Female Discerners, Answer Me This

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1300729658' post='2222097']
Agreed. It is my opinion that bikinis are immodest. I don't want to get into a whole discussion on modesty, because that's not the original purpose of this thread, but I especially don't think it's befitting of a future spouse of Jesus Christ to wear such things, and if I ever have daughters I would never let them wear one!
[/quote]

iawtc

I hate going to the beach and seeing all the teenage girls dressed in skimpy bikinis. The last time I went, there was a girl who nearly lost hers because the string was coming loose.

I think it's unnecessary to wear such things when there are much more feminine choices available. I was looking at the swimsuits that a store near me was selling and they had some very nice, modest swimwear options for a good price. I've worn the same swimsuit for several years because I cannot find one that is made as well, but I think I'm going to have to replace it soon. It's an empire waist swimdress suit and I love it because it has a built-in bra and the legs are cut modestly. It doesn't show too much skin and I feel comfortable in it. I bought it from JCPenney.

I've always been a modest dresser from the time I was a small child. I don't feel comfortable showing too much skin. I hate see-through clothing, especially sheer white tops. I always feel the need to dress feminine, but modestly. I don't wear shirts that show cleavage. I hardly ever wear shorts, but if I do, they are to the knee or below. I also don't wear thong underwear. How that fad got started, I'll never know! Why would anyone want to give themself a wedgie on purpose? Plus, a lot of times when women wear those style undies, they wear sheer pantaloons that leave nothing to the imagination. I'm quite happy being a prude. I think being too modest is a heck of a lot better than immodest.

[Cherie]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300731657' post='2222106']
I'm quite happy being a prude. I think being too modest is a heck of a lot better than immodest.
[/quote]

I agree, and I can imagine Our Lord is happy with that line of thinking; I would rather be too careful in NOT offending God, than be not-so-careful in offending Him! (Most of those in the world are not careful about what they do that might offend Him; I think we should be set apart, and I'd want to err on the side of caution.) Our Lady of Fatima warned there would be many fashions that would offend Our Lord, and I think we are definitely living in the midst of them!

[emilier98]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300731657' post='2222106']

I think it's unnecessary to wear such things when there are much more feminine choices available. I was looking at the swimsuits that a store near me was selling and they had some very nice, modest swimwear options for a good price. I've worn the same swimsuit for several years because I cannot find one that is made as well, but I think I'm going to have to replace it soon. It's an empire waist swimdress suit and I love it because it has a built-in bra and the legs are cut modestly. It doesn't show too much skin and I feel comfortable in it. I bought it from JCPenney.
I also don't wear thong underwear. How that fad got started, I'll never know! Why would anyone want to give themself a wedgie on purpose? Plus, a lot of times when women wear those style undies, they wear sheer pantaloons that leave nothing to the imagination. I'm quite happy being a prude. I think being too modest is a heck of a lot better than immodest.
[/quote]

As for swimsuits, Speedo makes one with modestly cut legs and a built in bra. Yes it is a Speedo and costs a bit more but they last forever.

I too have never understood thongs. They are super uncomfortable. I really just do not get it. I also don't understand the super low cut jeans that show off said thong and everything else. I like my normal boot cut jeans that are tailored for women, don't show anything and are comfy. Girls are weird.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1300751631' post='2222184']
I agree, and I can imagine Our Lord is happy with that line of thinking; I would rather be too careful in NOT offending God, than be not-so-careful in offending Him! (Most of those in the world are not careful about what they do that might offend Him; I think we should be set apart, and I'd want to err on the side of caution.) Our Lady of Fatima warned there would be many fashions that would offend Our Lord, and I think we are definitely living in the midst of them!
[/quote]


[quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1300751791' post='2222186']
As for swimsuits, Speedo makes one with modestly cut legs and a built in bra. Yes it is a Speedo and costs a bit more but they last forever.

