Vocation To The Single Life

[Chamomile]

I didn't want to derail the other thread specifically about an article focusing on the vocation to the single life, so I thought I would start this topic separately.

I've read that the vocation to the single life isn't a true vocation - that we are either called to marriage or religious life - and yet it's sometimes offered up in the prayers of the faithful during Mass in addition to asking God for an increase of vocations to priesthood and religious life, and there are definitely people who claim it as their God-given vocation and the article in the other thread has an Archbishop promoting it. So I'm just wondering....

What do you think about a vocation to the single life? What does it entail? My guess is that it would mean taking private vows to never marry, and of course perfect chastity, but I'm not sure if it would include poverty and obedience, too. It seems like it would also rule out the religious life or priesthood, since those are distinct vocations (by single life, I don't mean Consecrated Virginity, by the way). But then again, people leave the priesthood and religious life after making vows, so I guess one could also leave the vowed single life... ?

Is there a history in the Church of people who have discerned a vocation to the single life? What did they do to realize this vocation? How is it discerned? What is the theology and spirituality behind that?

Is anyone here discerning that call? Has anyone made vows to stay single? If so, what does that mean to you? What are the vows like and how binding are they compared to religious life? And why did you choose that instead of religious life or marriage?

I haven't seen the option of a vowed single life really offered in terms of discernment, and I have my own ideas as to why that is. But I'm curious as to what other people think about it and what their experiences are. If this is indeed a true vocation - a true call from God to live a certain way for Him - should we then encourage this option among children and the laity, especially those who suffer from same-sex attraction? What type of catechisis would this involve, and how would it affect what is already taught regarding vocation?

Thanks for your responses!

Pax et bonum!

[dominicansoul]

I'm sick of being single. I have begun a novena to St. Joseph to bring a holy man into my life. I think the "vocation to the single life" isn't a vocation at all, and if you are going to remain single by default, you need to get involved in some sort of "consecrated" living such as a third order, consecrated virginity, etc.

Others that choose to live that life I commend. I can't choose to live this life...I want out of singledom. It's best to be married than to be alone, at least in my opinion....

Edited February 16, 2011 by dominicansoul

[Sarah147]

I think the single life is a rough one. I may in the end have to live it, if my health issues keep me out of the Religious Life. I would then consider consecrated virginity, third order, etc. Or God just may bring someone into my life discerning a Josephite Marriage... Never know.

[OnlySunshine]

Even though I have continued to discern a call to marriage, I really wonder if I am called to remain single. I cannot, because of health issues, join a religious order, so that is out. When I think about being married, I am sometimes interested in it, but most of the time, I think I don't want to get married because I am not sure that having children is right for me. I've never had the patience to deal with them 100% of the time. Also, the career that I believe I am called to is one where I would be traveling a lot of the time and, for me, that is not really conducive to married life. I'm not ruling it out though. I have thought about it a lot, but I've never dated seriously. If I found a nice Catholic man to marry who was, perhaps, interested in the same career that I am interested in, then maybe it would work, but other than that, it could be very troublesome.

I don't know if I would be able to join a third order for the same reasons listed above. I don't think I would be in the country often enough to attend meetings. I am seriously considering moving to England or Africa when I finish college to start my career. I'm a biology/zoology major and my intended focus is on studying the habits and behaviors of the big cats in Africa. If I do, indeed, discern that I am called to remain single, I may make private vows, but that has yet to be decided and I still have plenty of time to discern.

I really don't know why some have such a problem with a vocation to the single life. I believe that some people are not called to consecrated or married life because of their circumstances--such as a mental condition, same-sex attraction, etc. I believe that the single life can, and should be, recognized as a valid vocation in the Church. But that is just my take on it.

Here is a website I found through Google:

http://www.catholicyouth.freeservers.com/vocations/single_life.htm

http://www.stbrigidofkildare.org/singlelife.htm

Edited February 16, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[TeresaBenedicta]

This can be a touchy issue and one that is very close to many people... so what I say is not meant to be an attack on any person, nor is meant to offend.

I'm personally of the opinion that one is never called specifically to the single life. It is a transitory state of life; not something to which one is called. A person my remain single by choice or by circumstance. Individual circumstances may require one to remain single, but that is not a norm nor is it considered by the Church as a vocation properly defined. These persons are not abandoned by God or Church or 'left out', but bearing as patiently as possible the cross which has been given them by Christ. Sometimes these circumstances are long term (such as a sibling who takes care of a seriously disabled sibling and is thus unable to enter into a state in life) and sometimes these circumstances are short term (such as one who is unable to enter the religious life due to debt).

