Why This Order?

[stlmom]

[quote name='Staretz' timestamp='1297447919' post='2211383']
I wrote an HTML file on the very topic. it is now on our website:

[url="http://christdesert.org/Seeking_God/Life_at_Christ_in_the_Desert/Why_I_am_Benedictine/index.html"]Why I am Benedictine[/url]
[/quote]


Well done, Staretz. Benedictine spirituality is so solid and well balanced, both an encouragement to the weaker of us and a challenge to the stronger of us. No wonder it still prevails after 1500 years. God bless!

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='Catherine Therese' timestamp='1297863932' post='2212931']
ALSO, there is a genuine experience of peace that can sometimes happen in the midst of this very suffering. I think there are two sorts of 'feel'. (Maybe even more?) One sort of feel pertains to the emotions, to the affections, to the physical senses. The other sort pertains to the soul and is a spiritual reality. This second sort of 'feel' really means to consciously experience something on an interior level.

[/quote]

I attended an advent mission that was on this. It spoke about the three dimensions of the heart. The first, or outer layer, which is shallow stuff ("I'm warm", "I'm thirsty", "I'm sad"). The second, or middle layer, which has more to do with relationships with relatives and friends, and worldly worries. And the third, which is the soul, basically, and where we experience God and truly deep feelings (like peace...).
I think it was modeled after the thought of Saint Ignatius... but, I could be wrong....
Anyway, it was a great talk. Maybe I'll re-look up the stuff and post it here sometime, if you'd want me to.

Edited February 16, 2011 by Tally Marx

[ExCorde]

[quote name='Catherine Therese' timestamp='1297863932' post='2212931']
Hmmm. I think the expression "I feel convinced" is not so much a reference to the emotions as it is a figure of speech that expresses a deep, interior certainty.
(...)
Unfortunately, because language is insufficient to accurately describe the experience, its probably not real helpful to anyone who's looking for that silver bullet to answer their own personal vocation question.
[/quote]

Without any more words: Thanks.

[FutureSister2009]

My Order really just fell into my lap. I don't know if I shared this story on here before but I have it on my blog. My first year of college, fall 2009, we heard that two new Sisters were coming to our parish. I didn't really care and I never even thought I would see them. About a week later, my choir was rehearsing for Mass and the Sisters came in. They knew the song we were doing so they were kind of singing from the pew. Then one of them came up to our director and asked if they could sing with us. I didn't want them to but I couldn't say that. I thought they were annoying. They kept climbing back and forth and knocking my music on the floor. I kept my mouth shut though because after all, they were still Sisters. Then one of them decided to take a picture of us. I decided to be silly and put rabbit ears on my friend for a second. Sr. Jessica looked at me and said "I don't have photoshop! I can't edit that out!" I found it humorous because I didn't know nuns knew what photoshop was. They were also trying to recruit us to youth group.

Slowly, the more I spoke with them and got to know them, I saw just how nice they were. They said all the Sisters in their community are very friendly. That's how they're taught. I remember one night Sr. Jessica asked me if I ever thought about becoming a Sister. She wasn't forcing me or anything, she was just curious. At the time, I still didn't think so.

When I went on retreat with them, that was when I really started to feel like maybe I was called. I know I posted that story here already. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I really am called.

[faithcecelia]

I went to visit Carmel to fill the time before I could visit the Poor Clares at Arundel - they had just done a TV documentary series and were getting lots of enquiries. I left Carmel after a 46hr visit in tears as I just [i]knew.[/i] My visit to Arundel a few months later confirmed it.

Parallel to that, I had been in a charismatic parish. I LOVED it and would go to all the prayer groups, praise services, be in the music group etc etc. I spent years praying for the gift of tongues but didn't get it. I went to the New Dawn conference in Walsingham a few times, and while I lobe charismatic worship I was rather sceptical of all the people collapsing all over the place Then I went to the reconcilliation service, it blew my mind! The priest who preached showed me a way to prepare for confession that I would never have imagined myself - and that was to forgive the things that have hurt you but you feel guilty about - such as partners or parents dying, babies being miscarried, etc etc. I realised I needed to forgive my mother for being mentally ill. I howled my way through confession and then felt the most amazing lightness. That night all the preachers and organisers had left the tent but the music, the singing and the dancing carried on for hours, it was amazing. The next evening was very low attendance, maybe some had gone home, I cant remember. At the end there was prayer ministry and I decided to go forward. People were all over the floor but I knew that wouldn't happen to me...errr...okay so it did, and while I was trying to resist I just couldn't I just lay there on the floor foe some time (no idea how long) feeling like I had had a good nights sleep.

The following week I went to my parish prayer group, again I prayed for the gift of tongues and again I didn't get it. I went home that night and was saying my night prayers when it came, and I prayed for well over an hour in a language I didn't know. i was overjoyed and overwhelmed with love for God. I then heard him tell me very clearly that he had given me what I wanted, but it wasnt what he wanted from me.

Since then, yes there have been occasions when I have had brief words, phrases etc in tongues, but 99% of the time if I am in that sort of environment as the volume increases I quieten until I am inside myself in silence with God. This is my call to Carmel. Where other orders say spoken prayers, or the rosary, or litanies etc and that is what God asks of them, he asks silence from me.