I too have never understood thongs. They are super uncomfortable. I really just do not get it. I also don't understand the super low cut jeans that show off said thong and everything else. I like my normal boot cut jeans that are tailored for women, don't show anything and are comfy. Girls are weird.
[/quote]

I've been looking at swimsuits a lot after writing my previous post because it occurred to me that I'm probably going to have to buy a new suit if I want to go swimming this summer. I haven't been swimming in a while and I really want to. I found a really nice, good value swimdress in my size from Walmart of all places! It's very feminine and modest and only $32!

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Suddenly-Slim-by-Catalina-Women-s-Plus-Floral-Swimdress/15735441

I did see a very nice plus-sized Speedo swimsuit for not very much. I think it was about $60 which is pretty good for the brand.

[Catherine Therese]

I'm another jeans / track pant_s/ slacks / cargo pant_s / long shorts girl.

I'll very occasionally wear skirts but I don't like to for five reasons:

1. I have fat legs that rub together which is unpleasant and uncomfortable
2. I always feel... sort exposed in a skirt, even longer ones. I feel like if I fell then I'd be on display for the world to see. No worry like that in pant_s.
3. pant_s more are comfortable AND functional... and they don't have to be immodest (I wouldn't wear any pant_s that were too tight, too short or too low. Even if my sense of modestly allowed it - I don't have the legs for it!! :D)
4. Generally, nice skirts mean nice shoes... and nice shoes ALWAYS hurt. Not worth it.
5. I'm just not that good at fashion. There is a bit of an expectation that 'girly girls' who wear skirts and dresses all the time are also very fashion-conscious or at least have an impeccable sense of personal style. I fit into neither category. If I wear pant_s, people don't have the expectation that I'm 'good' at fashion. Less anxiety all round.

Give me function over form any day.

I will, however, wear a religious habit when I'm given one, and I'll learn to love it. A big adjustment - I'll be given the grace to make the adjustment when required. Until then... well, I'm not required to do so yet, and CLEARLY haven't been given the grace to do so yet. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img]


<Updated: why in heck is pant_s changed to pantaloons automatically? I KNOW some gals prefer skirts but surely the view of the alternative hasn't turned said alternative into a swear word?!?!>

Edited March 22, 2011 by Catherine Therese

[Cherie]

[quote name='Catherine Therese' timestamp='1300795340' post='2222292']
<Updated: why in heck is pant_s changed to pantaloons automatically? I KNOW some gals prefer skirts but surely the view of the alternative hasn't turned said alternative into a swear word?!?!>
[/quote]

No, just a fun little "quirk" of Phatmass ... like "tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you," ...

[Lisa]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1300796343' post='2222293']
No, just a fun little "quirk" of Phatmass ... like "tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you," ...
[/quote]

and a.wesome becomes amesome. I thought I had typos everytime I posted something.

edited for typos.

Edited March 22, 2011 by Lisa

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Catherine Therese' timestamp='1300795340' post='2222292']
5. I'm just not that good at fashion. There is a bit of an expectation that 'girly girls' who wear skirts and dresses all the time are also very fashion-conscious or at least have an impeccable sense of personal style. I fit into neither category. If I wear pant_s, people don't have the expectation that I'm 'good' at fashion. Less anxiety all round.

Give me function over form any day.
[/quote]
It sounds to me like that might be something YOU expect, not necessarily that others expect. That is definitely not my experience.

Re: function over form
Stacy London comes instantly to mind.

[Amy G.]

Hi ladies!

This post reminded me of something I experienced in college. (It's not 100% related, but it does deal with modesty). I was trying to get one of my friends to come to a campus ministry event with me. But she declined, saying that she couldn't relate to many of the girls who attend, and some of them came across as judgemental. She said that one girl had told her 'the shirt you're wearing I would only ever wear as an undershirt.' Later the same girl who said this admitted that she really didn't like her own body, she wasn't comfortable in her own skin, and this is why she covers up. She said that she can focus on the spiritual - and her body is just a burden to the spiritual life anyway.

