franciscanheart Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 It is impossible with our current polling system to quickly gather answers to all the questions I would love to ask anonymously in this one thread. I do feel, however, that this should give a good insight to the impact of alcoholism and addiction on our phatmass family. I have seen over the years a good number of jokes about alcoholism and it's treatment, including the mocking of the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I doubt few - if any - of the posters mocking these meetings attend them or know someone personally who does. I would not be shocked if I were wrong, however, as I've encountered a good amount of ignorance in relation to this disease over the years. Certainly alcoholics, their friends and family must find humor in that which plagues them, however, I sometimes feel the disrespect shown toward the healing brought about by Alcoholics Anonymous is ignorant and mean. Alcoholism was accepted as an illness by the American Medical Association in 1956, roughly twenty-one years after the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous. There exists abundant literature about the contribution this society (AA) has made in the field of recovery from alcoholism; I think we would all do well to respect it. When physicians have patients suffering from alcoholism, or appear to be, they recommend Alcoholics Anonymous. When people commit crimes and are found to have a drug or alcohol problem, judges refer them to Alcoholics Anonymous. Treatment centers across the nation invite members of Alcoholics Anonymous into their facilities to bring meetings and "carry the message". Is the program and fellowship their sole treatment or "sentence"? No. But it is often the beginning of profound healing and growth, and the return of those individuals to "regular" society. The impact of alcoholism on the life of the sufferer and on his or her family is often profound. Unless you suffer from alcoholism, you likely cannot understand the suffering of the alcoholic, though at times you might think you can or do. In the same respect, you cannot often understand the suffering of the alcoholic's family unless you, too, live with or love an alcoholic. I should add a word, too, for the Al-Anon Family Groups. Al-Anon provides a great deal of healing and strength to the friends and family of alcoholics and have for many years. It is not uncommon for men and women to be active in Al-Anon despite the fact that "their alcoholic" has yet to get or stay sober The prognosis for alcoholics is often very grim, but there is hope. [size="2"][i]Disclaimer: I am not an official representative of Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon Family Groups, nor do I claim membership. Further, I do not intend for this thread to be a place to voice grievances with Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, or any other treatment program. I do not intend for it to become a breeding ground for self-pity or resentment. I only intend to get and share a general idea of the impact of alcoholism on our members in an effort to encourage empathy, understanding and respect.[/i][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I grew up in an alcoholic household; I haven't picked up on any negativity towards Alcoholics Anonymous on Phatmass, but then, I do miss a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 [quote name='fides quarens intellectum' timestamp='1297379698' post='2211107'] I grew up in an alcoholic household; I haven't picked up on any negativity towards Alcoholics Anonymous on Phatmass, but then, I do miss a lot. [/quote] It's rare, but it exists. And I should also say that mocking of AA is not the only thing that makes me sad. It also saddens me to see people joke about being alcoholic, the same way I am saddened by those who joke about retardation, mental health, and physical disability. It's simply ignorant, unnecessary, and unkind. But I still love each and every one of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 aww well, i think a lot of people make a lot of idiotic comments on message boards. don't be sad - get glad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 my mom is 3 months sober. yay!!!! she has been going to court-ordered AA meetings for a month. In my opinion, these meetings are like any other. Some people there are sucky, others are not. The story of the human race. Personally I have serious doubts about the classification of alcoholism as a disease. I had a disease, it was not a choice. Having a drink is a choice. The 12 steps are spot on in their understanding of human nature, though. Fr. Emmerich Vogt applies them to all levels of the spiritual life; it is brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1297380794' post='2211129'] Personally I have serious doubts about the classification of alcoholism as a disease. I had a disease, it was not a choice. Having a drink is a choice. [/quote] Again, I'd like to keep all such remarks from this thread, if possible. The point is not to prove nor disprove what doctors have for years understood as an illness, nor to debate the arguments for or against. I'm happy to hear your mom is three months sober. That is amesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I haven't seen it much on here, but I have been in the presence of it a lot. Alcoholism runs in my family. MY grandfather on my dad's side...an angry, angry alcoholic. My dad? He's had bouts of it in the past. I've dated an ex-cocaine addict (his mom was an alcoholic). A few of my ex friends...well, I had to start turning away from them because of my own health and safety. I love them all, but there's only so much a person can do for them before they get their own help or hit rock bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1297381457' post='2211133'] Again, I'd like to keep all such remarks from this thread, if possible. The point is not to prove nor disprove what doctors have for years understood as an illness, nor to debate the arguments for or against.