Children And Mass, Part Two

[Lil Red]

so, what is a parent supposed to do? i don't believe that parents and children should be separated at Mass, nor do I believe that children should not go to Mass (I think they learn better how to behave when they actually go to Mass). So, what should parents with small children do? go to two Masses? go to Mass without the children (I don't think that's an option)? what counts as going to Mass? If you hear most of the readings, but none of the Liturgy of the Eucharist? If you hear part of the Liturgy of the Eucharist?

(btw, i have not been able to receive regardless because I haven't been to Confession, so no worries there.)

[Cam42]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1295240194' post='2200919']
so, what is a parent supposed to do? i don't believe that parents and children should be separated at Mass, nor do I believe that children should not go to Mass (I think they learn better how to behave when they actually go to Mass). So, what should parents with small children do? go to two Masses? go to Mass without the children (I don't think that's an option)? what counts as going to Mass? If you hear most of the readings, but none of the Liturgy of the Eucharist? If you hear part of the Liturgy of the Eucharist?

(btw, i have not been able to receive regardless because I haven't been to Confession, so no worries there.)
[/quote]

I would counsel that you go to another Mass. The only thing it will cost you is time and you will have the ability at that point to actually participate (participatio actuosa) at Holy Mass.

When I was a child, my parents would go to separate Masses. Dad would take me to one Mass and Mom would take my brother. The next week we would flop parents. Since my brother and I are only 17 months apart, until we got to grade school (kindergarden and 1st grade), it worked best...we behaved and Mom and Dad could actually participate (participatio actuosa). That was on the recommendation of Mons. Walker, from St. Paul the Apostle, in Memphis, TN (and in 1973 thru 1979).

I think that Mons. Walker was on to something....

[CatherineM]

As a mom and veteran of the "wiggle in the pew" wars, I had a few things I wanted to add. If you are in the cry room, you aren't missing mass. There were times I couldn't hear too well back there, but I'm sure that is the case for people who don't hear well in the first place, or don't speak the language. That doesn't mean they aren't participating in the mass. If your parish doesn't have a cry room, complain loud and long until you have one.

Here's a quote from Bishop Kevin Manning, the former bishop of the Diocese of Parramatta in Australia, printed in Catholic Outlook, August 2005:

[quote]Because attendance at the Sunday Mass is so important for our spiritual good, I can only wonder why people would quibble whether it is an obligation or not.

However, is only for a very good reason that people would be excused from the Sunday obligation. It boils down to this: if you can attend Sunday Mass you must attend Sunday Mass. If you can't, and you have a good reason, then you don't have to do the impossible.

In the past there were distinctions made about being present for the Offertory, Consecration and Communion and if you were there for those three you satisfied the Sunday obligation.

Today, it is much more simple; you have an obligation to attend the Sunday Mass. If you want to start quibbling about being there for important parts, have a good talk to your Confessor - your soul needs it.

Some of the reasons that would excuse from the Sunday obligation are: sickness, distance, or having to care for the children. [b]It is logical to assume that if any of those take away the obligation to attend Sunday Mass entirely, they would also be a legitimate reason for arriving late, or leaving early[/b].[/quote] Emphasis mine.

What finally worked for me was to have him wear a nice suit. It was as if he didn't want to get dirty, or felt too special to act like a monkey. I thought a nice black suit and tie would do the trick. He decided against black and picked out an Italian silk, double breasted suit in a nice olive gray. That kid always was a bit weird.