I thought I'd share that anecdote for a couple reasons. First of all I think it helps clarify what true modesty is about (by means of a counter example) - we dress modestly because we know that our bodies are beautiful gifts from God...so out of reverence to God and respect of ourselves and others, we dress in a way befitting this wonderful gift. I think it's so easy for us women to dislike our own bodies, and think we should just forget about our bodies in order to focus on what is spiritual. But in this life, our soul takes the form of our body. In baptism, our bodies become temples of the Holy Spirit...and we also believe in bodily resurrection ('with my own eyes I will look upon my God' - I forget the exact scriptural passage!). Unlike certain Protestant groups (Calvinists, etc.) we as Catholics celebrate the human body because it is so good! The female body is an especially beautiful image of God - I remember one of my professors telling my class about the Eucharistic symbolism of a woman breast feeding her infant - she holds her baby to her breast and says 'take and eat, this is my body...take and drink, this is my blood.' Our Mother Mary, through the gift of her feminine body, brought our Lord into the world! She wouldn't be ashamed of the breasts that fed Him, nor would she scorn the womb that bore Him. (This, by the way, is why the radical feminist movement is truly anti-woman!! We shouldn't become the same as men! We can be [i]equal[/i] to men, while not being the [i]same[/i] as them!!) Mary dressed simply and modestly in order to reverently cover the amazing gift of her feminine body. (I know you guys all know this...I'm just trying to reiterate [i]why [/i]we dress modestly as Catholic women...just because I was sad to hear from my friend about the girl I mentioned above not liking her own body). I applaud women who dress modestly! I just think we need to remember why we dress in this way, and also deeply appreciate how beautiful we are! It is not vain to thank God for the gift of our body and be happy for this gift. (Ok, I think I'm done with the rant... )

Secondly, I was struck by the fact that my friend felt she couldn't relate to some of the other Catholic girls on campus because of the way they dressed, and felt judged by them because of the way she dressed. Unfortunately - especially in high school and college - a lot of attention is focused on what people wear. A large part of the reason my friend found these girls 'unapproachable' or 'unrelatable' was because they weren't dressed like everyone else. (Personally, I think it is entirely possible to dress very modestly and still look completely 'normal,' but that's beside the point)! She didn't know them well, but immediately felt this way because of their clothes. And some of the girls (or at least the one who said something about the shirt) were focused on how my friend was dressed as well. I think it's important to set a good example for all women by dressing modestly because of our gratitude and reverence for our beautiful God-given bodies. But it can be very easy to look down on other people who don't dress modestly. I remember one theology class I had (which was full of seminarians, priests and nuns) - there was also a young lay woman in this class. I found myself immediately sizing her up based on her outfit, and how I thought it wasn't appropriate. It is true that she wasn't dressed very modestly. But it is also true that I was so focused on how she was dressed that I was not looking at this woman in her entirety - in her personhood - in light of the fact that she is precious to God. I should have been interested in getting to know her as a person. And how could my example of modesty be a source of grace for this woman to perhaps reconsider her own style of dress if I didn't allow for this flow of grace because of my pride and judgement?

I think that we, as Catholic women, are called to act and dress in a certain way. I just think we should remember that we do this not out of unhappiness with our own bodies, but out of reverence to God and love for the great gift our bodies. And when we dress modestly for the right reasons, God may use us as[i] humble[/i] vehicles to display to others the image of dignified, uncheapened, true femininity.

[OnlySunshine]

Important point, Amy G. Sadly, I used to get teased and picked-on in junior high and high school because I didn't wear the kind of clothes that were considered "fashionable." I've always been about comfort, whether or not it's in style. I never liked the clothes that I saw at the store, either because they didn't fit me or because I thought they were too revealing. I admit that I have always been somewhat overweight and so I don't have the sort of figure that fits most clothes on the market today. But even if I did, I wouldn't choose most of the stuff available. Fortunately, I have options to choose from like Lane Bryant and Avenue who clothe plus sized women in style. I love shopping at Avenue because, unlike Lane Bryant, their stuff is reasonably priced and very stylish. I bought a few shirts there recently and they hold up pretty well.

