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I'm Facing A Delemma In My Discernment.


BigJon16

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One HUGE obstacle I am trying to get by is whether God truly IS calling me. I get paranoid about different little things and what I think are signs that he isn't. I sometimes don't know where to turn and since, I am so excited about priesthood, I get down whenever these thoughts enter my head. It could be I'm over thinking it, It could be Satan trying to mess me up, It could be anything.

Any body got any advice? I would definitely appreciate it.

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LadyOfSorrows

It might be helpful to ask your spiritual director for help with this, if you have one! If not, finding one might help with these types of questions. :)

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This article helped me a lot and I still refer to it often as well as the spiritual exercises of St Ignatius. Also look into his discernment of spirits. :like:
http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php

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I'd also add that what you are feeling is common. The seminarians I go to school with deal with it all the time. They will sometimes talk to me about stuff before talking to their formation director out of fear they will get kicked out of seminary for having questions. My dad used to say that in battle the guys who aren't scared are either lying to themselves or nuts. It's the same in seminary. Those without questions are either lying to themselves, or are something else.

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Thanks everyone!! That article was very helpful.

I don't "officially" have a spiritual director. I know of someone who has been helping me a lot with my discernment, and as soon as I can, I will ask him if he would be my spiritual director.

Its nice to know that I am not the only one who deals with this.

I don't know what I'd do without Phatmass. Thanks guys! really!

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LaPetiteSoeur

I'd pray about it. A lot. I find that when I'm having doubts (or really bad days) praying the rosary helped me find a center. It calms me down and helps me see God fully again.

Also, the spiritual director idea is a great one. I'd also read books that deal with discernment or religious life. A vocations director (for an order I'm not called to, but know very well) suggested [i]My Life with The Saints[/i], by James Martin. Read the bible, especially passages that deal with Jesus' ministry. There are tons of other books, I just can't think of them this early!

Dieu vous benisse!

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Catherine Therese

I can relate with this one - most of the people who join the order I'm about to join are in their late teens/early twenties. I'm going on 30... a late bloomer as far as my order is concerned! Sometimes, after a reasonable period of time in discernment, if this confusion still exists, the only way to really know if it really IS God is to decide to pursue it and see what that yields.

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade - remember when he has to take that step into what looked like a giant chasm and he actually stepped out onto a bridge across the chasm that was there but couldn't be seen? Maybe you need to step out and trust that He won't let you fall, knowing that you are sincerely seeking His will. You'll grow in certainty as you step out and test the ground in front of you and find it to be solid!

If you enter a seminary or a novitiate with a religious order and you realise through living it that the life isn't for you, then thats fantastic - that's successful discernment! You are free to leave with a clear conscience and embrace whatever life holds for you next. Meanwhile God knows the generosity you showed in offering to live the life if that's what He was calling you to, and you know that He will bless you for it.

Yet, if God is the one calling, then doors will continue to open as you start making enquiries to enter, as you get accepted, as things more or less settle down and just seem 'right'. And as your prayer life slowly changes and deepens through this process, you'll become more and more attuned to His Voice, for when we are faithful to His inspirations He sends us more and more of them!

Whether or not you're ready to take that leap of faith, I'd really recommend that you get your hands on [i]In the School of the Holy Spirit[/i] by a priest named Fr Jacques Philippe. It is some of the most useful, relevant and common-sensical advice to people discerning and attempting to deepen their spiritual lives that you will ever come across. If you want to 'try before you buy' then check out Fr Philippe's website: [url="http://www.frjacquesphilippe.com/"]http://www.frjacquesphilippe.com/[/url]

Edited by Catherine Therese
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This is something I struggled with a lot. I knew I wanted to be a sister with all my heart, but I didn't know if that was what God wants. This is what I learned: God doesn't give us desires and leave them unfulfilled; He doesn't fake us out by calling us then turning His back and saying no. God wants us to be happy; just trust Him to lead. Discernment can be a reeeeaaaalllllyyy longgggg process. As my priest once told me, "Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray... (etc)."

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Try being completely open and honest with God about what it is you're feeling. Let Him know that you only want to do His will, and ask Him to increase your trust in Him so that you may remember that He will only speak to you in a way that you can understand. He isn't trying to trick you. Ask Him to speak to your heart with his inimitable voice, and trust.

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At some point, you just HAVE to make a decision. I agree with other posters, a spiritual director is essential. He (she) will provide a framework to deepen your spiritual life - guidance on reading material to increase your understanding of religious life and a good sounding board for your hopes and fears. I really feel drawn to religious life. There has to be a reason for that - I didn't seek it - I wasn't really interested - I didn't know any sisters. But as time goes on I feel a certainty and a peace about my decision. I have every intention of entering this year. I am lucky - I have no school debt or other impediment so I can follow my heart. If I get there and find the convent's not for me, I will be very surprised, but I'll deal. However, I am convinced I am making the right decision. My spiritual director is a realist - he talks a lot about the difficulties of religious life just so I won't be overcome by the romance of it. He gives me confidence that my choice is correct.

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