Scrupulous Conscience

[Scrupulous]

It started when I moved to a different place....I started to feel really sad and felt like everything I did was a sin ( ex. sitting down a certain way, watching TV a certain time) It started light...I could deal with conforming myself to what I felt was "Gods will" for me, but I still beat myself up for every little thing. Then it got WORSE. I started thinking thoughts about the Blessed Mother and Jesus that no one should think.

It was random. I would be doing something then all of a sudden I say a blasphemy to the Lord or Mary...it was a daily thing that im still kinda going through now. I recently read a post saying that blasphamizing to the Holy Spirit was an unforgivable sin...which really freaked me out even more. I feel like going to confession everyday. It would get to a point where I go to confession, then I start thinking these things again, then I dont end up going to Communion because I feel too guilty. I read somewhere thats its called a "scrupulous conscience" and thats its not a sin when you dont consent to these thoughts...but I still find myself praying every second hoping that Jesus and Mary would forgive me for the things that pop up...I've gotten really close to my church these past few months, but I still feel like im swearing at Jesus and Mary for absolutely no reason at all.

Sorry for the long intro, but I feel like Jesus and Mary and the Holy Spirit cant forgive me....

[CatherineM]

Have you thought about seeing a counselor or discussing this with your physician? There may be something else going on than just a Scrupulous Conscience. People that blurt out obscenities that they don't intend could be suffering from Tourette's Syndrome. Some of your thinking patterns sound like you might be suffering from some Obsessive Compulsive thinking. I'm not a professional, but deal with people every day who have some of the issues you've discussed. It couldn't hurt to have a good check-up. Sometimes major changes in life, like moving, can set things off that we would never expect.

[Chamomile]

Peace be with you & welcome! I apologize in advance for the short reply to a very serious problem, but this is all I can offer right now.



First, you are definitely forgiven if you confess your sins, have contrition, and a firm purpose to change your life. God's mercy is greater than the greatest sins you could ever commit - we are only creatures, and He is infinite! Try reading [i]I Believe in Love[/i], which is based on a retreat centered on St. Therese's little way. Also pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet & the Rosary if you don't already.


Second, find a priest you can talk to regularly, maybe a spiritual director. He can go more deeply into your past and give you practical advice to overcome this with God's grace. Or he can let you know if you need to seek some other kind of help.


Third, the "unforgivable sin" is the refusal to accept God's call to conversion - which is rejecting the Holy Spirit. So, either refusing to ask for forgiveness or refusing to accept God's mercy. This has been how the unforgivable sin has been explained to me - maybe someone else can give a better explanation.


Fourth, it doesn't hurt to often make the Sign of the Cross or bless yourself with Holy Water, as these are Sacramentals and thus aids to holiness.



I'm praying for you!

[Sternhauser]

Scrupulous,

Slow down, put your trust in Jesus, who loves you and wants you to get to heaven, and who knows you love him, and in these commandments, not yourself. Scrupulosity is spiritual hypochondria. It's a real problem and a difficult problem, but one that you can and will overcome, do you understand?

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm"]Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous[/url]

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm"]Another resource from the same solid organization.[/url]

~Sternhauser

Edited January 24, 2011 by Sternhauser

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295847399' post='2203706']
Scrupulous,

Slow down, put your trust in Jesus, who loves you and wants you to get to heaven, and who knows you love him, and in these commandments, not yourself. Scrupulosity is spiritual hypochondria. It's a real problem and a difficult problem, but one that you can and will overcome, do you understand?

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm"]Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous[/url]

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm"]Another resource from the same solid organization.[/url]

~Sternhauser
[/quote]
who are you and what have you done with sternhauser?

but seriously, good advice....as someone who has struggled with scrupulousity - the best advice is to stay far, far away from web forums.

[Maximilianus]

[quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295847399' post='2203706']
Scrupulous,

Slow down, put your trust in Jesus, who loves you and wants you to get to heaven, and who knows you love him, and in these commandments, not yourself. Scrupulosity is spiritual hypochondria. It's a real problem and a difficult problem, but one that you can and will overcome, do you understand?

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm"]Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous[/url]

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm"]Another resource from the same solid organization.[/url]

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

This. I'm a vet of the scrupulosity war...I'm still fighting it. Sternhauser's advice is solid.

Edited January 24, 2011 by Maximilianus

[Sternhauser]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1295847952' post='2203707']
who are you and what have you done with sternhauser?
[/quote]

I killed him, and ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

~Sternhauser

[tnavarro61]

[quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295847399' post='2203706']
Scrupulous,

Slow down, put your trust in Jesus, who loves you and wants you to get to heaven, and who knows you love him, and in these commandments, not yourself. Scrupulosity is spiritual hypochondria. It's a real problem and a difficult problem, but one that you can and will overcome, do you understand?

