Why Are We So Distracted From God When We're Young?

[Sarah147]

[quote name='ExCorde' timestamp='1296988646' post='2209285']
Many of us here on PhatMass are people who went through a decisive conversion around their 20s.

Don't you sometimes wonder how could you have missed sight of the important things while [u]life seemed exciting and fulfilled[/u] for you already (at least in some ways)?

I'm not yet talking about how we accomodate to the culture in college or work and spend years before the faith starts making any real sense to us. But isn't it supposed to be easier when we are still [u]young and innocent[/u]?

I'm really asking about what was it within you that made [u]God feel unappealing and unworthy of your interest and time[/u], as far as you remember?

In other words, what impression did you have back then about spirituality and the place of religion, as well as the specific claims of the Church? And what kept you away from [u]taking them seriously[/u]?

What made you [u]waste your time[/u]? Or was it not a waste of time and actually made possible for you to come to Christ after exhausting all other options?

If you are not a Catholic or can't say you've had a specific turning point of conversion in your life, how does this sound [u]to you[/u]?

[/quote]

Wow! Very good, insightful questions!

I come from a troubled family that are outside the Church. I didn't see expression of Christianity other than certain members praying at times when things were needed, and celebrating Christmas. There was practically no love and poor support. There were just so many issues... So, really, I just didn't have witnesses of Christ, love and Christianity/Catholicism.

Except, there were little things I hanged onto. There were some loving teachers/adults I had when I used to be in school, until I went into homeschooling. I had been in a Christian school when I was very young, and I learned a small bit of Christianity, I would pray interiorly at times, I knew Jesus as a person and God, I learned a Christian song, etc.

But, my whole growing up was rough. Really rough. I pretty much just followed after my parents; it's what I knew. Even the TV/movies we watched didn't witness to living out the Faith, so I just didn't have the right examples.

What made God unworthy of my time? I would talk to God as a child, but I guess deep prayer really wasn't developed because I didn't know how to grow more. As far as going to Church, etc., it just wasn't offered to me in my family, except for rare visits to some Church. Although, rarely, there were visits to a Catholic Church, and I just believed that was THE Church; also because a parent was a fallen Catholic. We did have a Children's Protestant Bible laying around, and I felt I should read it, but I have long had learning disabilities, and so it was hard for me to read, and so I didn't read it then, nor did a parent offer to read it to me. I also feared that if my parents saw me trying to live as a big Christian, they'd be very military, as they already were in ways. I just could tell they wouldn't be true about it. There wasn't love, so that would have been a very cold, rulistic, mean way of living; it partly already was. It wouldn't have been anything like the loving, Catholic life I have now! Also, with my pooooooor understanding of the faith, I felt that Religion would have been all rules, no love, etc. I held onto a personal relationship with Jesus, as that really was the only true part of Christianity I got right; I didn't know or understand much further.

When I got older adolescent/teens, I got caught up with extracurricular secular activities, and I was led to believe so many worldy lies about who you should be, what your happiness should be, how to live, etc. My prayer life got really rough in those years, doubts and forgettfulness about God, people telling me their views on sex/contreception/gay marriage/etc., immoral music and movies bombarding my life and family -- I had no solid Catholic grounding in my life, so it was soooooooooo hard trying to find how to be, how GOD wants me to live. It was a horribly painful, difficult and a lost time for me. I was also very impressionable and fearful of having differing beliefs than family, yet there were things I held onto interiorly that were right, some was just assuming family is right. When you are a kid, you try to trust your parents know what's right. But often, I felt it wasn't right, some things they believed; I'm not sure where I learned they were wrong.

I remember that with a lot of the suffering and problems that were in my life, I was upset and felt like God wasn't helping, worried He wasn't there, lots of confusion and poor understanding of the faith. I held onto a lot of unbecoming things because they brought some so-called "happiness," and I felt like, being in such an unloving life I had, what else was there to make life happy? Things became sooooo different in my 20s, meeting new people, new situations, EWTN coming on the scene!

What made me waste my time? I had more time to think and reflect in my 20s. The main problem was my poor image of God and poor understanding of the Faith. I didn't want the parts that I misunderstood, but I didn't know they were misunderstandings then. I saw a lot of "have to" rules, and didn't understand the Faith. Certain Catholics coming into my life, EWTN TV, RCIA, etc. etc. help me sort all that out. I think also, God was working on me for a loooooooong time, and I think God had to heal a lot of things within me, in order for me to come closer to Him on my conversion journey. I think everything could have happened a lot earlier in my life, if only I had loving people in my life, especially Catholics, and Catechetical instruction, as well as EWTN. Interiorly, I was crying out for God and empty, but I didn't know what to do.

It makes me ever so grateful for the life I now have. I'm grateful to be a Catholic. I'm grateful for the loving people in my life, for EWTN, and for Phatmass.


I hope something in there can help someone.



I can relate to a lot of what was discussed in this Sister's conversion story:

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=110778"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=110778[/url]

Edited February 13, 2011 by JoyfulLife

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='ExCorde' timestamp='1297627086' post='2211995']
This is amazing Sr. Marie! Thank God for making you so true!

So what is this "business" of happiness? We're currently under a massive exploration of well-being and self-helpness. We take away from it that all that really matters is us loving ourselves and be beautiful and productive so that we become desirable for those others we want to get. Is that it or something more? I do admit I'm scared about the prospect of working with kids and adolescents because of that type of challenges, even as I wish to give what I can and know that such help is sorely needed.

