Meeting With Priest Tomorrow!

[franciscanheart]

MM, it can be REALLY hard to be without a spiritual director, especially when you really want one and have tried hard to find a good one! I also know how frustrating it can be to not have a priest available to you. Be courageous, be faithful, be strong. God is still present and will show Himself to you in due time. Your true vocation is written on your heart. Quiet time with God our Father can be difficult when all we want is an answer! I know this all too well. Take care to heed his commands and He will not forsake you. My 2x4 came about 12 years after my initial "pull" was recognized. TWELVE YEARS! Be assured of my continued prayers for you, your discernment, and your peace. I love you!

p.s. "The depth of our anxiety is a measure of our distance from God." (That was carved into a piece of wood in Honduras. A friend of mine snapped a picture of it so she wouldn't forget. It's never left my mind.)

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1300306610' post='2221233']
MM, it can be REALLY hard to be without a spiritual director, especially when you really want one and have tried hard to find a good one! I also know how frustrating it can be to not have a priest available to you. Be courageous, be faithful, be strong. God is still present and will show Himself to you in due time. Your true vocation is written on your heart. Quiet time with God our Father can be difficult when all we want is an answer! I know this all too well. Take care to heed his commands and He will not forsake you. My 2x4 came about 12 years after my initial "pull" was recognized. TWELVE YEARS! Be assured of my continued prayers for you, your discernment, and your peace. I love you!
[/quote]

I feel rather envious of those who have more resources in their diocese than mine. Mine seems to focus only on helping men become priests. Spiritual directors are extremely hard to find! Even the Sister that Father recommended today is difficult to contact because her information on the diocesan website is out-of-date. They still have her information from when she was working at a Church, but she's retired now. I see her email address, so I'm going to try to get in touch with her that way, but I don't know how much luck I'll have.

I also mentioned to Father in our meeting how I think it would really benefit to have a group for those who are discerning vocations. He actually has planned to form one, but he hasn't hashed out the details yet. I'd love to be a part of one if it is made. I believe fellowship amongst discerners is SO important!

Franciscanheart, what you wrote helps. Sometimes I forget that I need to stop worrying so much and just trust God to lead the way rather than busily trying to find the answers when he isn't ready to give them yet. I have a tendency to get ahead of myself. Before, I thought I didn't need a spiritual director and now I don't see how I could be without one. They are so valuable, like gold. But I have been reading about what St. Teresa of Avila said that it is better to be without a spiritual director than one that is not faithful to the Church. I will be praying extra hard for God to lead me to the right one. Thanks again.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300307028' post='2221236']
I feel rather envious of those who have more resources in their diocese than mine. Mine seems to focus only on helping men become priests. Spiritual directors are extremely hard to find! Even the Sister that Father recommended today is difficult to contact because her information on the diocesan website is out-of-date. They still have her information from when she was working at a Church, but she's retired now. I see her email address, so I'm going to try to get in touch with her that way, but I don't know how much luck I'll have.

I also mentioned to Father in our meeting how I think it would really benefit to have a group for those who are discerning vocations. He actually has planned to form one, but he hasn't hashed out the details yet. I'd love to be a part of one if it is made. I believe fellowship amongst discerners is SO important!

Franciscanheart, what you wrote helps. Sometimes I forget that I need to stop worrying so much and just trust God to lead the way rather than busily trying to find the answers when he isn't ready to give them yet. I have a tendency to get ahead of myself. Before, I thought I didn't need a spiritual director and now I don't see how I could be without one. They are so valuable, like gold. But I have been reading about what St. Teresa of Avila said that it is better to be without a spiritual director than one that is not faithful to the Church. I will be praying extra hard for God to lead me to the right one. Thanks again.
[/quote]
I can understand your frustration. I live in pretty large diocese; you would think there would be more easily accessible resources for women than there are. Even for me, finding the right resources took time and patience. I found my SD through a PHATMASSER who doesn't even hail from my diocese! Yeah. Haha!

Squeezes!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1300307292' post='2221237']
I can understand your frustration. I live in pretty large diocese; you would think there would be more easily accessible resources for women than there are. Even for me, finding the right resources took time and patience. I found my SD through a PHATMASSER who doesn't even hail from my diocese! Yeah. Haha!

Squeezes!
[/quote]

LOL! Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to have contact with someone who is not in my diocese as a long-distance spiritual director. One of the priests I was in contact mentioned this idea to me and said that his was 2 hours away at one point. The only problem is, I have no idea who to contact.

[MargaretTeresa]

Continuing to pray for you! Very excited about how you meeting went. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img] Hope to get to talk to my pastor about spiritual directors soon!

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300307465' post='2221239']
LOL! Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to have contact with someone who is not in my diocese as a long-distance spiritual director. One of the priests I was in contact mentioned this idea to me and said that his was 2 hours away at one point. The only problem is, I have no idea who to contact.
[/quote]
Something I did not do but should have done: Think of or search for any faithful religious orders near you. My last meeting with my spiritual director had me on the road for about a half hour, but there are more great religious within an hour or hour and a half of my home. Many times getting a religious priest to be your spiritual director is easier than a diocesan priest (for obvious reasons). (Though, I admit, I often thought this would be opposite reality.) Sometimes the trek is long but you might be able to work out only driving the distance every other meeting, maybe once a month or every two months, depending on what "regular" means to you.

[krissylou]

Other ideas:

-- any retreat centers near you that you respect? Often retreat centers have spiritual direction as "sidelines" even if they don't advertise it.
-- same with monasteries. (I wouldn't bother calling, say, the Brooklyn Carmel, but for communities that aren't quite THAT cloistered, it could be well worthwhile to call up and ask if this is something they do. Often it is, although they don't advertise.)
-- or that can be a "less intense" ministry that active religious can "retire" to.
-- (or of course it can be a ministry that active religious who aren't semi-retired do just fine!)