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm"]Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous[/url]

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm"]Another resource from the same solid organization.[/url]

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

Great articles, Sternhauser.

[Luigi]

I sponsored an RCIA candidate once. When we discussed the sacrament of Penance, the priest said something that really stuck with me: Jesus would have forgiven even Judas Isacriot, if Judas had asked.

If Jesus could forgive Judas, He can forgive anything you do.

[Guest]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1295879275' post='2203767']
I sponsored an RCIA candidate once. When we discussed the sacrament of Penance, the priest said something that really stuck with me: Jesus would have forgiven even Judas Isacriot, if Judas had asked.

If Jesus could forgive Judas, He can forgive anything you do.
[/quote]

[Papist]

[quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295847399' post='2203706']
Scrupulous,

Slow down, put your trust in Jesus, who loves you and wants you to get to heaven, and who knows you love him, and in these commandments, not yourself. Scrupulosity is spiritual hypochondria. It's a real problem and a difficult problem, but one that you can and will overcome, do you understand?

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm"]Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous[/url]

[url="http://mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm"]Another resource from the same solid organization.[/url]

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

I agree with Sternhauser.........Did I say that?...

Also, here is a really good article that was in This Rock magazine. [url="http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2000/0012fea2.asp"]http://www.catholic....00/0012fea2.asp[/url]

Edited January 24, 2011 by Papist

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Scrupulous' timestamp='1295835117' post='2203635']
It started when I moved to a different place....I started to feel really sad and felt like everything I did was a sin ( ex. sitting down a certain way, watching TV a certain time) It started light...I could deal with conforming myself to what I felt was "Gods will" for me, but I still beat myself up for every little thing. Then it got WORSE. I started thinking thoughts about the Blessed Mother and Jesus that no one should think.

It was random. I would be doing something then all of a sudden I say a blasphemy to the Lord or Mary...it was a daily thing that im still kinda going through now. I recently read a post saying that blasphamizing to the Holy Spirit was an unforgivable sin...which really freaked me out even more. I feel like going to confession everyday. It would get to a point where I go to confession, then I start thinking these things again, then I dont end up going to Communion because I feel too guilty. I read somewhere thats its called a "scrupulous conscience" and thats its not a sin when you dont consent to these thoughts...but I still find myself praying every second hoping that Jesus and Mary would forgive me for the things that pop up...I've gotten really close to my church these past few months, but I still feel like im swearing at Jesus and Mary for absolutely no reason at all.

Sorry for the long intro, but I feel like Jesus and Mary and the Holy Spirit cant forgive me....
[/quote]

When I was younger, I went through a crippling bout of religious scrupulosity. What you are describing is exactly some of the things that occurred to me. I was blessed, in that, my dad's best friend was a priest in my parish, and he took the time to counsel me through this period in my life. He remained my spiritual director for the next 15 years of my life! He pretty much became "my conscience," meaning, that he took total responsibility for my sins. All I had to do was come to him once a week and tell him my bizarre sins, and he would tell me "no, you did not do that...no, you did not do that either," as if he was going down a checklist. I had to put my total trust in him, and recognize, had I really been sinning, my sins were no longer my responsibility but my spiritual director's. After much prayer, and an experience that I can only describe as Heavenly intervention, I was released from the trap of scruples, and able to move on. I still get a little tinge of scruples now and then, but most of the time, I find I am free of guilt. I will pray for you.

[Seven77]

scrupulous was my middle name... lately it's trying to make a comeback. anyway, what helps me is to trust God loves me... also get a good priest spiritual director pronto!

[Sarah147]

These can be "instrusive thoughts" and could develop into a mental condition, so you might see a psychiatrist or experienced councellor. You may need to be councelled in thinking correctly, as people can fall into wrong, distorted views about everything. I know a great book my councellor lent me, and I could look it up if you want. It helps you examine your thoughts and correct your thinking.

I've had some scrupulousity and it's no fun. There was an examine of conscience by the Militia of the Immaculata (can't get my hands on it anymore) and it really helped me through it. It would have you examine the day looking at how God looks at you with love, and you see where you failed to love him, etc.

Work on growing in trust and faith. Try to relax and not fall into "holier than Thou" way. Work on falling in love with God; show affection, laughter, smiles to loved ones. Take life lovingly and simply.

You'll get through it. It does pass.

[Winchester]

There's a possibility scrupulosity itself is sinful...