Why Is There A Lack Of Information

[ksterling]

Here's the thing that bothers me about the Sisters of Mary website. They announced that 22 women entered last year. They include a vocation story for each one. As postulants leave, their vocation stories are deleted. I don't like the fact that lurkers (like me) know when each person leaves. If it was me, I would feel bad that everyone would know that I did not persevere - yes, yes, I know - God might call you to something else - but it bothers me that the sisters post this information. I noted that Nashville does not. They post pictures and announce the number, but you wouldn't know when a particular person leaves the postulancy or novitiate. I think that approach better respects a person's privacy and I much prefer it. Am I just being overly sensitive (or perhaps it's my own fear of failure when I enter somewhere.)

Kat

Edited January 24, 2011 by ksterling

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='ksterling' timestamp='1295905942' post='2203928']
Here's the thing that bothers me about the Sisters of Mary website. They announced that 22 women entered last year. They include a vocation story for each one. As postulants leave, their vocation stories are deleted. I don't like the fact that lurkers (like me) know when each person leaves. If it was me, I would feel bad that everyone would know that I did not persevere - yes, yes, I know - God might call you to something else - but it bothers me that the sisters post this information. I noted that Nashville does not. They post pictures and announce the number, but you wouldn't know when a particular person leaves the postulancy or novitiate. I think that approach better respects a person's privacy and I much prefer it. Am I just being overly sensitive (or perhaps it's my own fear of failure when I enter somewhere.)

Kat
[/quote]
Following your heart in an attempt to do God's will is never failure, it is only preparation. But I understand what you mean. The CFRs post pictures along the way and if you go back through old stuff, you'll see who continued and who did not. It's normal, I think, that not every girl or woman goes all the way through to become a professed sister of the community. No judgment here.

[Lilllabettt]

Several years ago the DSMME had a picture of the postulant class ... one of them left several weeks later, and she was photoshopped completely out of the photo when they used it later in the year! That I did not like because it is pretending she was never there, or that her time there was not significant enough to be acknowledged. I know I would be hurt/annoyed if my former community just wiped me away, like a mistake. I would rather my picture stay up, rather than they act like there is something to be ashamed of in having left.

This was some time ago when DSMME entrances happened really fast, and people tended to leave fast, too ... and I think the community has made big strides in that regard.
They are new and still figuring out stuff.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1295911298' post='2203972']
Several years ago the DSMME had a picture of the postulant class ... one of them left several weeks later, and she was photoshopped completely out of the photo when they used it later in the year! That I did not like because it is pretending she was never there, or that her time there was not significant enough to be acknowledged. I know I would be hurt/annoyed if my former community just wiped me away, like a mistake. I would rather my picture stay up, rather than they act like there is something to be ashamed of in having left.

This was some time ago when DSMME entrances happened really fast, and people tended to leave fast, too ... and I think the community has made big strides in that regard.
They are new and still figuring out stuff.
[/quote]

first off, i just want to say that we can't really say all this is truth...its just mere speculation. I was there several years ago, and I can say, ours was a tight knit family. To say that the sisters would pretend someone was never there, or that a sister who left was not significant is a gross mis-interpretation of a photo. Some communities deal with the loss of a sister in their own way. I remember it was quite difficult for us to say goodbye. Jesus gathered women from all walks of life, with different personalities, and kept us together as a FAMILY. We all grew to love each other, and I can say with all my heart I would have died for any one of my sisters, had I been given the chance. When sisters left, it was like losing one's arm!!!! I know that seems overly dramatic, but community living, when lived correctly, forges a supernatural bond between you and your sisters.

Photoshopping a sister out of a picture was probably done, just for the mere fact that she was no longer there. No need to keep her in pictures that are supposed to show who is actually there at the moment. I'm not sure what time period you are speaking of, but my class was the first one to have catastrophic losses for the DSMME...hahahaha. Sure, women came and went, but it was pretty rare in the beginning (of which I was a member of one of the earlier classes...)

[size="1"]edited cos i mentioned a personal fact without permission of that person![/size]

Edited January 25, 2011 by dominicansoul

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='ksterling' timestamp='1295905942' post='2203928']
Here's the thing that bothers me about the Sisters of Mary website. They announced that 22 women entered last year. They include a vocation story for each one. As postulants leave, their vocation stories are deleted. I don't like the fact that lurkers (like me) know when each person leaves. If it was me, I would feel bad that everyone would know that I did not persevere - yes, yes, I know - God might call you to something else - but it bothers me that the sisters post this information. I noted that Nashville does not. They post pictures and announce the number, but you wouldn't know when a particular person leaves the postulancy or novitiate. I think that approach better respects a person's privacy and I much prefer it. Am I just being overly sensitive (or perhaps it's my own fear of failure when I enter somewhere.)

Kat
[/quote]

I kind of like it, as I like to keep abreast of who leaves my old community. Than I hunt them down and network with them, and see if they need any help, support, someone to talk to, etc.

Probably Nashville's website shows all the postulant class, without showing who leaves, because they don't really update that information as much as the Ann ARbor Doms do. ONce the Nashies post that news, it stays up and never changes.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1295911298' post='2203972']
This was some time ago when DSMME entrances happened really fast, and people tended to leave fast, too ... and I think the community has made big strides in that regard.
They are new and still figuring out stuff.
[/quote]

I have to add, between all four foundresses you have over 200 hundred years of religious-living experience. Mother A is a legend, and was instrumental in Nashville, as were the other three. In fact, Ann Arbor Doms were founded by the cream of the crop from Nashville. So, I'm not sure how "new" they can possibly be, or what is it they have to figure out? As I see it, they are doing just fine for themselves, and for the Church. Praise God!

