Trying To Keep Things Together

[eustace scrubb]

I've been feeling paralyzed by stress lately.

- I have like ten things to do at the same time for work. ASAP.
- I was sick for a month (still recovering, actually...), so I'm behind on cleaning and things are a complete mess. Haven't done laundry in awhile and it's like a mile to the closest laundromat. I don't have the energy to deal with that. I need people to help me with it...
- My cat has fleas. This means having to do even more of the above... : (
- Found out that my electric company has been making me pay for my neighbors' electricity for the past... year or more. When I found out, I finally took action on it and things are moving in the right direction now.
- Having a lot of trouble keeping up on refills with my medication. : (
- Haven't been able to move forward with RCIA because of illness.
- Low on energy and spread too thin.
- Computer problems!!!!!!!!!
- My supermarket closed down and there aren't any nearby on a bus line. There's one that sort of is, but they've been cited repeatedly for mice, cockroaches, ants, and... rats... ugh!!!!!! I have to get rides to keep up on top of things.
- Have been using food to cope with all of this.
- I've always had poor self-discipline, partly because I grew up poor and well... that's just one of the things that people living under the poverty line in America struggle with. I don't expect many of you to understand that and I was hesitant to mention it because of that. Please do not give me glib, blunt, cliche, or pat advice on that. You don't overcome thirty years of that quickly...
- While I'm glad I'm finally developing community with other Catholics (especially those my own age), I'm very beaten down emotionally and scarred from several recent experiences with other Christians. I had to completely cut ties with a number of people and even block them on my phone and facebook. The betrayal was crushing and I'm still in a lot of pain from it. There are others who've gone (or are going) through this from the same group of people, too. The emotional, mental, and spiritual fatigue and pain resulting from it has left many of us too tired to do anything about it and some people left the faith partly due to that... : (
- Someone who is never even around me or has even gone to my workplace is slandering me heavily online in regards to my work at the store.
- Have been pretty judgmental lately.
- Staying inside too much. It's not good for my mental health. And I've been lonely.
- Who knows what else. I can't keep track and typing up all of this is depressing.

I'm in need of God's protection, strength, comfort, peace, love, hope, joy, self-discipline, and the ability to better deal with stress. [b]The biggest thing with all of this is that I've been trying do this almost entirely on my own strength.[/b] While I've been mostly faithful with reading the Daily Missal, I've only prayed the rosary like once in two months or more and rarely intercede for people...

[i]Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner...[/i]