[OnlySunshine]

If someone were to remain single and take private vows or join an association or third order, would that be a consecrated single vocation? I don't know the proper term for this.

[Chamomile]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1297880888' post='2213015']
If someone were to remain single and take private vows or join an association or third order, would that be a consecrated single vocation? I don't know the proper term for this.
[/quote]

I don't know, either!

I do like how dominicansoul used the term being "single by default," and that if that is one's lot in life, it's best to be in a third order or live as a consecrated virgin. And as TeresaBenedicta said, this is a cross, and those who bear it with patience and humility will be blessed.

Personally, I think it's important to give ourselves completely to someone. This is the definition of true love, [i]caritas[/i]: selfless love. I don't know if a third order or lay apostolate (I'm thinking of Madonna House and maybe Opus Dei has single vowed laity?) would fulfill this longing if one doesn't have a real reason to remain single (SSA has been mentioned, as have health issues). However, I do know women in the Madonna House apostolate, and they have definitely given themselves to God and others... I don't know all the details about that apostolate, so maybe one is still open to marriage in that life, though.

And if one didn't belong to a third order/lay apostolate, I really question how one could fulfill that basic need to give of oneself without any type of vow, consecration, etc. This is just my outlook, though - maybe someone has a different perspective?

Thank you for all the responses! And I hope more people will add to the discussion!

[Shana]

My friend, who is a young consecrated virgin, just posted yesterday a relevent blog entry responding to a question in which she was asked how to make a private vow:

[url="http://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-do-i-make-private-vow.html"]http://sponsa-christ...rivate-vow.html[/url]

This was written more for those who may choose to take a private vow in preparation for consecrated virginity, but is still somewhat pertinent.

Maybe a better blog entry of hers to relate to his is a recent one she posted, Consecrated Virginity versus Private Vows:

[url="http://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/2010/12/consecrated-virginity-versus-private.html"]http://sponsa-christ...us-private.html[/url]

Here she touches on some possible indicators that one may be called a life of private vows.

Myself personally, making private vows is one of the possible ways I think God may call me. This is because I feel I am a very special case though in that I am convicted that God is calling me to be an artist committed to communicating Theology of the Body through my work, seeing as how I believe this would involve making art from nude models (which certain people without an art background have issues with and don't understand). I'm trying to figure out if it would be consistent with a vocation to "official" consecrated life. Grappling with this artistic calling and my desire to give myself entirely to Christ has been a challenge.

With that being said, I personally sense a resistence in my heart to just making private vows. For some reason I desire to be officially in a public state of consecrated life (right now I'm feeling an attraction to consecrated virginity and am checking that out). I fear that private vows wouldn't be enough for me. I'm trying to discern if this attraction to be in a public form of consecrated life officially recognized by the Church means that I actually have a vocation or if I'm actually called to just make private vows and am a little confused in my desires.

While what has led me away from discerning religious life into discerning consecrated virginity is that it seems as if it may be more compatible with my artistic calling, consecrated virginity shouldn't be seen as a last resort vocation that one falls into when all else fails. Someone here mentioned falling into consecrated virginity, which I really dont' think is how it works. I think it would be particularly hard for a young person to fall into consecrated virginity seeing as how many, even well meaning priests and religious, will discourage young women from pursuing this vocation as it is not that well understood and resisted for this reason, in addition to there being this, in my opinion mistaken, notion that consecrated virginity is meant for older women, i.e. above the age of 35 or 40. It seems that it is typical for young women who feel called to this vocation to meet with varying degrees of resistence from people within the Church, one would have to really feel called to this to be able to hack as well being a pioneer of sorts seeing as how in a lot of places there is not a presence of young consecrated virgins. I believe that one would have to have a positive attraction to the unique and distinct charism of consecrated virginity, even if what got you to initially consider it was that what you initially felt attracted towards, e.g. religious life, wasn't working out. Consecrated virginity is it's own thing, it's not the same thing as making religious vows. The consecrated virgin is consecrated sort of like a sacred object is consecrated, as opposed to making vows like a religious. There are some nuns who recieve the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity in addition to their vows, sort of like how some men in religious life are ordained priests. Just as how for a religious priest the vows he makes is a different reality than being ordained, so is recieving the Rite and making vows.

