear to be connected to the stress. She works at least 60 hours a week and has been avoiding spending time with dad. According to her, he seems to suspect that she will leave him. Mom says that she is okay with remaining single and doesn't want to look in to finding someone else. She thinks that dad will want to though and she is willing to go through the annulment process. I know that this is something that we shouldn't worry about yet since it isn't happening at least not yet, but I pray that if an annulment would not be granted that dad wouldn't leave the Church over that. He is very stubborn and may be a narcissist. It doesn't help that he is basically reluctantly Catholic and has issues with the Church already. I'm just concerned for his salvation. I'll put that in the hands of Jesus though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I'll definitely be praying for you and your family. When my parents legally separated and divorced, at first I was crushed, even after all the pain my father caused me. Looking back, I see that it was probably the best thing for me and my mom. They got an annulment (my father doesn't practice the faith at all anymore, so I totally understand what you said about being concerned about his salvation-keep up the prayers) and my mom is re-married to an amazing man, by far the love of her life and soulmate. I just want to urge you to forgive your father. I made the mistake of not doing that for over five years afterwards. I wouldn't talk to him, anything. No matter what he's done, always forgive, love, and pray for him. If I had done this sooner, I probably would have been a lot happier at certain points of my life. I pray that you and your mom have peace throughout the whole process and for your mom's health. Message me if you ever wanna talk. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Wow that is a heart breaking story, I will definitely be praying for you, I know how hard having your parents divorced can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chamomile Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear about your family troubles. I pray that the situation approves and your mom and yourself will be able to heal. Prayers for your mom, may Our Lady intercede and guide her through these trials and give strength when she needs it most. You have it right on about handing everything over to Jesus. Offer everything up. The burden will be in Jesus' hands and He can make all things news. God bless you and your family and you work to be safe and healed for all involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 I've forgiven him, but whether or not to trust him is something else entirely. i pray for his soul everyday though. I'm actually not saddened by this, but see this as something to praise God about, however I don't show how I feel in regards to that because I know that that's not how mom sees it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 [quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1301285884' post='2223839'] I've forgiven him, but whether or not to trust him is something else entirely. i pray for his soul everyday though. I'm actually not saddened by this, but see this as something to praise God about, however I don't show how I feel in regards to that because I know that that's not how mom sees it. [/quote] Many prayers for you, your family situation, your dad, and especially your mom. I can only imagine how she must be feeling; while everyone who hears of this situation thinks, "She had better get out of there!" and they take it for granted that she should take this step and see it as a good thing ... I know from my own mother's experience that it can be very hard for the woman in the relationship to see it that way. There are a sea of other emotions and feelings that flood their thinking, and it can be an extremely excruciating, tumultuous time. I wish I could give her a hug! It will all be ok! God is looking out for her and He wants her, and especially her children, to be safe. And a hug for you, tinytherese. I am so sorry you had to go through all that. Prayers are with you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth09 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hail Mary, Full of Grace... Praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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