Why Are We So Distracted From God When We're Young?

[ExCorde]

Many of us here on PhatMass are people who went through a decisive conversion around their 20s.

Don't you sometimes wonder how could you have missed sight of the important things while [u]life seemed exciting and fulfilled[/u] for you already (at least in some ways)?

I'm not yet talking about how we accomodate to the culture in college or work and spend years before the faith starts making any real sense to us. But isn't it supposed to be easier when we are still [u]young and innocent[/u]?

I'm really asking about what was it within you that made [u]God feel unappealing and unworthy of your interest and time[/u], as far as you remember?

In other words, what impression did you have back then about spirituality and the place of religion, as well as the specific claims of the Church? And what kept you away from [u]taking them seriously[/u]?

What made you [u]waste your time[/u]? Or was it not a waste of time and actually made possible for you to come to Christ after exhausting all other options?

If you are not a Catholic or can't say you've had a specific turning point of conversion in your life, how does this sound [u]to you[/u]?

Also, feel free to share about your current [u]troubles in evangelizing youth[/u] and ways you've had some success with making an [u]impact with the Gospel[/u] on them and how they lived after that.




[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#696969"][i][b]By a well in Samaria:[/b][/i][/color][/size][/font]

[font="Georgia"][size="2"][color="#696969"][i][b]«Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water."»[/b][/i][/color][/size][/font]

[i][font="Georgia"][size="1"][color="#696969"]John 4:13-15
[/color][/size][/font][/i]

[tnavarro61]

My spiritual conversion took place when i was 15. That was around 2007. I wasn't really interested with anything that is religious, or about God until then. I attend Mass every Sunday because it's part of the routine. My childhood is somehow difficult. Very difficult, and I just realized it. My conversion still continues, it didn't stop when I read the Catechism and went to Confession on my own for the first time. Slowly i discover things about myself. I am starting to know myself better and praised be Jesus Christ, I am coming to my senses.

[quote]But isn't it supposed to be easier when we are still [u]young and innocent[/u]?[/quote]
I don't know. But when I was still young and innocent, I still do not understand things. Later did I realized my childhood follies that I regret them now. I think it has something to do with maturity.

[quote]I'm really asking about what was it within you that made [u]God feel unappealing and unworthy of your interest and time[/u], as far as you remember?[/quote]
It was just too cheesy and embarassing.


[quote]Also, feel free to share about your current [u]troubles in evangelizing youth[/u] and ways you've had some success with making an [u]impact with the Gospel[/u] on them and how they lived after that.
[/quote]

I join in the work of the Religious of the Incarnate Word in evangelizing the youth in one of the poorest areas in our city. It's only when I joined the apostolate that I learned that there are kids in our area who eat only one meal a day. When they go to the oratory, they are VERY hungry. I remember one even fainted. So the Religious feed them and give them vegetables for the week. Oops, I am sorry I got lost in my thoughts... Going back, one of the things that I noticed with the youth, most especially the boys, is that they are not interested in Catechism. Boys, although very young, don't want to be treated as kids and they think those Catechism stuffs are for kids. When we come to the part where we feed them and when we play with them, they would join. But when it comes to the Catechism part, they would go outside and play. Some boys won't even join because they want to play with their marbles.

I just realized that we need something like the Marian Chivalry of the Franciscans of the Immaculate. Now I wanna research on how they do it, and propose it to the brothers and sisters. (I don't have a hidden agenda to convert the Religious of the Incarnate Word into Franciscans of the Immaculate!!)

Pray for the youth.

[tinytherese]

I was a luke-warm Catholic until I was 13 after channel flipping to EWTN. In a nutshell, I think that so many youth are like this is because of poor catechesis whether in the parish, Catholics schools, and the home.

I recommend reading the book, "I Choose God," which compiles conversion stories of 21 different young people. I haven't read it yet, but I want to read No Turning Back A Witness to Mercy, which is the story of one young man's conversion to Catholicism and becoming a priest. From what I've been told, he lived a really sinful life beforehand. He's been called a contemporary St. Augustine.

From My Blog

http://childofourlady.blogspot.com/2007/06/answer-to-common-problem.html

http://childofourlady.blogspot.com/2009/04/defining-and-living-out-evangelization.html

An amesome Article

http://www.adoremus.org/6-72K.Jon.html

[ExCorde]

[quote name='tnavarro61' timestamp='1296994501' post='2209295']
I wasn't really interested with anything that is religious, or about God until then.

My conversion still continues

I don't know. But when I was still young and innocent, I still do not understand things. Later did I realized my childhood follies that I regret them now. I think it has something to do with maturity.

