emilier98 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 As a Catholic that is divorced and has received an annulment the process is not easy, is not fun, and is a bit traumatic. I divorced my husband because he verbal and physically abused me and he raped me. When the verbal abuse started I got him to go to marriage counseling and we were both in individual counseling. I had to describe to the tribunal what he said and what he did in detail. I had to tell them how we had gotten pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion because he gave me the choice of letting a medical professional do it or he would make it happen. I had to show them pictures of the injuries, hospital records and present witnesses. While some people may think that divorce and annulment is unacceptable in any circumstance I respectfully disagree. Even with all of that it was hard for me to leave and file the divorce papers. Most people do not get divorced lightly or get an annulment lightly. I take extreme offense to the people who think divorce in any circumstance is wrong, because living with an abusive spouse who abuses your children and you is not what God wants for anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299809062' post='2220000'] As a Catholic that is divorced and has received an annulment the process is not easy, is not fun, and is a bit traumatic. I divorced my husband because he verbal and physically abused me and he raped me. When the verbal abuse started I got him to go to marriage counseling and we were both in individual counseling. I had to describe to the tribunal what he said and what he did in detail. I had to tell them how we had gotten pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion because he gave me the choice of letting a medical professional do it or he would make it happen. I had to show them pictures of the injuries, hospital records and present witnesses. While some people may think that divorce and annulment is unacceptable in any circumstance I respectfully disagree. Even with all of that it was hard for me to leave and file the divorce papers. Most people do not get divorced lightly or get an annulment lightly. I take extreme offense to the people who think divorce in any circumstance is wrong, because living with an abusive spouse who abuses your children and you is not what God wants for anyone. [/quote] Prayers for you. I'm glad you made it out. Edited March 11, 2011 by Nihil Obstat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 It feels almost embarrassing to be a lifelong noncatholic, and be shown repeatedly that there are catholics who willingly know less of their own religion than I know if it. Apparently, you should actually try reading some of the laws of the religion you follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [color="#0000FF"]Nihil Obstat, on 10 March 2011 - 08:18 PM, said: "Did you read that bit about how marriages can be invalid? I.e. they never existed. Ipso facto, there is no indissoluble, lifelong partnership, because no marriage exists." apparently, on 10 March 2011 - 08:30 PM, said: a woman can get a legal abortion too, it doesn't make it right.. Ipso facto,[/color] However if the Catholic Church that you belong to says that two people really and truly not married then they are not married and that ruling does make it right. That is Church teaching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southern california guy Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299809062' post='2220000'] As a Catholic that is divorced and has received an annulment the process is not easy, is not fun, and is a bit traumatic. I divorced my husband because he verbal and physically abused me and he raped me. When the verbal abuse started I got him to go to marriage counseling and we were both in individual counseling. I had to describe to the tribunal what he said and what he did in detail. I had to tell them how we had gotten pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion because he gave me the choice of letting a medical professional do it or he would make it happen. I had to show them pictures of the injuries, hospital records and present witnesses. While some people may think that divorce and annulment is unacceptable in any circumstance I respectfully disagree. Even with all of that it was hard for me to leave and file the divorce papers. Most people do not get divorced lightly or get an annulment lightly. I take extreme offense to the people who think divorce in any circumstance is wrong, because living with an abusive spouse who abuses your children and you is not what God wants for anyone. [/quote] Why were you granted an annulment? Were you not truly married because the marriage wasn't a good one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havok579257 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='apparently' timestamp='1299803426' post='2219976'] a woman can get a legal abortion too, it doesn't make it right.. Ipso facto, [/quote] so your claiming the catholic church is in error? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havok579257 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='apparently' timestamp='1299792043' post='2219910'] i thank god every day for my wife, i could not live without her. we are devoted to each other and have been from the day we wed. my cup overflows [/quote] so is this your way to avoid the question you have no answer to? if your point is so right, then answer the question i posed. should be easy, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='southern california guy' timestamp='1299814066' post='2220021'] Why were you granted an annulment? Were you not truly married because the marriage wasn't a good one? [/quote] I was indeed granted an annulment. I am free to marry or enter a religious order. To say that my marriage was not good is an understatement. To say that I do not deserve to be free to marry again or enter a religious order because I left a husband that did horrible things to me, more than what I mentioned in that post, is unjust. He was not abusive when we were dating, he did not start being abusive until after we got married, so that may be what invalidated the marriage. If you get a divorce simply because you are unhappy and the two of you do not talk anymore, that is one thing. However I left my husband because he beat me, he raped me, he abused me and did atrocious things. I deserved my annulment, I deserve to be free to marry or enter a religious order. I did not simply get bored with my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southern california guy Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='havok579257' timestamp='1299814736' post='2220024'] so your claiming the catholic church is in error? [/quote] I'm one of the people who thinks that the Catholic church is in error. I think that people usually get an annulment so that they can remarry within the Catholic church -- not because they felt that their marriage wasn't really valid. And I think that it's basically just a loophole that the Catholic church devised to get around Jesus Christ's position that remarriage after a divorce was adultery. But I'm not a very good Catholic. If I had to choose I'd follow what Jesus Christ taught over the Catholic church. I think that it's bad for the children for the parents to remarry while the children are still young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='southern california guy' timestamp='1299816682' post='2220027'] I'm one of the people who thinks that the Catholic church is in error. I think that people usually get an annulment so that they can remarry within the Catholic church -- not because they felt that their marriage wasn't really valid. And I think that it's basically just a loophole that the Catholic church devised to get around Jesus Christ's position that remarriage after a divorce was adultery. But I'm not a very good Catholic. If I had to choose I'd follow what Jesus Christ taught over the Catholic church. I think that it's bad for the children for the parents to remarry while the children are still young. [/quote] If you want to follow what Jesus Christ taught, then you better follow the Catholic Church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299809062' post='2220000'] As a Catholic that is divorced and has received an annulment the process is not easy, is not fun, and is a bit traumatic. I divorced my husband because he verbal and physically abused me and he raped me. When the verbal abuse started I got him to go to marriage counseling and we were both in individual counseling. I had to describe to the tribunal what he said and what he did in detail. I had to tell them how we had gotten pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion because he gave me the choice of letting a medical professional do it or he would make it happen. I had to show them pictures of the injuries, hospital records and present witnesses. While some people may think that divorce and annulment is unacceptable in any circumstance I respectfully disagree. Even with all of that it was hard for me to leave and file the divorce papers. Most people do not get divorced lightly or get an annulment lightly. I take extreme offense to the people who think divorce in any circumstance is wrong, because living with an abusive spouse who abuses your children and you is not what God wants for anyone. [/quote] you will never have to justify yourself to me, and I apologize on behalf of those who might have made you feel like you need to explain yourself. [quote name='southern california guy' timestamp='1299814066' post='2220021'] Why were you granted an annulment? Were you not truly married because the marriage wasn't a good one? [/quote] that's not your business. if she refuses to share any more information, that's her right. just because you are on the internet doesn't mean you should ask impertinent questions like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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