I believe that modesty in women is very feminine--not because we are ashamed of our bodies, but because we want to glorify God and give Him suitable Tabernacles for the Holy Spirit. It's true that it isn't 100% about what you wear. You could be the worst Christian in the world and still dress modestly, but I think it's a good starting point. When I look at pictures of Mary, I want to dress just like her. She was simple and gorgeous and God made her the Mother of our Savior!

You can dress modestly without being frumpy, too. Too often, I hear young girls talking about how all the clothes that are not in style are frumpy or ugly. You don't have to look like a "bag lady" to be modest. Just look at these pictures:

[img]http://www.latterdaybride.com/community/images/clothing.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.hannahlise.com/images/non-storefront/skirts-grl.jpg[/img] [img]http://www.downeastbasics.com/images/products/detail/MAR11_sundaybest_smokeygrape0905.jpg[/img]

[1catholic]

[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]1. What is your typical (day to day) attire?[/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]skinny jeans and sweaters[/size][/font][/color]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="5"][color="#595959"][size=2]dresses to church
[/size][/color][/size][/font][color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]
2. Have you always dressed this way?[/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]no [/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"] [/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]3. Did discernment change the way you viewed your dress?[/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]yes[/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]
4. How many of you wear pantaloons? [/size][/font][/color]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][color="#595959"][size="4"]no[/size][/color][/size][/font]

Edited March 24, 2011 by 1catholic

[InPersonaChriste]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1300473186' post='2221559']
Hey ladies!

I have a very worldly question for y'all - errr, more like three or four.

1. What is your typical (day to day) attire?
2. Have you always dressed this way?
3. Did discernment change the way you viewed your dress?
4. How many of you wear pantaloons?

[/quote]

1. I wear a lot of blues. Jeans or skirts, whatever is clean :D
2. Yes
3. Not really, but for a couple of weeks i tried head coverings, and i love them. In Mass i have my head covered and every once in a while I cover my head at home.
4. Yes.. But they aren't flared :D just black

[MargaretTeresa]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1300473186' post='2221559']
Hey ladies!

I have a very worldly question for y'all - errr, more like three or four.

1. What is your typical (day to day) attire?
2. Have you always dressed this way?
3. Did discernment change the way you viewed your dress?
4. How many of you wear pantaloons?

[/quote]

I usually wear jeans and t-shirts, unless I have to dress-up or am working out. When dressing up, I usually have some nice top with a cardigan over it unless I'm wearing a dress. All of my dresses are at least at the knee. This is part modesty, part vanity. (I have HUGE thighs)
Anything low cut usually gets a camisole under it. Yes, I have always dressed this way. I've always dressed modestly simply because my mom raised me that way and it looks better on my body type.
I had to look up pantaloons just to make sure you were talking about what I thought. No, I don't.

Pax and God bless.

[Chapel Rat]

1) Business causal for work and t-shirt and jeans on the weekend.

2) Before my discernment, I had a closet full of clothes, jackets and coats in every color and cut. I wore bright colors, animal print, and wasn't afraid of bright lipstick I wore high heels all the time, when I switched to flats...people told me they didn't realize how short I was . I used to "window shop" online during my lunch and during class (throw things in "my cart" and then cancel it).

3) Discernment totally showed me how wordly, superficial and self-centered I had become. I saw how attached I was when I donated all my clothes, when I couldn't part with my red patent leather shoes. I saw how much of my identity I had placed on these supericial things that the best thing I ever did was get rid of them. When I stopped giving out fashion advice or speaking about fashion, some of my friends said that I wasn't acting like myself and they felt that I was "destroying" myself.They thought I was .

4) No pantaloons

[Chamomile]

Just for the record, the Phatmass f.ilter translates p.ants - jeans, slacks, etc. - as pantaloons. So the OP wasn't really asking if we wore those but actual p.ants.

Unless I am really mistaken and confused....

Anyways, now that I take it into account, I'm probably about 50/50 on wearing p.ants and skirts, usually choosing jeans for practical reasons.