Pray for the youth.
[/quote]

I find this uneasiness about being "religious" has to do with only a personalized spirituality making sense to people, rather than doing or believing things [i]because[/i] others do so. What I wonder the most, however, is about how cradle Catholics in particular lose the sense of purity they received from childhood. What makes me curious is about knowing the different ways things got complicated from there!

It's particularly interesting to look into the childhoods of people who aren't cradle Catholics or eventually become staunch atheists. Apart from the mystery of evil, there's a lot of human obstacles that escalate into something that completely darkens their worldview, trapping them in doubt (and sin).

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1297015097' post='2209360']
In a nutshell, I think that so many youth are like this is because of poor catechesis whether in the parish, Catholics schools, and the home.
[/quote]

This brings us to faithful theological formation! One that doesn't just look at history and try to prove things but one that really is about connecting people to their Savior through the channels of prayer and sacrament. One that isn't just about social justice or raising up productive citizens, but a true conversion of heart. People do long for love and truth at their core, and since I got that, what troubles me is how easy and frequent it is for people to be shallow and not look further.

Thanks for the references and your writings! I love conversion stories and I did hear about Fr. Calloway but I didn't realize people were calling him a new Augustine.

[Ephrem Augustine]

We are so distracted because...
Hey look something SHINY!

[Ephrem Augustine]

I have done a lot of studies in preperation to be a youth minister
I have looked into statistical studies on millennials.

Most would agree that kids do follow their parents. We are so convinced that young people are only concerned with being subversive against their parents that we ignore the original subversiveness of their parents. We are so convinced that young people are doing everything they can possibly do to rebel against their parents. We overlook the real instinct that kids have for their parents approval.

So the fact is that most kids are not actually raised in their faith. They are sent to Catholic Schools, and CCD, by parents who do nothing to express faith. How can they express something that they do not have? Young people are smart enough to see that when they are told in school that Religion matters, they are going to go the easy route of their parents who live as if Religion does not matter. They will learn in their head what the Church teaches, and will learn in their heart from their parents that none of it has consequence in their lives.

Kids will be pushed into sports and music extracurricular activities at school. Their kids might even want to do it out of their own volition. Their parents will gladly schedule their lives around their kids sports and music. However, if their kids, should of their own desire decide to be involved in Church, their parents might refuse to cooperate with their desire to be at Church, they might refuse to support their kids in that, they might refuse to drop them off, they might refuse to give them money for events that cost money, and they do not have the same interest in scheduling their lives, family get togethers, etc. around their church youth ministry stuff in the same way that they would for sports or music.

Blame the parents? Not really. We can blame the culture, or the secular world, or the media, or peer pressure. It is a complicated issue. I think that this is just one major component that is often overlooked. It is one component, however, that I see a whole lot of at every Youth Ministry that I have been involved with, and several of my high school classmates (10 years ago) who wanted to debate me out of my religion.

[ExCorde]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1297015097' post='2209360']
I recommend reading the book, "I Choose God," which compiles conversion stories of 21 different young people.[/quote]

I remembered another conversion book that can be appealing to young adult audience. You know how issues related to sexuality - even nothing BUT sexuality - seems to keep people at odds with the Church. Even people who keep attending Mass may not be such a shiny example and could even turn others away from the Church as they witness their lukewarmness. So it's revitalizing and an actual conversion to unabashedly proclaim the saving truth of the Gospel about human nature and all that is possible through the redemption of Christ. These are some examples:

[url="http://www.amazon.com/dp/193421745X/"]Freedom: 12 Lives Transformed by the Theology of the Body[/url]

Speaking of converts, I'll recommend here another sobering recent publication that illustrates how much of our own effort is NOT needed, as in pastoral programs and the like, because it is the Lord that chooses us and not the other way around, especially when seekers are perfectly aware of the flaws in the human face of the Church:

[url="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1586173405/"]Chosen: How Christ Sent Twenty-Three Surprised Converts to Replant His Vineyard[/url]

[ExCorde]

[quote name='Ephrem Augustine' timestamp='1297230670' post='2210499']
They will learn in their head what the Church teaches, and will learn in their heart from their parents that none of it has consequence in their lives.
[/quote]

Thanks for deciding to make youth ministry that important in your life!

Parenting is of huge importance and you raise an overlooked issue indeed. Since we are quite informed and limited by our parents as we develop, it's essential to include them in an appraisal of the reasons that keeps the youth from Church or makes them get the wrong picture as they slowly or not-so-slowly become disillusioned and lapse away.

