Stay At Home Mums.

[Lilllabettt]

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Edited February 3, 2011 by Lilllabettt

[Maggyie]

[quote name='apparently' timestamp='1296695834' post='2208018']
i know what she said and i don't mean to be rude, but, my point is money isn't everything.
Quality time or family togetherness is valuable too. it is difficult for me to put what i,m saying into words --- being poor financially does not necessarily mean "poor in spirit" or something like that
[/quote]

I know what you're getting at, but Catherine is right that money problems can make childhood smell of elderberries. I don't mean being problems as in "Mom and Dad can't afford to get me an I-pod touch," I mean problems like getting visits from the repo man or having creditors calling constantly. Kids can sense the stress their parents are under and they tend to take that into themselves. My mother was only able to work sporadically (not by choice; she's partially disabled) and it made life tough for all of us. Although we never had the repo man... almost, though.

[CatherineM]

I think the main thing I would have liked to have had financially, is the money for Catholic highschool tuition. Not just because I would have preferred that to the education I received at the over-crowded public school (where the teachers were also on strike for half my senior year), but because I got separated from all my friends, that I'd gone to school with and played sports with for 8 years.

[Cherie]

I think the whole issue should be prayerfully considered by each woman in her situation.

If something ever happened to my husband, I would not be able to support my son or any future children. I don't have a degree, and in today's world, if you want an income on which to support a family you need one. I have worked as a secretary, but the income as a secretary wouldn't be enough to support my family. I entered the convent at 18, which was a stupid move to all my teachers and some of my family and friends since it meant I wouldn't get a college education. But I knew it was what God wanted, and the time I spent in the convent shaped who I am today. I don't regret a single second of being there. Once I left and later met my future husband, I gave up going back to school. Why? Because I didn't want to incur debt, I didn't really want to go, and more importantly after prayerfully considering the situation I felt it was what God wanted me to do, and I decided to trust in His Providence. That's not saying that women who get a degree as a "back up" aren't following God's Providence for them; not at all - on the contrary, each person must discern God's will for themselves, and that very well could be God's will for them. My intellect would have "allowed" me to go much further in formal education, but I chose not to because it just didn't fit. This was God's will for me. If something ever happens, thankfully I have family who will be able to help me.

I do believe that every woman should be well-read, and continue to pursue some form of self-betterment through reading or lessons or another way. Examples to me would be things like learning an instrument, or a yoga class, or reading a history book, or reading classic literature, or learning a language. I also think it's a great asset for women to be taught how to cook, clean, and sew. A lot of that is lost nowadays, and it's a shame.

For me, I tend to think that mothering lends itself to staying at home to raise children. I realize many women simply [i]can't [/i]do that. Many women who are very dear to me, including my own mother, [i]couldn't.[/i] I am grateful beyond words that I can. Statistics on day care, and statistics on both parents working outside the home just reinforce the idea to me that the ideal environment for raising children is with a caregiver, preferably a mother, who stays at home. In today's world, where there is so much dysfunction, often that [i]isn't[/i] the ideal situation. Not every family would "fit the mold" for that. And some women who are mothers have an emotional or psychological need to work outside the home. There are all sorts of legitimate reasons why a mother must work outside the home. And yes, I'm sure the children will turn out JUST fine!!! But I think there are many situations in which a family could have the mother stay home to raise the children, and it would be better for the children, but they don't because 1) the husband does not support the idea, or 2) a wife doesn't want to for selfish reasons.

[Archaeology cat]

I agree, Cherie. Yes, I have a BA & MA. I'm still not all that employable in my field. If, God forbid, something were to happen to my husband, I'm not sure what I'd do. I suppose I could apply to work for SSA like my MIL, but I don't know. I don't regret my degrees, despite the debt; I choose the field because I love archaeology, not because I thought it was lucrative. So yes, education (formal or otherwise) is important for mothers, I think. The library is my friend.

[tinytherese]

How about stay at home dad's? Maybe he's more nurturing or also good with the kids and or mom can make enough money to support the family. Ah and now I'm thinking of the movie Mr. Mom.