[/quote] I am not debating. That is how alcoholism has impacted my life: as a choice my mother made ... My mom also happens to be nuts, and you can't blame a crazy chick for being nuts. Because it is what it is, she can't help it. The chemicals are wrong in her brain. What my mom chose was, when she could not deal, to medicate with alcohol. She chose this for 13 years. Now, because she is scared of going to jail, she is choosing not to do that anymore. The consequence of possibly going to jail is (so far) enough to make her change her behavior. The consequences of us kids suffering years of neglect and humiliation ... wasn't enough. Wow, you know? That's a reality. For healing to happen, it has to be addressed, not denied, or swept under the rug with a "it wasn't my fault, I had a disease." Frankly, it annoys me when my illness is put in the same category as alcoholism. I did not have my intestines amputated because of a behavior problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1297383231' post='2211145'] I am not debating. That is how alcoholism has impacted my life: as a choice my mother made ... My mom also happens to be nuts, and you can't blame a crazy chick for being nuts. Because it is what it is, she can't help it. The chemicals are wrong in her brain. What my mom chose was, when she could not deal, to medicate with alcohol. She chose this for 13 years. Now, because she is scared of going to jail, she is choosing not to do that anymore. The consequence of possibly going to jail is (so far) enough to make her change her behavior. The consequences of us kids suffering years of neglect and humiliation ... wasn't enough. Wow, you know? That's a reality. For healing to happen, it has to be addressed, not denied, or swept under the rug with a "it wasn't my fault, I had a disease." Frankly, it annoys me when my illness is put in the same category as alcoholism. I did not have my intestines amputated because of a behavior problem. [/quote] To obtain your opinion about the nature of alcoholism is not the objective of this thread. You have the right to your opinion and I have the right to disagree. I disagree that your mom's alcoholism was a choice. I disagree that any real alcoholic made the choice to be one. Again, unless you have alcoholism, you cannot understand it completely as you will not likely understand the way the person's brain works - no matter how hard you might try to understand or how mightily they attempt to explain. I understand the negative effect of alcoholism on the lives of families and friends, but as to it being a disease, I will take the word of the medical community, people who have studied it for decades. That, however, is beside the point. The point of the thread is not whether or not it's a disease, but that it exisits, it's not trivial, and it's not particularly a joking matter for many of us. Out of respect for the members of this forum, their friends and family, I would ask that you please refrain from talking like this further in this thread. I am asking politely, I do hope you'll oblige. I am sorry that you suffered at the hand of another, I hope you can find forgiveness and healing. I also hope that your mother finds long-lasting sobriety. Dying an alcoholic death - spiritually, mentally and/or physically - is painful and not something I would wish on anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 (edited) maybe you should petition to remove this emoticon, it helps people talk about drunkness! oooo and also the beer thread!... wait no ... i like the beer thread Edited February 11, 2011 by sixpence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 nah, the emoticon is fine. as is the beer thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ardillacid Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 2 drinks is drinking heavily? O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 I had really hoped for a more educated and respectful thread. I hope all of you who have suffered from alcoholism in any way find healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1297399603' post='2211259'] I had really hoped for a more educated and respectful thread. I hope all of you who have suffered from alcoholism in any way find healing. [/quote] Really? I think I am fairly well educated on the topic since I started dealing with it professionally back in 1978, and personally my whole life. What exactly are you looking for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1297399791' post='2211263'] Really? I think I am fairly well educated on the topic since I started dealing with it professionally back in 1978, and personally my whole life. What exactly are you looking for? [/quote] I feel like the questions posed in the poll were explained well enough. No formal response was requested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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