Detachment

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1296750695' post='2208212']
P.S. My Franciscan-ness compels me to add...

It also helps to literally give material things away. Especially things you know you like a lot or have too much of. Like if you have too many winter coats, give some to the poor. If you have a thing for shoes or handbags, choose the ones you need and give the rest away. If you have random knick-knacks in your room, give them away.

In our minds, it may be easy to think about giving up these things when we, God-willing, enter religious life. But while still in the world, it's sometimes harder to part with these things that bring us comfort.

Live poorly and simply.

And spend time with the poor.
[/quote]

I have done the same thing, Cham! And I found it very helpful.
I grabbed two giant boxes, and went into my room, and began tossing things in.
I was on a high for a while- I'd just given a lot of people presents! That always makes one feel good, right? I was brought down to earth again when I realized just how large a portion of my private library I had gotten rid of.
And maybe it's a bit early, and maybe its a bit silly, but I've already begun making a list of all those things that have a lot of emotional value, and have begun to decide which siblings I will give them to. I [i]highly[/i] doubt I will be able to continue giving my siblings and godchild the sort of gifts I give them now, after I enter. So, I have a Plan. I will leave these Very Special Emotional Things with my parents, with little tags saying "For Lydia for her 4th birthday" and they should be all set for some amesome presents after I enter! I've begun packing them away in boxes already.

Actually, I don't think parting with my material possessions is what I'll have a problem with when I enter. I'm much more concerned about my attachment to people.....

[Sarah147]

[quote name='Tally Marx' timestamp='1296776165' post='2208369']
Actually, I don't think parting with my material possessions is what I'll have a problem with when I enter. I'm much more concerned about my attachment to people.....
[/quote]


I hear ya!

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1296765374' post='2208285']
This thread is fiiiiiiilled with wonderful advise and discussions. God bless you all!
[/quote]

Indeed. Thank you for inspiring it! Love it!

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1296765374' post='2208285']
This thread is fiiiiiiilled with wonderful advise and discussions. God bless you all!
[/quote]
Right?! I'll respond in a little bit after I make my other rounds but I just have to say I prayed for each of you today when I was BEAMING with love for each of you. I can't tell y'all what an amesome blessing it is to have you in my life and to be surrounded by women who also want to be saints.


yay!

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1296753163' post='2208227']
I've been thinking about this particular topic all night and morning, and have felt prodded by that pesty Holy Spirit (love You!) to share a little bit more, this time from my personal life.

God is granting me the beautiful (and painful) gift of growing in detachment in many different areas of my life right now. As many of you know, I'm in a waiting period in terms of my vocation. I have been accepted into a religious order and am all set to enter as soon as my financial situation is alleviated. And while this is probably one of the most difficult periods of my life, it is also one in which I can see so clearly the many blessings and graces and works God is doing in my life right. With the over-riding theme being [i]detachment[/i].

Currently I am living at home, which is 3,000 miles away from all of my friends, most especially my best friend and many others who have been of great help in my spiritual life and discernment. Including my spiritual director of four years (we talk once a month by phone... but it's not nearly the same as in person). I live in a non-Catholic, non-Christian household and in a greater environment of atheism (oh Pacific Northwest), where I don't know anyone my age who is Catholic. I'm also much without a mentor or guide. Which is a brand new experience for me. All to say I haven't anyone with whom I can share... anything... on a personal level. In many ways, it is excruciatingly lonely

I say all of this, not seeking pitty for my situation or for me, but to describe the circumstances in which the Lord is pleased to draw me ever closer to himself. See, sometimes our good God strips us away from everything that we consider to be good for us and our spiritual development, so as to teach us to depend solely on him and his love. Practically speaking, in my life right now, this means learning to let all of my desires for deeper human relationships (which are of course very good things!) to be satiated in God alone. To learn how to love God [i]principally[/i], so that my love for [i]all[/i] others may be [i]in the same love[/i] with which I love God. Simply put, so I can love others for [i]his[/i] benefit. Before (and still, as this is an on-going process), I loved others imperfectly and loved God even more imperfectly. Now I must stripped of those loves, I must learn to love God perfectly, and then I must love those others of whom I've been stripped, with the perfect love of God. Kind of like a newly painted car. It must first be stripped of its previous paint before the new and better paint can be applied.

This, I think, is a process especially needed in order to understand the nature of the vocation of the celibate and pure, celibate love. To love God principally and others for his sake.

