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Apathy


Ada

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[b]Ahh, sorry! I put this in the wrong spot....I just realized it...I meant to put it in the open mic thread.[/b]
I've been on my way to becoming catholic, easter is almost here, and I have a problem...

I am in a state of not caring, and really feeling like "God" is not real or there or I don't know, it just doesn't matter at all, and when this happens, I feel as if all of my possible times of "conversion" are gone, I mean... I've lost meaning. What can I do? I don't know what to do. Also feel as if I've lost everything, all knowledge of what I knew, and understanding...I don't know if that even makes sense.

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif[/img] *sigh*

I almost don't even care to post this, but I guess I am....

You could say to hang on, keep going, "go through the motions" try to believe... but wouldn't that be wrong? almost like I am faking it... sometimes this feeling comes and goes, and at times it's stronger than others (I don't even think it's some sort of "dark night") and right now, it's getting pretty strong. I just want to give up, forget it all.

Edited by Ada
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Groo the Wanderer

Sounds to me like the evil one is afraid of what you will become and the great things you will do for Christ. So he is pounding you with doubt and apathy. Stick with it, pray incessantly. Better yet, go sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament for a while.

Prayers for you. It's hard to deal with when dryness comes upon ya, but persevere. God only lets the devil hit you with what you can handle...with His help. :-)

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dairygirl4u2c

a great saint once said, when the devil tries to tempt or trouble you with anything, say some prayers. that will quickly stop him from doing either.

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cmotherofpirl

[quote name='Ada' timestamp='1297166839' post='2210069']
[b]Ahh, sorry! I put this in the wrong spot....I just realized it...I meant to put it in the open mic thread.[/b]
I've been on my way to becoming catholic, easter is almost here, and I have a problem...

I am in a state of not caring, and really feeling like "God" is not real or there or I don't know, it just doesn't matter at all, and when this happens, I feel as if all of my possible times of "conversion" are gone, I mean... I've lost meaning. What can I do? I don't know what to do. Also feel as if I've lost everything, all knowledge of what I knew, and understanding...I don't know if that even makes sense.

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif[/img] *sigh*

I almost don't even care to post this, but I guess I am....

You could say to hang on, keep going, "go through the motions" try to believe... but wouldn't that be wrong? almost like I am faking it... sometimes this feeling comes and goes, and at times it's stronger than others (I don't even think it's some sort of "dark night") and right now, it's getting pretty strong. I just want to give up, forget it all.
[/quote]

Who on the eve of a journey doesn't wonder about their course of action?
I think sometimes, in some cases, our feelings can play havoc with us after we have chosen a course of action. Doubts creep around us, nagging us, or we just feel numb, a sort of limbo.
Sometimes the anesthestic is a good thing, as we internally readjust ourselves for the change. Sometimes God is simply cutting us lose from our moorings and emptying us out so He may fill us up.
If we have weighed our actions, decided its the right thing to do, then generally we should proceed as planned, because I don't think our most important decisions should be reduced to how I feel at a particular moment. I know if I gave into my feelings I would never even get out of bed. Going thru the motions is simply carrying on a plan even if you are not feeling like it at the moment, I don't consider that faking, but an acknowledgement that feelings are transitory, its more of an act of trust.

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Ada, welcome to the Catholic life.

[quote name='dairygirl4u2c' timestamp='1297224035' post='2210469']
a great saint once said, when the devil tries to tempt or trouble you with anything, say some prayers. that will quickly stop him from doing either.
[/quote]
dairy, what a great contribution to this thread. :)

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Archaeology cat

A slightly different tack here - as a wife and mother, there are times when I don't feel very loving, when I frankly feel apathetic about it. Far from being hypocritical to continue showing love and supporting my family, it is an act of love. Similarly, there are times when I don't feel like praying, when I feel like I'll surely be hypocritcal to pray when I don't feel like it, but I never regret doing it anyway. Pray the St Michael prayer, ask your guardian angel to help you, and follow God even when you don't feel like it.

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Mark of the Cross

[quote name='Ada' timestamp='1297166839' post='2210069']

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif[/img] *sigh*

I almost don't even care to post this, but I guess I am....
[/quote]
....suffering from a little depression.

Pretty normal I think, we all go through it to some extent or another. It's a long journey which is not done in the light of one day, there will be night times where you won't be sure where you are going or if you are going the right way. "There will be times when all your efforts seem to fail, then turn to me for encouragement, [b]trust me[/b] and carry on."

[quote]You could say to hang on, keep going, "go through the motions" try to believe... but wouldn't that be wrong?
[/quote]

No! It's never wrong to think to hell with all the reasons why I should give up. Just keep going through the motions then after the darkness before the dawn will come the new light of the Lord.

Peace be with you Ada. :)

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Ada, God bless you! You are not alone. Most, if not all, go through a lull like this. Keep in mind, faith is not a feeling and must be backed up with reasons, for it is a rational act. If God has made us rational, He can't ask us not to be so when we're talking about drawing close to Him, for through reason we can discover things that are important for faith. Trust yourself in that your action to become Catholic is backed up with reasons.

Like everyone suggests, pray, pray, pray. Also, sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament whenever you have a chance.

[quote][b]Lesson 10 from the Baltimore Cathechism[/b][b]
[/b][b]
122. What is faith?[/b]
Faith is the virtue by which we firmly believe all the truths God has revealed, on the word of God revealing them, who can neither deceive nor be deceived.

[i]Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believed. (John 20:29)[/i][/quote]

Edited by Papist
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