Ok, Here's A Tough One

[Santa Cruz]

Oh and, one more thing, gratitude. There are so many things to be grateful for even in the midst of pain and suffering.

I love this children's song though this is not the best version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEkGiqaIYPs&feature=related

[Cherie]

My prayers are with you!

I agree that often during difficult times, a spirit of gratitude really helps. If I start to sense self-pity creeping up inside me, I often stop and make a list of 10 things I'm grateful for that day. I'm always amazed at the new perspective it gives me.

Letting go of things you don't feel ready to let go of can be excruciatingly difficult. Realize you're not alone! So many of us have had difficulties, too, (although of course everyone's experiences are unique) and we are here for you to help you in any way you need, most especially through prayer.

Sometimes God allows us to fall in our lives in order to keep us humble. If we never messed up, we'd be terribly puffed up with pride. It hurts to look back and see it, but maybe we would be even WORSE off if we never went through it at all.

God's plan is so mysterious. It's not easy to see why He allowed something to happen or why it has to go on like that. No matter what, though, He does love you and care for you and sometimes we will not ever know the reason until we stand before Him in Heaven.

Sorry this was more long winded than I intended; I don't have any advice, really, but you definitely have my prayers! God bless you ; keep trudging forward!

[CatherineM]

When I was talking to my SD today, she mentioned that I often focus on all I've lost, and forget to see what I have.

[zalzan]

This is the Scripture I always turn to in times of trouble or despair:

[b]2nd Corinthians: Praise to the God of All Comfort[/b]
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,[sup][[url="#fen-NIV-28809a"]a[/url]][/sup] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

[Tearz of Wine]

When Jesus appeared to St. Gemma I believe he explained the purpose of suffering very well..

[quote][font=Georgia, Times, serif][size=4][i][color=#FF0000]"Do you know why I desire to send crosses to the souls that are dear to Me? I desire to possess them entirely, and for that reason I surround them with crosses, and I shut them in with tribulations so that they may not escape out of My hands; for that reason I spread thorns everywhere so that giving their affections to no one they may seek all their pleasure in Me alone. My daughter, if the Cross was not felt, it could not be called a Cross. Be certain that if you stand beneath the Cross you will never be lost. The Devil has no power over those souls who weep near the Cross. My daughter, how many would have abandoned Me, if I had not crucified them. The Cross is a very precious gift, and many virtues can be learned through it."[/color][/i][/size][/font][/quote]

Without suffering we would probably go astray. God wants to keep us close to him and sometimes that takes suffering.

[BigJon16]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' timestamp='1301060719' post='2223178']
Ok

I've been putting this off for a long time, but I just don't know where else to turn right now. It should also be noted that I am posting in a very bad mood and on very little sleep.

I am extremely bitter towards God. There is sooo much in my life that I feel is wrong, and that I can do nothing about. Like the fact that my heart aches due to past relationships. I wonder what they would be like had they gone other ways, even though I am married to a woman who is all I could ask for and more. Like the fact that I have been an addict that never wanted to be in the first place, and was just a dumb kid who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That I have been abused, and in trying to just...let others know how I feel, find myself abusing them as well. I never wanted to, but I am not wholly in control of the situation.

God is the only one who saw each and every one of these things coming. He is the one who has allowed me to live in nearly constant pain for the past ten years. I am very, very, VERY mad at him. I don't want to be. I want to heal. But I also want things to be different. I want to smile, not because I want people to think I'm happy, but because I am happy. I want to believe because I actually do believe, not because I'm scared of what may happen if I don't.

Pham I fear that hope is something so foreign to me, I can't remember what it feels like. I feel like a black hole of darkness. And I'm scared, because I can't possibly escape what is eating me alive from within. Why did God do this? I know you can't answer that, so...what can I do? I am so lost.

Thank you, all

Alex
[/quote]

Hope can be a...funny thing. You say that hope is a foreign thing to you but you would not be praying if you did not have [i]hope[/i] that someone, somewhere was listening. You posted this [i]hopeing[/i] that someone would respond with just the right advice to help you out. You see, hope is not so foreign to you. The amount of hope that you have in posting this, in praying, and in being catholictothecore, that, brother, is more [i]hope[/i] than some people have in a whole lifetime.