An SD doesn't need to be a priest. A woman religious (again, from a community that you respect) could be a great fit. Or a trained layperson. (Lots of laypeople have intensive training in spiritual direction, similar to a master's degree. If it were me, I'd prioritize a layperson who has pursued such training over a busy diocesean priest who may be a wonderful, holy man but doesn't have much training or experience in spiritual direction in particular.) The important thing is finding a fit FOR YOU. And if deep in your soul you need a priest in order to feel that "fit" well then grand. Do that. But if not, it could be worth while stretching out and experimenting. Maybe God has a surprise for you!

Some people like to have their spiritual directors also serve as their confessors, and then of course the SD needs to be a priest. Some people think that having your SD also be your confessor is a BAD plan. I think in some old monasteries the tradition was that your SD and your confessor had to be different people, as each of them was going to have a significant influence over you and if that was combined in the same person there was too much potential for abuse.

There is Spiritual Directors International [url="http://www.sdiworld.org"]www.sdiworld.org[/url] -- which can be a place to START. It is VERY wideranging, not necessarily Christian, much less Catholic, and there are plenty of people listed there who would NOT be a good fit. (I met once with someone who said that if she hadn't been born into a Catholic family she'd probably be Unitarian. ONCE is the operative word in that sentence. Didn't go back.) But there could be some who would be a fit. So use plenty of discretion, I am not at all making a blanket endorsement, but it could be worthwhile checking it out and seeing what listings are available in your area.

Good luck and prayers to you!

[Santa Cruz]

My SD is 4 hours away. He is a religious priest, rather than diocesan. I would recommend getting a priest who is skilled in Spiritual Direction for sure. There is a great book by Thomas Dubay, "Seeking Spiritual Direction". I found that very helpful.

I am praying for you.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1300308925' post='2221243']
Something I did not do but should have done: Think of or search for any faithful religious orders near you. My last meeting with my spiritual director had me on the road for about a half hour, but there are more great religious within an hour or hour and a half of my home. Many times getting a religious priest to be your spiritual director is easier than a diocesan priest (for obvious reasons). (Though, I admit, I often thought this would be opposite reality.) Sometimes the trek is long but you might be able to work out only driving the distance every other meeting, maybe once a month or every two months, depending on what "regular" means to you.
[/quote]

Unfortunately, the only real religious order in my area that I have had contact with is not recommended by my priest because of some incidents that have happened over the past year. In fact, I knew of all of them, so I wouldn't feel comfortable selecting someone from their order when they seem to be going through a crisis right now. Some of the Sisters in the order did things of a very questionable and scandalous nature. I've met them a few times beforehand and before all this happened, one of my seminary friends recommended them to me, but their phone and email didn't work. My priest said that he thought it would be a very good idea to stay away from them while they get things sorted out, and I agree.

I honestly don't know of any others besides the Daughters of Charity. The one Sister that has been recommended several times is from an order I'm unfamiliar with, but I know that she is VERY difficult to find as I said her information is all out-of-date. I may have to call the diocesan vocation office or email them sometime this week to see if they can get her updated information.

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1300313237' post='2221266']
My SD is 4 hours away. He is a religious priest, rather than diocesan. I would recommend getting a priest who is skilled in Spiritual Direction for sure. There is a great book by Thomas Dubay, "Seeking Spiritual Direction". I found that very helpful.

I am praying for you.
[/quote]

LOL, I actually was looking through my old books and discovered that I bought that book a while back and never read it! I think that is going to be the first book I read for spiritual reading. I still have the book that Fr. Andrew Apostoli gave to us at the CFR retreat called, "When God Asks For An Undivided Heart." I've read a little bit of it already and it's very good.

I wish, however, that I hadn't gotten rid of one book called, "Religious Vocation: An Unnecessary Mystery." It's by a Dominican friar and it's supposed to be really good. I bought it from TAN books, but I think I sold it to a used bookstore a few months ago. I may have to locate another copy on Amazon.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300317282' post='2221282']
I wish, however, that I hadn't gotten rid of one book called, "Religious Vocation: An Unnecessary Mystery." It's by a Dominican friar and it's supposed to be really good. I bought it from TAN books, but I think I sold it to a used bookstore a few months ago. I may have to locate another copy on Amazon.
[/quote]

This is an [i]excellent[/i] book. It provides a clear Thomistic explanation of the religious vocation and helps sift through some of the issues that make discernment difficult in our day in age.

I can't recommend this book enough for folks who are currently discerning.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1300318570' post='2221284']
This is an [i]excellent[/i] book. It provides a clear Thomistic explanation of the religious vocation and helps sift through some of the issues that make discernment difficult in our day in age.

I can't recommend this book enough for folks who are currently discerning.
[/quote]

I really am irritated with myself for getting rid of that book, but at the time, I didn't think I'd ever discern again.

I'm also thinking of locating a copy of "And You Are Christ's." I've heard that is an excellent book as well for discerners.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1300318828' post='2221285']
I really am irritated with myself for getting rid of that book, but at the time, I didn't think I'd ever discern again.

I'm also thinking of locating a copy of "And You Are Christ's." I've heard that is an excellent book as well for discerners.
[/quote]

Haha-- I had almost suggested that book in my latest post! [i]And You Are Christ's[/i] is another great one. Those two books are the ones I always recommend to those who are discerning.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1300320026' post='2221286']
Haha-- I had almost suggested that book in my latest post! [i]And You Are Christ's[/i] is another great one. Those two books are the ones I always recommend to those who are discerning.
[/quote]

Great minds think alike, don't they?