Since this is really about a catechetical experience from the point of view of an educator, I'm also going to copy this post into the thread [b][url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=111034"][b]Contemporary Religious Education, Catechesis, Pastoral Approaches, Etc[/b][/url][/b] - it is quite related to this topic from inception, since both things are in my head and both perspectives need to be looked into.
[/quote]

All the things you listed; loving ourselves, beauty, productivity, and being desired by others, are certainly a part of it. But a lot of it for the kids is about what they see everyday; sex, alcohol, partying. I mean, my kids are watching shows like Jersey Shore and Skins ALL the time. They think it is normal to take a different girl home every night and drink so much they don't remember doing it - and these are middle school kids. All of that is part of "the business." I just make sure that I'm comfortable talking to them about all of that in a personal way. It is scary sometimes because you have to be really willing to put yourself out there. But once they respect you and feel like they know you; they'll listen to anything you tell them and they'll seek you out to ask for your advice on things. They have to know that you have been there and that you are honest with them. I try to keep up pretty well with what is going on in the culture they are living in while inviting them to be a part of the culture of the Gospel. It is like trying to be a bridge between two VERY different places and you make your experiences, heartaches, prayers, and faith each step for them. It is about laying down your life - making it a wide open book - for God to work through.

For example, last week my boys were making fun of me (all with love) that I should come to their dance. I said I would love to go because I love to dance, which is true - I do love to dance. So when I was making fun of them back - suddenly - they said no we don't want you there! I said, "Now why would you not want me, your favorite sister, at your dance?" They told me because they are doing things they wouldn't do in front of me. Now they know my answer to that by heart - "If you can't do it in front of me, there's your first clue it's wrong!" I always say that. They think its funny and know its true. So we had a whole conversation about their situation. The next day, one of them came to me and said, "Sister, I was thinking all day yesterday about what you said and I think you're right." Now, I don't care about being right but he was able to take his experience, my experience, and our conversation, add them together and come up with a correctly formed conscience on one new point. After that I reminded him that now he has full knowledge which means he is responsible to act as such - to which he laughed and agreed.

The point is the Gospel is out of control exciting and we have to believe it and show it. We have to believe that it is so radically life-giving that we are willing to sacrifice and work hard to follow Christ. The world presents us with so many exciting experiences to have - Jesus does the same. It's about bringing the two face to face and making the decision. My kids know very well the decision I made and they know all about how I live my life. It might seem strange that they would want to talk to me about most of the things they do, but I was once in their shoes. It is all about discovering how exciting a life with Jesus is.

[Sarah147]

Sister Marie, both of your posts are amazing! I'm thinking along the lines of Don Bosco. You really seem to have a way with kids.

[Sister Marie]

Ha... well I was in enough trouble when I was their age that I know the tricks[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/angel.gif[/img]! It was a blessing in disguise!

[Sarah147]

Wow. God really brings good out of everything!

[tinytherese]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1297632510' post='2212008']
The point is the Gospel is out of control exciting and we have to believe it and show it. We have to believe that it is so radically life-giving that we are willing to sacrifice and work hard to follow Christ. The world presents us with so many exciting experiences to have - Jesus does the same. It's about bringing the two face to face and making the decision. My kids know very well the decision I made and they know all about how I live my life. It might seem strange that they would want to talk to me about most of the things they do, but I was once in their shoes. It is all about discovering how exciting a life with Jesus is.
[/quote]

That reminds me of this amesome song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVFPjIp6nkk

[BigJon16]

[quote name='ExCorde' timestamp='1297624325' post='2211980']
Have you asked yourself what makes the joy from those things less complete if you don't find God in them?
[/quote]
Yea. If i do something without God, its like doing something without your "love" there with you. haha. I feel like the experience is missing something, and that I some how have to make up for the loss of time spent without Him. It's kind of like "how i wish you were here." type thing lol. Get what Im saying? hahaha

[quote name='ExCorde'timestamp='1297624325' post='2211980']
Could they ever be sufficient in themselves if you somehow became lapsed in the faith?
[/quote]
I dont think so, but alas I, as you had implied, have many more barriers ahead of me and those are when God truly tests me and when our relationship grows stronger. But ask me this when I am "down" and you will probably get a completely different answer. hahaha

And good questions by the way! haha

[MeteorShower]

Hi everyone
My Mom raised me Catholic and brought me to Church and Sunday School every week. However, not everyone in my family is Catholic. Once when I was a child, I was told off by a family member for talking about the bible because I could offend someone, and I was told that religion was an institute that was created to control the masses. Where I really went wrong was giving into peer pressure. None of my friends were religious, so I didn't want to be either.

I came back to the faith when I was fourteen.

Edited February 14, 2011 by MeteorShower

[ExCorde]

His Holiness Benedict XVI in "Light of the World:

[size="2"][quote]
"You see, man strives for eternal joy; he would like pleasure in the extreme, would like what is eternal. But when there is no God, it is not granted to him and it cannot be. Then he himself must now create something that is fictitious, a false eternity."[/quote][/size]

[1catholic]

I think a lot of it is b/c watered down teachings/incoherent thoughts from misinformed teachers. I have to say kids in my class really want God. They don't know what to believe because they get so many conflicting messages. Teachers keep watering the faith down so that its no different than hinduism or islam.

I also think once ppl start getting around 16+ its b/c they are told that anything that is not egalitarian (anything that has greatness/authority) is bad. School brainwashes people and a lot of the time no one at home is counteracting it.

I know when I was younger (12-15) I wanted "cool" religion. I wanted "cool" music at mass and i didn't want to have to dress up. I wanted short homilies and entertaining stories. Now I want Latin mass and traditional music. I want strong homilies and faithful teachings. Its kinda funny how these things all work out.

I guess mostly its all bc we are so used to being entertained and we've are made deft and blind to beauty by the junk on tv and the radio. If ppl knew what was happening, had an openness to beauty, and didnt disdain the joy of worship (as opposed to egalitarianism with regards to God) then churches would be filled with youth.