Edited February 16, 2011 by Shana

[Chamomile]

[quote name='Shana' timestamp='1297888945' post='2213050']
Maybe a better blog entry of hers to relate to his is a recent one she posted, Consecrated Virginity versus Private Vows:

[url="http://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/2010/12/consecrated-virginity-versus-private.html"]http://sponsa-christ...us-private.html[/url]

Here she touches on some possible indicators that one may be called a life of private vows.
[/quote]

I encourage people to read this post as it's enlightening in more ways than just speaking about Consecrated Virginity and private vows! Very good stuff in there.... And she also brought up a person who lived a single life, St. Catherine of Siena - a third order Dominican who made a private vow of virginity. So there's something to think about in regards to a single vocation: St. Catherine definitely gave herself completely to God and did so much for the Church that she might not have been able to do as a religious or a married person in her time. God definitely had a special call for her.

Thanks, Shana, for your response. I understand what you mean about wondering if private vows would be enough. And like you, I don't think anyone could "fall into" CV, but if a girl or woman starts to think that they're called to live singly for whatever reason, that might be the beginnings of that specific vocation.

[cruciatacara]

I liked the blog entry on consecrated vs private vows - good info. She doesn't mention hermits but they could fall into either category as well, hermits in private vows or those under canon 603D (is it?) who take public vows to their Bishop and are consecrated as Diocesan hermits. We have a couple of posters on phatmass who are CHs.

I think that more people are considering private vows simply because not everyone can fit into the criteria required by religious communities or canon law (eg CV requires physical virginity so it can't be for women who are widowed or had marriages annuled). The Church may say that a marriage has never occured (in the case of an Invalid form or actual annulment) but they can't change the woman's status back to physical viriginity so she ends up in a no-man's land of having "never been married" but the physical reality is that she has lived in a public relationship with a man and may also have consummated the marriage. There are no longer "Consecrated Widows" so they miss out as well and are usually too old to be accepted into a convent.

Really, this whole single life vocation has come about as a response to the lack of other opportunities for some women. Men have it a little better because they can usually enter the priesthood or life of a monk later in life, but then they don't have the choice of becoming consecrated virgins - and of course, they are denied the opportunity of ever having children -- so it all balances out in the end.

Some younger women may still have the option of CV if they are still physical virgins, but for many women today, especially those who may have been raised in secular households where virginity wasn't a highly prized ideal, this just isn't an option. It might be nice if the Church realized that there are many people who want to consecrate their lives through the Church but who simply do not fall into any of the available categories and so are left with no other option than private vows.

So no, perhaps it isn't a "real vocation" in that one may have felt called to private vows, but what they felt called to is not available to them. Perhaps it can be considered the "default" of carrying a Cross instead, but it seems a little strange to me that St Therese would say that God never gives one a desire He doesn't intend to fulfill when it obviously isn't true for those who feel called to a consecrated life but are barred from doing so. She wanted to be a priest but found a vocation in praying for priests. For those who feel called to consecrated life but can't do so, perhaps their "vocation" is to live out a life of private vows, praying for all those who are consecrated and for those who wish they were. It's an interesting dilemna. It does feel "second best" in the Church, but perhaps it is simply that one must learn to see through God's eyes and not through man's, since He sees what is in the heart.

There is a lot to learn in all of this for all of us, not only individual patience and acceptance of God's will for those who find they can't live their dreams for whatever reason, but also for those who think they "know" what is a vocation and what isn't. Let's just say that my attitudes have changed over the years and I don't feel so quick to tell others what's what anymore. The soul who desperately longs for a consecrated life but can't live it may be more beautiful in the eyes and heart of God than one who is in consecrated life and not living their vows wholeheartedly in faith, hope and charity. None of us can deny that we know of some priests, nuns or others in consecrated life who are less kind or loving than others in the so-called "world", despite their consecrated state. Maybe the real consecration is in living this life in imitation of Christ in everything we do, no matter what our "official" state in the Church.

[Shana]

She's got a lot of good stuff on her blog. It's a great resource for anyone who wants to learn more about consecrated life in general.