[franciscanheart]

So yesterday I was in Mass with a priest who, more often than not, rushes through Mass. He almost forgot to include vocations in the intentions at all.. and when he remembered? He only said, "For an increase in vocations uh to the priesthood..." and moved very quickly on. My heart was sad. The best part of that Mass was the attendance. I feel like it's really growing! There were maybe 40 or so people there.

A group said the rosary after Mass. I bet they prayed for all of us.

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1295985388' post='2204232']
I have to add, between all four foundresses you have over 200 hundred years of religious-living experience. Mother A is a legend, and was instrumental in Nashville, as were the other three. In fact, Ann Arbor Doms were founded by the cream of the crop from Nashville. So, I'm not sure how "new" they can possibly be, or what is it they have to figure out? As I see it, they are doing just fine for themselves, and for the Church. Praise God!
[/quote]


It does not matter if the foundress is Mother Assumpta, or my former Mother Superior (also a superb former ND) or John Bosco or St. Teresa ... all new communities face very specific challenges that come with being new. It takes time, perseverance, and grace to discover the way God intends for them to do certain things. That is why a key ingredient for anyone discerning entering a newer community is flexibility.

Founding a new community is hard. They do not just fall from the sky in a pre-packaged box.

[Lilllabettt]

p.s., ds, I left out some important words in my post on the photo shopped picture. I didn't mean to say "it is" this way ... I meant to say "it feels like to me" ...
I am not the only one who noticed the photo-shopping ... I strongly suspect that they heard about the notice people took, and my guess is it will probably not happen again. Next time they will probably just snap another picture. Which is great. Life is a learning experience.

[Digitaldame]

Interesting post. I'd always thought the Church in the USA did a better job of recognizing and promoting women's vocations than most other parts of the Church. In the UK diocese to which I belong not only is there nothing about vocations for women on the website, there isn't even a list of which women's religious orders and congregations exist in the diocese. You can find an address if you happen to know roughly where they live, but otherwise women religious are invisible. I wrote to the webmaster about it and, guess what, I'm still waiting for a reply! Seriously, the invisibility of women religious is a big handicap to those discerning and it's difficult to know what we can do about it. Most of us (religious, I mean) have web sites; there are vocation portals; but without a sense at parish level that ALL vocations are valuable, priesthood, religious life, marriage, singledom, I think it's going to be hard on some people to find their place in the Church. If you have any suggestions about what we who are religious can do about it, please say. I know the novice mistress here gets a lot of general enquiries about religious life for women, but we're not Vocation Sisters and it would surely be more helpful to have something more focused.

[Sarah147]

In response to the original post, it's just awful. A parish I went to even listed in there to contact the vocation person for my Bishop's office, and after I did so, they were pretty clueless as to how to help. They didn't recommend much, and the places they did suggest weren't all that good. Not much of direction/guidance, etc.

There was a sheet in another parish that had a slip, where you fill out "interested in sister/priest/brother/deacon/etc." and send it off. They sent some recommendations for some not so good places.

So, I've learned to stick to the guidance of good spiritual directors, phatmass, and my own intuition/God's guidance. I'm for Traditional places, habit, 20s/30s, faithful to the Holy Father, etc. I've run into some very laid back, untraditional places; a place that busied themselves too much and were falling from the original rule, as I saw it; as well as some "we think we're holier than the Pope" places; so, I'm learning the right balance. It takes a lot of discerning, talking, visiting, reflecting--for me anyway.

Edited January 30, 2011 by JoyfulLife

[Totally Franciscan]

JoyfulLife's post was very true. I cannot stress enough how important it is to ask questions and a lot of them. I had an extremely bad experience with a community that on the outside seemed very holy, very well balanced, yet there were "secrets" on the inside that I didn't know of until I entered. On the inside, those "secrets" were made to look like a positive rather than the sinful negative that they were. Those under solemn vows never contradicted the powers that be under the name of obedience. The bishop eventually shut the community down, and those under solemn profession scattered to the wind. Very, very sad. Please be extremely cautious about any community. Phatmass is a wonderful entity whereby one can ask for information of various orders from people who have been in those communities or know them very well.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Digitaldame' timestamp='1296406275' post='2206712']
... but we're not Vocation Sisters ...
[/quote]
What do you mean by that? I'm lost...

[Digitaldame]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' timestamp='1296452388' post='2206937']
What do you mean by that? I'm lost...
[/quote]
In the UK there used to be a Congregation of Sisters who devoted themselves to providing information about different religious orders and congregations. They were called Vocation Sisters and did their best to help discerners find the right place. I don't think they exist any more. Because our web site is fairly user- friendly, we get a lot of general questions about vocations, including vocations to active Congregations which we're not qualified to answer. Didn't meant to be cryptic!

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Digitaldame' timestamp='1296480021' post='2206984']
In the UK there used to be a Congregation of Sisters who devoted themselves to providing information about different religious orders and congregations. They were called Vocation Sisters and did their best to help discerners find the right place. I don't think they exist any more. Because our web site is fairly user- friendly, we get a lot of general questions about vocations, including vocations to active Congregations which we're not qualified to answer. Didn't meant to be cryptic!
[/quote]
Ooooohhhh. Well that makes sense.