Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hey guys. I have decided to turn myself in. I am so torn on this decision. Warrants have been issued and it looks like its going to be a lot of felonies that I am going to have to try to defend myself against. I know that I have allowed myself to be involved in activities that obviously were not legal. I did it for my kids and family. I wasn't selling drugs or anything like that it was a white collar crime. People weren't physically hurt but there property was stolen and I am sure it hurt in some way. I wasn't told whole truths but i did turn a blind eye to justify what I was doing wasn't that bad. Well I have hired a lawyer and he says that he doesn't think I am going to get anytime but they all say that. I am so worried that I am going to go to jail and that I am going to not be there for my family. I just want to run and hide and never talk to anyone but my kids and wife. But is that a good example to my children, no. I know that but my children are 14, 12 and 6. I haven't been the best dad and I realize now that the most important thing is to get God as my number one priority in my and my families lives. I feel like I failed as a father and a husband. I really need the support of complete strangers right now, lol. Please pray for me and give me guidance as my brothers and sisters in Christ. Here are some questions I have... Do I choose my Saint? I mean I feel like Teresa of Avila is the Saint to ask to pray for me. Is that how I do it? Is it wrong to ask God to have mercy on me and spare me from jail/prison? Is it bad to pray for strength all the time and continually ask for guidance and mercy. I never feel like I hear anything back, is that mean i am not a real Catholic? I feel sometimes that I just babble in my prayers. Like I am talking to another person in the room and I hear answers but I feel like its me responding. I haven't gone to mass in 2 weeks either cause I just get distracted when its that time. Is it because I am getting stronger with my walk and the devil is tempting me? Lastly my wife is Mexican and her mom believes in Santeria, I feel its not part of the church and is evil but if she does stuff for me will that hurt my prayers? And is there a certain prayer I should be praying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Blind' timestamp='1300842672' post='2222499'] Do I choose my Saint? I mean I feel like Teresa of Avila is the Saint to ask to pray for me. Is that how I do it? Is it wrong to ask God to have mercy on me and spare me from jail/prison? Is it bad to pray for strength all the time and continually ask for guidance and mercy. I never feel like I hear anything back, is that mean i am not a real Catholic? I feel sometimes that I just babble in my prayers. Like I am talking to another person in the room and I hear answers but I feel like its me responding. I haven't gone to mass in 2 weeks either cause I just get distracted when its that time. Is it because I am getting stronger with my walk and the devil is tempting me? Lastly my wife is Mexican and her mom believes in Santeria, I feel its not part of the church and is evil but if she does stuff for me will that hurt my prayers? And is there a certain prayer I should be praying? [/quote] Do I choose my Saint? I mean I feel like Teresa of Avila is the Saint to ask to pray for me. Is that how I do it? Ask her to pray for you. Look at her example, tell her you need her intercession. Is it wrong to ask God to have mercy on me and spare me from jail/prison? No, it's not wrong. Go to Confession and let the rest happen as God wills it. Is it bad to pray for strength all the time and continually ask for guidance and mercy. I never feel like I hear anything back, is that mean i am not a real Catholic? Keep praying, keep asking for mercy and strength. I rarely hear something back explicitly when I pray. It comes later, and gradually... but it always comes. It will for you too. Keep praying. I feel sometimes that I just babble in my prayers. Like I am talking to another person in the room and I hear answers but I feel like its me responding. Keep praying, no matter what. If you feel like you're babbling, try rote prayers. If you feel a response, listen. I haven't gone to mass in 2 weeks either cause I just get distracted when its that time. Is it because I am getting stronger with my walk and the devil is tempting me? It could be. Or you might be avoiding the sacraments because you're afraid of facing God right now. That's for you to know though, not me. Lastly my wife is Mexican and her mom believes in Santeria, I feel its not part of the church and is evil but if she does stuff for me will that hurt my prayers? That stuff is to be avoided, and you're smart to realize that. Don't ask her to 'do' anything for you, and don't accept any good luck charms or anything like that. And is there a certain prayer I should be praying? Divine Mercy Chaplet might be a good start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Nihil Obstat thank you so much for your responses. They actually made me tear up. I really need people right now. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Blind' timestamp='1300844623' post='2222515'] Nihil Obstat thank you so much for your responses. They actually made me tear up. I really need people right now. Thank you. [/quote] I will pray for you. I forgot to tell you, good luck. This sounds like a brutal decision to make. I don't know if you have or not, but make sure you've taken advantage of confession. Then you'll really have done your best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'll pray for you, definitely. You're setting a great example for your kids. If only my father had done the same, perhaps things would have been different with my brother. Prayers and best of luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Audrey I am not sure of your story but we will probably share sometime in the near future. Thanks for your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Remember that even Jesus asked his Father to allow him to avoid the crucifixion. It's okay to ask. It's just that sometimes God says no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 No matter what you have done, no matter what happens, focus your eyes on Jesus. He loves you and will give you the strength to get through your trials. Take up your cross and follow him. Ask for mercy and it will be given, though maybe not in the way that will make your path pain free. Read Heb 12 about the love of a father who disciplines his children. Any trials we go through, especially if self inflicted are because God loves us dearly and disciplines us. You are in my prayers. Heb 12: [4] In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. [5] And have you forgotten the exhortation which addresses you as sons? -- "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him. [6] For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." [7] It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? [8] If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. [9] Besides this, we have had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? [10] For they disciplined us for a short time at their pleasure, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. [11] For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. [12] Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, [13] and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 We're all praying for you. God's Will be done and God Bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 thank you all so much. i am going to read the passage and meditate on it tonight. thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Prayers for you. May the Lord continue to walk with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Thank you HB and I hope your trip goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I will be praying for you and your family. May God give you[and your family] the strength and courage to endure the consequences of your actions. Go to confession, receive absolution and go and sin no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1300890279' post='2222646'] I will be praying for you and your family. May God give you[and your family] the strength and courage to endure the consequences of your actions. Go to confession, receive absolution and go and sin no more. [/quote] if it was only that easy...lol. But thanks for your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I will certainly pray for you! And I agree with what has already been said...don't give up. keep praying get to confession as soon as you can..it will help you to have strength I know when I am very stressed, or if I am very afraid that I've done something wrong and someone is going to find out shortly I have a hard time praying too, just keep on going, even if you are too emotionally distraught to feel comforted by it, God is with you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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