Theresita Nerita Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 So today I was walking into mass and this man says to me from the shadows inside the nave, "Can you give me something to get something to eat?" I looked through my wallet and only had a 20. I usually give dollars if i have singles. But i only had a 20!! I spent all of Mass thinking - should i go drop a 20 on him?? He'll probably use it to buy two dimes... but he could buy a nice dinner! Also I felt extra guilty cause I had just gotten a great new freelance gig out of nowhere today. So, although I still think of myself as a starving artist, I'm actually not starving at all anymore and have no excuse to be a tightwad. Questions: Do you agree that it would have been more perfect to give him the 20 ? Why or why not? What would you have done? What do you usually do when asked for money by homeless people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruce Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 [quote name='Theresita Nerita' timestamp='1298342419' post='2214540'] So today I was walking into mass and this man says to me from the shadows inside the nave, "Can you give me something to get something to eat?" I looked through my wallet and only had a 20. I usually give dollars if i have singles. But i only had a 20!! I spent all of Mass thinking - should i go drop a 20 on him?? He'll probably use it to buy two dimes... but he could buy a nice dinner! Also I felt extra guilty cause I had just gotten a great new freelance gig out of nowhere today. So, although I still think of myself as a starving artist, I'm actually not starving at all anymore and have no excuse to be a tightwad. Questions: Do you agree that it would have been more perfect to give him the 20 ? Why or why not? What would you have done? What do you usually do when asked for money by homeless people? [/quote] Bleh. I once gave a homeless guy $10 and then after I'd done that he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked if I also had a lighter he could use. It made me regret giving him money at all. My high school principal once suggested offering to buy them some food from a near by take out place rather than just giving them cash which could likely go towards alcohol, drugs or tobacco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havok579257 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 If you ask people who work with the homeless, they will tell you never to give money. There are lots of reasons, but the two biggest are that when you give them money, they can start to think they are entitled to it, and can get violent to the next person who says no, and giving them money puts off them hitting rock bottom. You basically delay for the time that money lasts them having to ask for help. You are enabling them to stay homeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chamomile Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Give food. Like was already said, offer to buy them something from somewhere nearby. I also think gift cards to places like McDonalds are a good idea. Or - as a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal once told me when I posed this question to him - you can carry around protein/meal/snack bars to hand out. People who are hungry will not refuse these and will often be very grateful! And you can always pray for them. Sometimes the prayer is actually what they need. I'm not saying this as an excuse to avoid helping someone, but if you can't give something materially, for whatever reason, you can always say a Hail Mary or offer up a Mass for that person I don't think you should worry about not giving him the money and instead just take it as a lesson to be prepared next time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I have no doubt Catherine is correct. When I volunteered in Guatemala, we were under strict orders by the parish to never give money to beggars. We were to send them to the parish. (For the most part, the beggars knew that rule already and left the gringos alone for the most part) that being said, I've been in a similar situation and i gave the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 [quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1298344829' post='2214549'] Give food. ... Or - as a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal once told me when I posed this question to him - you can carry around protein/meal/snack bars to hand out. People who are hungry will not refuse these and will often be very grateful! ... [/quote] I was going to say exactly this. Offering food to those who are hungry is never an insignificant gesture and they never refuse. And we should always pray for God's beloved poor. I can't imagine being homeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) If this had happened to me, And if it was by coincident that I only had a twenty, but had gotten a job recently, and I was really irked by my conscience to, I would have given him the 20. I say this because sometimes God tests us to see if we obey. For example: I am discerning the priesthood and my parish can sometimes be in need of alter servers(those who can be discerning the priesthood) and so I offered to my pastor that if he should ever need it, I am always available for the job. I felt really irked to tell him this but I had to build up the courage to do so. I felt that God wanted me to tell him this. He ended up not needing me at that time, and i began to question my calling. I talked to my SD and he gave me some advice: "sometimes God has us do things, not for the results, but just to see if we obeyed; to test us." Get what I'm saying? Not that I'm one to be teaching, haha. Ive only started learning myself. lol. Edited February 22, 2011 by BigJon16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 My mom works in an area where the homeless are rampant. There are several of them hanging out at street corners, waiting for someone to walk by so they can ask for money. Some of them have mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, and can be verbally abusive. When my mom first started working there, I feared for her safety because she would come home with stories of terrible encounters. She witnessed one of the homeless following a person around after they gave them money and the next day, there were more at that very same spot because they thought that if one person got some money, then they all could. My mom refuses to carry her purse with her anywhere because if they see you with it, they will pester you for money and won't take no for an answer. I also don't take mine with me when I visit her and we go to lunch. If someone approaches her asking for money, she tells them that she donates to the homeless shelter (which is true) and directs them to it, which is only a few blocks away. I remember when I was little, I was shopping with my mom, grandmother, and little sister, and a homeless man approached us saying he had just jumped off a train and had nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat. My mom and grandmother were very nervous about him approaching them with two children and my grandmother took him aside and asked him if she could buy him something to eat from Wendy's instead of giving him cash. They walked over to the restaurant and she bought him a hamburger, fries, and a drink. He was grateful. My grandmother said she could smell alcohol on his breath and his face was really flushed like he had been drinking recently, so she didn't want to give him money to fuel his alcoholism. I remember once when I was shopping and I pulled into the parking lot of the store. There was a homeless man standing at the entrance with a sign asking for money. When I left the store, I decided to give him a bottle of water since it was boiling hot and he looked really thirsty. