When Fellowship Is Absent

[SuscipeMeDomine]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1295412781' post='2201675']One of the things she said holding her back was the apparent lack of fellowship in the Catholic Church. She grew up in a church that was very social, spending a lot of time together both before and after services, picnics, etc.[/quote]

I just had someone drop out of RCIA for exactly this reason. She said she wanted to make friends beyond the people she met in RCIA but apparently that's not what Catholics do.

She got involved with the people who serve coffee and donuts after Mass, but she wanted more than that. She was accustomed to a church where people got together for purely social activities during the week. I couldn't point her to anything like that in our parish. If people get together during the week it's for some purpose -- Scripture Study or a small Christian community or some other kind of targeted activity. We don't come together just to eat and talk.

For myself, I find the people I see socially are people I've met through church activities. But if we get together for dinner, it's just us deciding to do that, not some kind of activity the parish has organized.

One thing that conversations like this do is remind me that when I see someone having coffee and donuts that I don't know, I need to get outside my comfort zone and introduce myself. It may turn out that I'll be embarrassed because I'm introducing myself to a long-time parishioner who usually attends a different Mass, But on the other hand, I may be welcoming a stranger who really needs that welcome.

[sixpence]

At home in New England, there were a couple of close families we talked to, but that was about it. At Univ Delaware, there was always cookie and milk after mass, and people would introduce themselves, but not a ton. Here at Rutgers, nobody talks to you after mass if you go to the actual church, but if you attend one of the smaller masses which are offered in scattered meeting rooms around campus, and you stick around afterward, people will be very friendly. One girl introduced herself and talk to me for at least 20 minutes!