[BarbTherese]

I have school today and will return with a fuller response. I live in the single state under private vows to the evangelical counsels and with spiritual direction.
When I first began to feel that I might not be called to religious life and I knew I was not called to marriage, I hesitantly approached the subect with my director and confessor, a Vincentian theologian who lectured in our seminary and resided there. Back then (35 odd years), the single state as a vocation under private vows, though I now know was a possibility was absolutely unheard of as a vocation. Father began to explain what it could be and entail. Later needing to consult a Jesuit theologian lecturing and living in our Catholic University on another matter entirely about a talk I had to give, the subject came up and he also affirmed the possibility and asked me questions.
This all triggered me looking more closely at Baptism and I realized that Baptism is a vocation and a call to live The Gospel fully. In due course I made private vows for a year to see how things would unfold and at first it was difficult but as two to three years had passed under the private vows, my difficulties were smoothing out and I began to realize that I did indeed have a call to the single state under private vows and how it would ask of me a specific way of living and what that way of life would entail. I made perpetual perpetual vows I think it was probably about ten years later. By this time my Vincentian director and confessor had passed awy. So I consulted an ex parish priest of mine who had known me exceptionally well. He was by this time consigned to 'greater' things in The Church. We had a couple of meetings and he confirmed for me to go ahead and make perpetual or life private vows as my call and vocation.
I am now directed by a religious and an ex novice mistress in her Order with absolutely never an inkling of a doubt that this is not that to which I am called. Now and then I can feel a nostalgia for religious life as a religious can feel a nostalgia say for marriage - most often, I think, this is a desire to run from something within one's vocation that one is missing.
Documents out of Rome do mention the single state as a vocation terming it "the celibate state" within the laity - such Documents are exceptionally rare, but it is mentioned since Vatican2 anyway. Also we have quite a few saints who lived in the single state witness to the fact that one can attain holiness within this state. We can forget that Baptism is a call and vocation in itself and that any other vocation is a building on Baptism to live it out in a specific manner.
The reason, I think, that there is so much contention at times about the single state as a distinct vocation and call is because it is not mentioned out of Rome much at all. The vocation of the baptised is mentioned and this is what the vocation to the single state is. It is not a default position, but a call and vocation that I think needs to be affirmed by direction and lived out under direction. This call and vocation asks that one live in a specific manner and most wisely would be undertaken under ongoing direction. Certain qualities would need to be present in the person, as with any other vocation, in order to seriously consider the single state as one's call and vocation.

God bless - Barb
I will try to return within the next few days if the thread is still active.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1297878113' post='2212994']
Even though I have continued to discern a call to marriage, I really wonder if I am called to remain single. I cannot, because of health issues, join a religious order, so that is out. When I think about being married, I am sometimes interested in it, but most of the time, [b]I think I don't want to get married because I am not sure that having children is right for me. I've never had the patience to deal with them 100% of the time. [/b] Also, the career that I believe I am called to is one where I would be traveling a lot of the time and, for me, that is not really conducive to married life. I'm not ruling it out though. I have thought about it a lot, but I've never dated seriously. If I found a nice Catholic man to marry who was, perhaps, interested in the same career that I am interested in, then maybe it would work, but other than that, it could be very troublesome.

[/quote]
I haven't really read much of this thread, and I don't mean to be off topic, but I just had to say, I don't think anyone has the patience to deal with kids 100% of the time. I can pretty much guarantee that if you ask a mom if she's got patience 100% of the time, she'll tell you no.

Sorry for this interruption. Please, carry on.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1297907171' post='2213132']
I haven't really read much of this thread, and I don't mean to be off topic, but I just had to say, I don't think anyone has the patience to deal with kids 100% of the time. I can pretty much guarantee that if you ask a mom if she's got patience 100% of the time, she'll tell you no.

Sorry for this interruption. Please, carry on.
[/quote]

My health issues can exacerbate the problem, though. I find myself getting upset at things children naturally do like crying. My tolerance is really low most of the time, though I constantly try to change it, but having depression can really make small things seem bigger. My mom gets on to me all the time about things bothering me, so I really wonder if having a family would be a benefit or a burden in my case. Sometimes, I wonder if it would help me acquire more patience in having to deal with my own children--my mom has mentioned this before.

Like I said, I'm really not 100% sure I am called to the single life with private or public vows. I have never seriously dated and I honestly don't have the urge to do so since I am really busy with school. Dating has never been a priority for me. My aunts and grandmother would always ask if I was dating anyone and my answer was that I didn't really want to. They often looked at me like I was crazy, but it has never changed. Now, if I met a nice Catholic man who I was really interested in, I would reconsider, but no such opportunity has presented itself.