I also find my 'waiting' situation to be an opportunity for the purification of my own will and desires. In a two-fold sense. First is somewhat of the obvious... abandonment to his will. Loving his will above my own. Clearly it is not his will I be in the convent at this exact moment, no matter how badly I desire it. These desires (for the religious life) have been written on my heart by my Jesus, but it does not yet please him to fulfill those desires. I asked the Lord, one night, why he should please to give me these growing desires yet not see it good to fulfill them (you can see that I've not yet fully learned his lesson) and responded with a very powerful image... I saw my heart and his hand carving these desires into my heart. With each subsequent 'round' of carving, with the desires being carved deeper and deeper into the flesh of my heart, I suffered more and more... and I desired it more and more. The deeper it was written on my heart, the more painful it became, and the stronger the desire became. And then I heard his voice, "I do this so that this desire may never fade."

A beautiful imagine, no? Yet ought that I may have loved his will without seeking an understanding of it. My questioning was not of the practical, as was Mary's, but of distrust. Grant that we may always love his will, even if we do not understand it. It is only in loving his will that we shall bring him joy and our own joy shall be complete! And if that can't be done outside of the convent, do I expect to be able to do so magically inside?

There is a second sense in which I find my waiting as an opportunity for detachment... And, as backwards as this might sound, it is an opportunity for detachment from the desire for religious life itself. Obviously the desire for religious life is a [i]great[/i] good, and one that I firmly believe has been given me by the Lord himself. Yet, I must love and desire Jesus above even that desire. How easily the evil one sneaks into the hearts of good souls with holy desires! He knows he cannot take way those good and holy desires, so instead he snares the soul into loving and seeking those desires [i]over[/i] Jesus! How easily, how little we see it, that we love the gifts of God more than we love and desire him! Although these are good and inspired desires, we must not cling to them. We must, in a certain way, be detached from them, and seek only the Lord and his will. If we do this, and it turns out that he does indeed wish to fulfill our desires, it will happen by default. The difference is so subtle... I'm not sure I'm doing a good job of describing it.

There are a few other ways in which I see God actively purifying me, but I've already written too much. Sorry!

Detachment is so important and we should always desire the graces to love God more than all things [i]and[/i] to love all other things with the purified love of God.
[/quote]

Thank you for sharing this Teresa Benedicta, Beautiful!
You are very much in my prayers during this most beautiful and trying time. Ah, the Holy Cross.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Tally Marx' timestamp='1296776165' post='2208369']
Actually, I don't think parting with my material possessions is what I'll have a problem with when I enter. I'm much more concerned about my attachment to people.....
[/quote]
I think that's always the biggest struggle. I personally have started to really be careful with my time for this very reason. Again, so much more I want to share but I'm falling asleep. More later...

[vee]

In that book of Mother Angelica's I quoted earlier there is also a quote, that I cant find right now, that goes something like "detachment from things is a strong attachment to God."

St Teresa of Avila speaks about detachment in The Way of Perfection and here is a bit from chapter 10

[font="Times New Roman, Times, serif"][size="4"][color="#003300"]Once we have detached ourselves from the world, and from our kinsfolk, and are cloistered here, in the conditions already described, it must look as if we have done everything and there is nothing left with which we have to contend. But, oh, my sisters, do not feel secure and fall asleep, or you will be like a man who goes to bed quite peacefully, after bolting all his doors for fear of thieves, when the thieves are already in the house. And you know there is no worse thief than one who lives in the house. We ourselves are always the same;[url="http://www.catholicfirst.com/thefaith/catholicclassics/stteresa/way/wayofperfection04.html#fn8"][8][/url] unless we take great care and each of us looks well to it that she renounces her self-will, which is the most important business of all, there will be many things to deprive us of the holy freedom of spirit which our souls seek in order to soar to their Maker unburdened by the leaden weight of the earth. [/color][/size][/font]

[font="Times New Roman, Times, serif"][size="4"][color="#003300"]It will be a great help towards this if we keep constantly in our thoughts the vanity of all things and the rapidity with which they pass away, so that we may withdraw our affections from things which are so trivial and fix them upon what will never come to an end. This may seem a poor kind of help but it will have the effect of greatly fortifying the soul. With regard to small things, we must be very careful, as soon as we begin to grow fond of them, to withdraw our thoughts from them and turn them to God. His Majesty will help us to do this. He has granted us the great favour of providing that, in this house, most of it is done already; but it remains for us to become detached from our own selves and it is a hard thing to withdraw from ourselves and oppose ourselves, because we are very close to ourselves and love ourselves very dearly. [/color][/size][/font]


We also have St John of the Cross who says NADA NADA NADA thanks Juan hahaha

[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-GKMR8mFGBs/TQeEOKpbIBI/AAAAAAAABOw/zu3vtv3FRBY/s1600/Christianity_John_of_the_Cross_diagram_maxims_english_smaller+%25281%2529.jpg[/img]

[vee]

Another quote from Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality.