Now as for advice on what to do, I'd have to say this: Your looking at all the bad things in life, and that is making you mad at God. Start looking at all the good things. He loves you, and that is blessing that triumphs over all. So theres one, now lets start making a list...

You will be in my prayers.

Pax Christi.
Jon

Edited May 17, 2011 by BigJon16

[carmenchristi]

You know, a funny thing really. I've been angry with God before... I mean [i]really [/i]angry, and I would do stupid stuff (maybe nothing horribly sinful, but still...) just to prove it. Then eventually I would feel bad about it and go to confession, and my confessor would usually laugh at me (in a fatherly way). Probably because I'm the kind of person who comes across as sweet and docile, so the thought of me stomping my feet and shaking my fist is rather amusing. But that aside, he helped me to understand that God isn't necessarily offended when we are angry with him. I guess kind of like a parent who does something for his child's own good even though they know that the child will have a negative reaction.

Then there are ups and downs too... God gives some consolation, and you feel like you will be able to survive for another day, even though you're not really "happy" deep down. Sometimes all you can do is live day by day, look for the stregnth to get up in the morning and try to believe that everything is part of a bigger plan that is more amazing than anyone can immagine.

I would suggest not only to pray, but to seek the [i]kind[/i] of prayer that you feel your own. I'm still searching for this myself, and to be honest I don't always stick to it even though I am in religious life. When you are in this kind of a state, the last thing on earth you want is someone preaching at you to pray more... pray however in the way that you can, that's what I've found most helpful. Don't force yourself, and don't try to mold yourself to the idea of prayer that others may have for you.

Also, I don't really know if this applies to you, but you might want to consider what your "anger triggers" are... certain situations that agitate your anger and frustration. The trigger mecchanism is a funny thing. It doesn't have an intelligence of its own, so you can trick it, at least sometimes. For example, I can't stand making proposals or goals, because it's been forced on me too violently but I realise it is something necessary to make any progress, so I make my proposals in a different way and find a different reason to keep them.

Hope this helps. You are in my prayers.

CC

[tinytherese]

I have a couple of book recommendations as well that have helped me.

I Believe in Love

Amazing Grace for Those Who Suffer (10 Stories of People Who Have Suffered Greatly, but Grew in their Faith)

I also have a movie recommendation. We Are Marshall, which is about great suffering, but also great triumph.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oL6HlzQZLo



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CY6pN7ZcKA

Edited May 17, 2011 by tinytherese

[tinytherese]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFwZ7Ekg080


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsT2URr1Igc



Remember, Good Friday came before Easter Sunday and in order to have a rainbow you've got to put up with the rain. (The rainbow reference is from Dolly Pardon.)

[Sarah147]

Cherie gave an excellent post.

Counseling is very necessary for you to work on forgiving all those that have hurt you, and to work on releasing your blame toward God. It helps the healing process to talk with a counselor about all your hurts, how you felt, what's been done, what you can do about it now, etc. A combo of cognitive behavior therapy and talk therapy would be very good.

Always remember that forgiving is a CHOICE and it is ours to make. And God can only forgive our sins when we forgive others. It's something we have to do.

It's a CHOICE to be happy despite all the sufferings in the life. People have to cultivate an attitude of happiness and gratitude. Also, pray for God to fill you with joy, love and peace every day. Every day, offer up all your prayers, works, joys, sacrifices and sufferings to Jesus, through the Blessed Virgin. In your sufferings, unite to the Cross and remember all Jesus went through for you, and remember that He is with you always, through everything.

I saw a program on TV the other day, and the woman was giving suggestions for what to do in suffering and how to forgive. She said that she would not allow negative thoughts about that person to enter her mind, and she would immediately pray and bless that person, and then she would feel love for them. In her tough times of suffering, she would call several other people daily that were suffering and be a friend to them. When you focus on those suffering worse than you, it makes things seem so much lighter for you.

My best advice to you is to work on healing that hurt, because joy can't come and fill you until that is healed. Healing is a process and it will come.

God bless you.

Edited May 18, 2011 by JoyfulLife