I also thought, at the end of my discernment of religious life, that I could join an association for the Catholic laity, and while researching it today, I came upon one that I would be interested in learning more about:

[url="http://www.isfcj.com/en/eindex.php"]The Secular Institute of the Heart of Jesus[/url]

I wouldn't mind becoming a third order Dominican, either, if I was able to even though I wasn't able to attend regular meetings. This is to be decided in the future, though, not now.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

This is from the Catholic Digest. It was published in 2007 and is written by Kerry Weber.

[quote]
NEW LONDON (Catholic Digest) – The letters come adorned with sparkles or scripted handwriting. They feature photos of happy couples. They announce, in extremely formal language, that I am invited to the marriage of … well, everyone I know. At least it seems that way.

My friends are pairing off left and right, and I’m genuinely thrilled for all of them. I like weddings. They honor couples that have chosen to make an admirable and loving commitment. They celebrate who have chosen the person who forever will be by their side. Plus, there’s usually cake.

As happy as I am for my married friends, the single life and the uncertainty that comes with it isn’t always easy. Living on my own can be difficult and, frankly, boring. But I’m finding that it can also be liberating, exciting and a time for true spiritual growth. And, more and more, I’m finding I’m not alone.

In 2006, the number of people 18 and older who had never married reach 55 million, according to the United States Census data, an increase from 10 years earlier. And today, the term “single” has a broader meaning, and includes a diverse crowd of energetic men and women who have been widowed, separated or divorced. There are nearly 100 million singles in the United States, and that number includes more than a few Catholics.

Whether or not we’ll eventually send out sparkly invitations of our own is a common topic among my 20-something single friends. But we’re in good company as we discover how God is calling us to live out our current single state. In 2005, the average ages at which American men and women married were approximately 27 and 25, respectively, up from 23 and 21 in 1970. And studies say the single life has its benefits, including the ability to form closer ties with friends and family.

Rebecca Peters, 25, has done just that, demonstrating what many already know – that the single life is not a selfish one. She served for two years as a full-time Jesuit volunteer in Belize, where she found a faith-filled environment among her fellow community members and formed a broad range of supportive friendships.

“It was a really great experience to be part of something bigger and to have people to count on,” she said. “Whether or not you’re in a couple, you can always be part of a community.”

After volunteering, Peters chose to delay entering graduate school in favor of living with her brother and sister-in-law in Dayton, Ohio, to help care for her nephew – something she knows she would not have had the time to do if she were married.

“They have a need, and I am the one person who is able to fulfill that, and they are able to give me things I need like love, community and a place to live. I get to see my nephew grow up, and it gives me experience hopefully for when I have my own kids.”

Still, not all of today’s singles see their state as preparation for a future romance. For Sally Connolly, who was widowed nearly three years ago, being single in her 60s took some getting used to.

After her husband’s death, Connolly threw herself into editing a book of his essays, and also began doing some writing of her own. “I didn’t have time [before Gene’s death]. And if he were alive I wouldn’t be doing it now. I guess I’m using that energy and redirecting it. I’ve been busy with the children, the grandchildren and writing, and in the good weather, I have a lot of projects outside. In spite of my loss, there are beautiful things happening all around me.”

Current technology also has given Connolly a chance to make small liberating changes in her lifestyle. With the help of a GPS, she said, “I went out and traveled around some of the communities {near Danvers, Mass.] . I never would have done that before. Gene drove and I never really paid attention.”

Of course, being newly single doesn’t have to involve a personality overhaul. “I know my church has a very nice group for people who are single and have had some kind of loss. I’ve heard that it’s very hard, but that’s not really what I want to do,” said Connolly. “I was never a group person before, and I’m not about to change that now.”

For singles looking to become involved in a parish’s everyday ministry, it’s often left to the individual to make the first move. Pastors and parish staff looking to include singles in mainstream ministry need to remember the importance of extending an invitation to their diverse body of parishioners.

“Whenever we’re working with parishes in terms of the laity, we try to keep in front of them the fact that there are different folks in front of them. They’re older, they’re younger, they’re single young adults, they’re older singles, they’re married, divorced, and widowed,” said Sister Eileen McCann, a program coordinator for young people at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Secretariat for Family, Laity, Women, and Youth. “So hopefully parishes are looking at all of that and they keep that in mind whatever programs they put out.”