Penance doesnt mean a thing if its not God's will. St Teresa of Avila was so determined that she was going to do all these penances one Lent. Well she got into bed and was so sick everybody had to wait on her. She complained to the Lord and He said to her: "That was your penance, but this is mine for you." We all have our ideas of how we are going to be holy and how we're going to do penance. It's amazing what we'll do if it's our will, but if it's God's Will we all scream.

I like that last last sentence in particular because its soooo true! Even with detachment Ive noticed when I do things myself its ok but when God does it Im a two year old throwing a tantrum! Not my pride Lord, not my will oooowwwwwwww!!!



edited to add "not my will"

Edited February 4, 2011 by vee8

[Sarah147]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1296835372' post='2208685']
Another quote from Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality.


[b]Penance doesnt mean a thing if its not God's will.[/b] St Teresa of Avila was so determined that she was going to do all these penances one Lent. Well she got into bed and was so sick everybody had to wait on her. She complained to the Lord and He said to her: "That was your penance, but this is mine for you." [b]We all have our ideas of how we are going to be holy and how we're going to do penance. It's amazing what we'll do if it's our will, but if it's God's Will we all scream.
[/b]
I like that last last sentence in particular because its soooo true! Even with detachment Ive noticed when I do things myself its ok but when God does it Im a two year old throwing a tantrum! Not my pride Lord, not my will oooowwwwwwww!!!



edited to add "not my will"
[/quote]


Soooooooooo true! God will and does send us plenty of penances in daily life, and I think HIS penances break down our pride and everything much better than our attempts.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1296846516' post='2208763']
Soooooooooo true! God will and does send us plenty of penances in daily life, and I think HIS penances break down our pride and everything much better than our attempts.
[/quote]
That's why I just don't make any attempts.

[Sarah147]

That's the lesson I learned from someone, and Mother Angelica, and so I don't make my own penances. I do, however, feel that the Rosary is a penance for me, and that's part of why I don't do it very often; I find it hard to keep up; I prefer daily Divine Office.

[TeresaBenedicta]

Concerning penances...

I've always felt a little out of the loop. I've never really had a strong desire to do extra penances, extra fasts, etc. I fast when the Church asks us to, and I do some little penances every now and then. I don't know. I guess I've never felt as though penances are an outlet for how I love God or that my circumstances in life have been, in themselves, something of penance, if I can submit to what the Lord wishes to teach me.

But I always feel a little out of the loop concerning penances.

[vee]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1296848698' post='2208783']
Concerning penances...

I've always felt a little out of the loop. I've never really had a strong desire to do extra penances, extra fasts, etc. I fast when the Church asks us to, and I do some little penances every now and then. I don't know. I guess I've never felt as though penances are an outlet for how I love God or that my circumstances in life have been, in themselves, something of penance, if I can submit to what the Lord wishes to teach me.

But I always feel a little out of the loop concerning penances.
[/quote]

Maybe the word reparation might help which I found defined as the making of amends for wrong or injury done After we go to Confession we must make amends to God for our offenses committed right? By doing extra penances or reparations we may offer those to God for the sins others commit and are never sorry for. Also, as it says in Matthew, I think, some demons can only be expelled by prayer and fasting. If my understanding is correct we can then not only pray and fast for ourselves to be freed from some particular torment or struggle but also on behalf of others so through that God may move to work in their life.

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1296932305' post='2209051']
Maybe the word reparation might help which I found defined as the making of amends for wrong or injury done After we go to Confession we must make amends to God for our offenses committed right? By doing extra penances or reparations we may offer those to God for the sins others commit and are never sorry for. Also, as it says in Matthew, I think, some demons can only be expelled by prayer and fasting. If my understanding is correct we can then not only pray and fast for ourselves to be freed from some particular torment or struggle but also on behalf of others so through that God may move to work in their life.
[/quote]

[url="http://http//www.ewtn.com/library/ANSWERS/PENANCE.HTM"]THIS[/url] seemed a good article.

I do penance. I abstain from meat on Wednesdays and Fast on Fridays. I began, when I learned the CFRs do it. The SsEWs abstain from meat most Wednesdays, and always on Friday.
I offer it up for people I know struggling with the Faith or for the Souls in Purgatory.
I've read those who say you shouldn't go looking for suffering, or asking for it (like Saint Therese, who was glad she didn't ask for it, because she felt that if it were freely given by God He was obliged to send her the graces to bear it. If she'd asked for it, He might'nt have been so obliged). On the other hand, there are saints who looked for penance: Blessed Kateri (thorns in her bed, among other things), Saint Jean Vianney (potatoes!) and lots of others.

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1296795616' post='2208524']
I personally have started to really be careful with my time for this very reason. Again, so much more I want to share but I'm falling asleep. More later...
[/quote]


How so, if I may inquire?
I mean, how do you budget your time? In favor of spending less time with loved ones, or more (like my family wants to do; spend as much time with me as they can before they must give me up!)?