Also, I thought of something. Why should anyone look down on a stay at home mom if it is best for her and her family's situation? Does anyone have a problem with a teenager getting paid to babysit or a nanny who take care of children for a career? Probably not and yet just because a stay at home mom isn't paid to do it she is somehow different from them? Also, people who say that being a SAM is staying at home doing nothing, then they must not realize what it's like to take care of kids! It IS work.

[add]

MY MOM IS PRICELESS

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ[/media]

and she also cooked, cleaned , did the shopping, laundry and a million things more (besides giving birth).

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1296982876' post='2209278']
How about stay at home dad's? Maybe he's more nurturing or also good with the kids and or mom can make enough money to support the family. Ah and now I'm thinking of the movie Mr. Mom.


Also, I thought of something. Why should anyone look down on a stay at home mom if it is best for her and her family's situation? Does anyone have a problem with a teenager getting paid to babysit or a nanny who take care of children for a career? Probably not and yet just because a stay at home mom isn't paid to do it she is somehow different from them? Also, people who say that being a SAM is staying at home doing nothing, then they must not realize what it's like to take care of kids! It IS work.
[/quote]
Seconded. My husband's father was the one who stayed home until the youngest was in school, and then he went to work. While the kids were still breastfeeding, my MIL came home on her breaks to nurse the baby. Part of this arrangement was because my MIL's job paid more and had good benefits, but she also enjoys working. I was rather surprised when she retired, actually.

And yes, being a stay-at-home-parent is definitely work. I may not get a salary, but that doesn't mean it isn't important and rewarding work.

[add]

[size="5"][color="#0000ff"]Home is where your mom is[/color][/size]

[CatherineM]

My dad would have make a great stay at home. Infinitely better than my mom did. He was the main nurturer between the two.

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='Ed Normile' timestamp='1296626431' post='2207686']
I have only ever seen stay at home mums, I guess the ones in a pot could be prtable but the ones we put in the ground always stay right there!

A fine example of stay at home mums.

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3524/3924846996_e82b6491c9.jpg[/img]

ed
[/quote]

I LOL'D!

If we're ever able to have kids I'm thankful to be in a career where I could work from home, which is probably what I'd do.

Everyone's situation is different. I think spouses just have to decide together what's overall best for your family. Having mom at home isn't a thing of the past, or at least it doesn't have to be, but I do think that the economics have changed and in some places it is a lot harder for people to get by on one breadwinner than it used to be, especially in the past few years where people either lost their jobs or couldn't be as discriminating about what sort of jobs were available for them to work in. A lot of it also depends on what part of the world you live in as cost of living varies from place to place. Husband and I live in the greater London area and the cost of living is downright vulgar. The cost of electricity went up quite a bit recently in our parts and housing alone is so ridiculous we don't plan on staying here.

My mom was a stay at home mom but it wasn't entirely by choice. When we were a little older and in school, she had wanted to find work in her field of study but it was hard to come by. She kept her own little arts and crafts business in the house though. I don't know if that really paid a lot of bills but with us running around the house I think it helped keep her sane.

Edited February 7, 2011 by Ash Wednesday

[Ash Wednesday]

What is this garbage? Double post.

Edited February 7, 2011 by Ash Wednesday

[add]

[quote name='apparently' timestamp='1296995511' post='2209296']
[size="5"][color="#0000ff"]Home is where your mom is[/color][/size]
[/quote]

double post

[TheresaGrace]

[quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1296533579' post='2207297']
During mine and my brother's younger years, my mom didn't work at all. Once we were in school, she either worked in the school cafeteria or found another job for which she'd be home by the time our bus dropped us off. Even now, with my brother being 21 and I a senior, she's still home by the time I get home from school. (Except I do a much much bigger bulk of the chores now lol)
[/quote]



Audrey Grace Maria Faustina!! Thou shalt not lie!!! You do chores?!?! LoL[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/crazy.gif[/img]

[TheresaGrace]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/like2.gif[/img]



[quote name='apparently' timestamp='1298543107' post='2215190']
double post
[/quote]