It's authenticity that really wins people over. I mean, there's not much left standing between someone and Christ when they meet Him in the person of a real disciple. People cling to the examples they know, whether good or bad and this means that the whole context (including society at large) where they witness things and make choices can change everything.

So, [b]exposure to the truth[/b], whether in relationships or education is key.

But... knowing about the truth isn't enough, noone can accept Christ but our own selves. What is it that happens when you actually did form a good general picture of religion and you do know better than your circumstances, and still go on and fall away? Conversion is continuous, yes, so [b]what do you now realize that kept you fooling yourself?[/b]

[Tally Marx]

[quote]I'm really asking about what was it within you that made [u]God feel unappealing and unworthy of your interest and time[/u], as far as you remember?<BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"> [/quote]

I have never undergone a real conversion experience. My spiritual life is one that has grown slowly and steadily over time.
I was never disinterested in God as a child, and I am of the firm opinion that this is because of my family. My parents were (and remain) very devout Catholics. Every part of our family life included God. I couldn't be disinterested in Him-- I couldn't get away from Him. He was everywhere.
I also think that their homeschooling me, and getting me away from the constant influence of my oh-so-not-innocent peers, helped me grow in the Faith, too.

I am involved in Faith Formation at my parish church. This is multi-generational faith formation, which focuses on educating not only children but also adults (who need it as much as the kids, these days!). It has been my personal experience that several things affect a child's interest in the Faith and their spiritual life.

1) The family. Devotion begins in the family. If the parents don't appreciate the Faith, the kids won't either.
2) Lack of education. This goes for parents and kids. They don't understand the Faith, what it means to be Catholic and why we believe what we do as Catholics. So, they don't appreciate being Catholic.
3) Peer pressure. It doesn't matter how young the kid is, he or she is going to have materialistic peers who aren't interested in religion. In the US, it isn't fashionable to be religious. Some kids will make fun of him/her for his faith, or attack him for it. Chances are, little or no friends will actually encourage him/her in his/her Faith, won't encourage them to think of God or religious matters. Their friends are not going to say, "Let's go to Adoration"or "Let's play saints/nuns/priests/hermits!" Their friends and teachers and coaches are going to say "Let's play soccer/baseball/football" or "Let's see a movie/play a video game/etc/etc"

So, in short, most kids are too young or busy to realize that something is missing from their lives.
And, if they did realize it, nothing encourages them to look into religion for the missing piece.... instead, there's lot's to offer them false "missing pieces" and further distract them from religion.

Personally, I have found that the best way to get them interested in the Faith is to show them what they are missing. I love my faith, I live my faith, and they see that I am content and joyful in my life. They begin to want what I have. I have personally found this to be the most important thing. I'm not all that much older than the teens I teach, and I am fully convinced that the main reason they have any respect for me, is because I have something they want. All it takes, is my showing them.

[Maximilianus]

In my case it was lack of catechesis and lack of involvement in the parish/Church.

[BigJon16]

Well I guess one could say that I really started to understand the truth and know God's love around this time last year when I started to prepare to make my confirmation. I guess one could call that a conversion. The past year -though obstacle filled- has been amesome.

I feel what took me so "long" (I know it was not that long) was that I wanted to "live life". You know, party, drink, have fun all that stuff that every freshman in high school desires. When I ignorantly boasted this "desire" to my pastor, saying I wanted to live life, then worry about God, (you know after college) he responded with something like, "what is life without God?"

I soon realized that those desires, though desirable, were not all that matters. But Christ is. I now feel I wouldn't be able to live life without God in my life, not happily at least.

I guess that's what distracted me when I was "young". hahaha (I still am.)

I guess it sounds like I am going above my "age" in the way that I give this testimony. hahaha

[Sister Marie]

I'm a religious sister in my twenties. I teach the middle school grades in a Catholic school. I have found that the most important thing I give to my kids as far as religious education is concerned is myself. I try as often as I can to be an open book. It is amazing how deeply it has affected them and myself. First, they are not afraid to broach any subject with me because they know I'm going to be real with them about it and I'm not going to be embarrassed to talk about anything they need to talk about. Second, I tell them how I struggle and deal with things in my own life. I tell them how I feel when I pray. I tell them how I pray. I give them specific examples from my own life. I tell them about my life before I was a sister and my life now that I am a sister. I tell them about my family. The third thing I do is challenge them. Are they man or woman enough to follow Christ? I make sure that I don't water it down because my kids are looking for a challenge.

I see the fruits of this when they come back after a tough lesson and say that they think they understand and they will try. I see it when they tell me about the sacrifices of their wills they have made to God. I see it when they admit they have failed to do the right thing. I see it when they suggest prayer over a difficult time (like right now in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia).