Bob Tyer, 66 and single all his life, acknowledges the efforts of his parish in Springfield, Mass., to reach all members. But he remembers a time when he wondered if he would be welcome in a ...

parish consisting mainly of couples and families.

“I think if a single guy wants to get involved in the church he has to really work at it. I just said, ‘I want to be included too,’” said Tyer. His involvement began when he was invited to help decorate the church one Easter.

Today, he chairs the parish’s liturgical environment committee, and – in the midst of visiting the homebound, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, serving as an extraordinary minister of the Eucharist, chairing the spiritual life commission, and participating in the men’s prayer group – he continues to extend invitations to others looking to get involved.

“Many timid people might be included not to bother,” he said. “You have to find where your comfort zone is.”

But for some who are newly single, church can become a source of discomfort. For Tyer’s friend and fellow parishioner Jackie Tuohey, 56, being single came as a surprise. After a difficult separation from her husband three years ago, the parish community that once had been a comfort became a painful reminder of her past. For a while, she stopped going to Mass entirely.

“It was just so noticeable that I was by myself,” she said. “Little things, like when there’s a couple in front of you, and the man puts his arm around the woman, I’d think ‘I miss that.’”

Groups ministering specifically to Catholic singles tend to be localized within parish or diocesan communities and are often run by the singles themselves. But even informal groups of friends can be a great source of support to single Catholics. Thanks to the invitation extended by Tyer and other single friends, Tuohey found a renewed sense of belonging within the church.”

The Census Bureau reveals that for the first time in the Untied States, married women are a slight minority, with 51 percent of adult women now living without a spouse.

And Tuohey is one of a growing number of people who see their single state as sometimes tough, but not tragic. She’s become involved in more ministry than ever before, including taking a weeklong mission trip to Mexico and volunteering with Residents Encounter Christ, a retreat program for prison inmates. “I’m so involved, I’m almost never home. That wouldn’t be fair if I had someone else in my life,” said Tuohey. “When I was young I thought, ‘I’m going to grow up and get married.’ I wasn’t thinking, ‘I’m going to grow up and be single and minister and have a great life,’ which is what I have now. I didn’t wish to be separated from my husband, but because of the way things turned out, I certainly went through a kind of conversion and ended up with a good life.”

- - -

As a single person, it's easy for me to wonder if I'm missing out somehow by not yet having a spouse. But I'm slowly seeing that there's something to be learned and gained at every stage of life, no matter where I go or whom I'm with. And the only time I'm really missing out is when I fail to recognize that.

The “good life” that can be had by Catholic singles is something that Anastasia Northrup, 30, hope to promote through the National Catholic Singles Conference, which she founded in 2005. Held this year in Chicago and San Diego, and inspired by the late Pope John Paul’s teaching on the Theology of the Body, the conferences offer Catholic singles a chance to socialize, pray, and listen to talks on various aspects of the Catholic single state.

The focus is “mainly to offer support,” said Northrup. “The word ‘single’ gets a bad rap. People think it’s just a bunch of desperate people. My idea is, rather, to redeem the name, and say, ‘Look, there are a bunch of people who are single, and they’re normal people.’”

Single Catholics, Northrup points out, are in fact a powerful and meaningful group in the church. “I really do believe that if all the singles who are going to Mass on Sunday were actively involved in the church – volunteering with pro-life work or at a homeless shelter, or teaching catechism – the church would be a different place. There are many Catholic singles.”

Northrup, 30, has taken advantage of the freedom provided by her own single state to work in church ministry, including promoting John Paul II’s Theology of the Body teachings.

Still, she acknowledged that some days of her single state are easier than others. “You can go through cycles of being definitely bothered that you’re not so married, and then not so bothered,” said Northrup. “But I think that through it all, our ultimate goal is union with Christ, so Christ is going to use those times to bring us closer to him. I think the most important thing to be doing is seeking God’s will in your current state.”

And in her current state, Northrup has no regrets. “I can’t say, looking back, that I would change anything or wish that things had been different. It is a very rich experience if you’re using your singlehood.”

- - -

Kerry Weber is associate editor of [i]Catholic Digest[/i].


[/quote]

According to my theology professor, the single life is probably one of the hardest vocations for other people to understand, even more than the consecrated life. I know that the Church recognizes the single life as a vocation and it's a really important one. Most of us are single by default in our teens and early twenties. That's healthy! As we enter religious life, marry, etc. we are no longer single. But we should support those who see the single life as their primary vocation.