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed a car stopped in front of him and the passengers gave him a mini pizza from Pizza Hut. When I gave him the water, you could tell he was relieved because he was really hungry and thirsty. However, I had to wait at the stop light and he talked to me and said that someone had given him a pack of cigarettes and did I have a lighter? I am not a smoker, so I didn't have one. I was glad that I only gave him a water and no money. Cigarettes, in my opinion, are not necessary. I am of the opinion that it is important to help the homeless, but there is no need to risk our lives in the process. Giving money is never a good idea, but giving food is. Food is necessary for survival while money is not. It is important to exercise common sense in these situations and if you feel threatened, leave immediately and find a police officer. Never feel like you are obligated to give them something if you feel like your life is in danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 It's the aggressive ones here that scare me. I've been sitting in a parking lot waiting for my husband, and had them come up to me, and stick their head in the window. Once I was trapped next to an ATM machine. I'm not exactly the type to get intimidated easily, so can just imagine if they did the same thing to an elderly person. We had a couple of well publicized incidents in this part of the country. There was a man attending daily mass in Vancouver, who gave $5 to a homeless man every day coming out of mass. One day, the homeless man decided it wasn't enough, and robbed and killed this older man right there in front of the church. That's when everyone started talking about aggressive panhandlers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I try to carry around food in my car for the purpose of handing to people who are hungry and begging. I've given out granola bars, Nutrigrain bars, fruit snacks, peanut butter crackers, chocolate bars, etc. Also more random things like candy canes or clementines, if that's what I had with me. My rule is that if I see someone begging, and I have something, I offer it. But not money. Money does not help their situation. They stand on the side of the road and beg because people will give them money, but that creates a whole host of problems. Jesus didn't tell us to give money to the hungry - he said to feed them. I mean, if someone needed change for a bus ticket or a laundromat or something, that would be different. But if they're just begging for money off a 'soft touch' like tourists, commuters or church-goers...then allowing ourselves to be duped does little to improve their lot in life. We can't get angry for being scammed if we allow ourselves to be taken in...at least, what I mean, is that con artists keep doing what they do because it works. I see the same people year after year standing on the same street corners. What does that say? Sometimes, I have the opportunity to duck into a place and buy food for them. A muffin, an apple, a sub, a cup of soup... I try to give out things I like. I'm not sure why, but I guess it's to prevent myself from giving 'second best' to someone who is homeless. I mean, I have given out squashed granola bars and melted fruit snacks...but they weren't things I wouldn't have eaten myself. In all cases, the people have been grateful and not picky. I am happy to share what I have, and I think that if I were in their position, I would be hungry and want the food. But no, I would not have given the $20. Not now. Maybe 10 years ago I would have, because I would have felt guilty about saying no. Of course, ten years ago I was also more likely to pick up a hitchhiker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theresita Nerita Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Big Jon, yeah that's exactly what I felt like ! couldn't have said it better. Yeah, my one homeless friend used to go back out on the street constantly because he was afraid of violence in the shelters - that's the only reason I feel like I can't pass people by. I probably wouldn't want to stay in a shelter - my friend told me horrible things he saw there... it's a quandary, but I think I'm definitely going to take the gift card suggestion. - also I realized today that the reason buying food was never high on my list of solutions was because I was too lazy to spend the five minutes! so maybe it would be even better training for me to actually take the time to buy food right there... thanks for all your help, everyone!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I give gift cards to Subway, etc. and will attach a coupon to help extend the purchasing power. Also, since I buy them through my parish's Manna program, my parish gets a financial cut of it as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sternhauser Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Theresita Nerita' timestamp='1298342419' post='2214540'] So today I was walking into mass and this man says to me from the shadows inside the nave, "Can you give me something to get something to eat?" I looked through my wallet and only had a 20. I usually give dollars if i have singles. But i only had a 20!! I spent all of Mass thinking - should i go drop a 20 on him?? He'll probably use it to buy two dimes... but he could buy a nice dinner! Also I felt extra guilty cause I had just gotten a great new freelance gig out of nowhere today. So, although I still think of myself as a starving artist, I'm actually not starving at all anymore and have no excuse to be a tightwad. Questions: Do you agree that it would have been more perfect to give him the 20 ? Why or why not? What would you have done? What do you usually do when asked for money by homeless people? [/quote] Mmmm. A $20 buys a lot of Hurricanes. What the others said: start carrying McDonald's gift cards or grocery store cards what won't let people buy booze. ~Sternhauser Edited February 23, 2011 by Sternhauser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 (edited) The way I approach these things when asked is I give what I can afford. I do not care what they use the money for, if it brings them some comfort or joy its money well spent. Sure cigarettes or booze can kill them, so can a chesseburger. The person asking has either no other way to make money, or they have given up on trying, either way if I can help them out I do. I hope that if I am ever in the same position I will get helped by a person who only thinks of helping me, not judging my intentions. ed Edited February 23, 2011 by Ed Normile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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