Because I'm able to connect with their emotions and experiences they get it. It is standard educational practice in any subject area that if you want them to learn you have to appeal to emotion and experience.

We have a really tough world to fight against though. They are constantly being bombarded by lies and sin. Whatever we do, we have to do it from a deep relationship with Christ because He alone can touch their hearts. Kids are amazing at detecting "fakes" or "phonies". Not to suggest that anyone teaching religious education is fake or phony; however, if we aren't willing to be really truthful and vulnerable with them they might see it that way. The greatest compliment I got from a student was "Sister is holy, but she knows the business." The "business" being the world's definition of happiness which they are trying to conform to but are not finding any fulfillment in; I'm just challenging them to think a little differently.

[ExCorde]

[quote name='Tally Marx' timestamp='1297299484' post='2210769']
I have never undergone a real conversion experience. My spiritual life is one that has grown slowly and steadily over time.
I was never disinterested in God as a child, and I am of the firm opinion that this is because of my family. My parents were (and remain) very devout Catholics. Every part of our family life included God. I couldn't be disinterested in Him-- I couldn't get away from Him.

So, in short, most kids are too young or busy to realize that something is missing from their lives. And, if they did realize it, nothing encourages them to look into religion for the missing piece.... instead, there's lot's to offer them false "missing pieces" and further distract them from religion.

Personally, I have found that the best way to get them interested in the Faith is to show them what they are missing. I love my faith, I live my faith, and they see that I am content and joyful in my life. They begin to want what I have. I have personally found this to be the most important thing. I'm not all that much older than the teens I teach, and I am fully convinced that the main reason they have any respect for me, is because I have something they want. All it takes, is my showing them.
[/quote]

You're beautiful Tally, God bless you. This is very solid insight.

There's a saying by a priest here that goes like "Christianity spreads by envy!" I do end up envying those who have never strayed from the Lord, but I do believe that His Redemption a more excellent creation than the first. We all come to Him for it, some with more open wounds and in more dramatic ways than others. As someone with quite a few bumps in the road I find it encouraging that it is possible to be kept safe and satisfied for all that time; that methodical and existential doubt need not be the source of validation (which I've been exploring in both philosophical and experiential ways). By this I mean that we may safely proceed in deepening the truth without being all that concerned with all the alternatives and distractions as if we're missing out on something or that we could only make an informed decision if we had erred many times before.

[ExCorde]

[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1297468025' post='2211515']
I soon realized that those desires, though desirable, were not all that matters. But Christ is. I now feel I wouldn't be able to live life without God in my life, not happily at least.
[/quote]

That's great BigJon! Have you asked yourself what makes the joy from those things less complete if you don't find God in them? Could they ever be sufficient in themselves if you somehow became lapsed in the faith? It's good to prepare yourself for harder moments. I can tell you I was like that around my late teens but then through disappointments in life, things fell apart and I was pretty lonely for a while. So be strong and keep finding good reasons for the prayers and sacrifices you do (and keep doing those more often).

Btw nice one on the Matt Maher quote!

[ExCorde]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1297553185' post='2211811']
I have found that the most important thing I give to my kids as far as religious education is concerned is myself. I try as often as I can to be an open book.

We have a really tough world to fight against though. They are constantly being bombarded by lies and sin. Whatever we do, we have to do it from a deep relationship with Christ because He alone can touch their hearts. Kids are amazing at detecting "fakes" or "phonies". Not to suggest that anyone teaching religious education is fake or phony; however, if we aren't willing to be really truthful and vulnerable with them they might see it that way. The greatest compliment I got from a student was "Sister is holy, but she knows the business." The "business" being the world's definition of happiness which they are trying to conform to but are not finding any fulfillment in; I'm just challenging them to think a little differently.
[/quote]

This is amazing Sr. Marie! Thank God for making you so true!

So what is this "business" of happiness? We're currently under a massive exploration of well-being and self-helpness. We take away from it that all that really matters is us loving ourselves and be beautiful and productive so that we become desirable for those others we want to get. Is that it or something more? I do admit I'm scared about the prospect of working with kids and adolescents because of that type of challenges, even as I wish to give what I can and know that such help is sorely needed.

Since this is really about a catechetical experience from the point of view of an educator, I'm also going to copy this post into the thread [b][url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=111034"][b]Contemporary Religious Education, Catechesis, Pastoral Approaches, Etc[/b][/url][/b] - it is quite related to this topic from inception, since both things are in my head and both perspectives need to be looked into.