Lil Red Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295148021' post='2200640'] While I completely respect your intent, I'm pretty sure he has to be Catholic before he can be a [i]better[/i] Catholic. ~Sternhauser [/quote] oh, come on, she probably didn't know. although, wasn't Hassan baptized Catholic? so he's still Catholic, just not practicing. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295148021' post='2200640'] While I completely respect your intent, I'm pretty sure he has to be Catholic before he can be a [i]better[/i] Catholic. ~Sternhauser [/quote] ahh. wasn't thinking that. thank you. yeah i had no clue lol. Edited January 16, 2011 by AudreyGrace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Catholic Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1295147529' post='2200635'] Oh yeah, it's an awesome story, and lying is OBVIOUSLY the best way to handle this situation. I'm sure that's the groundbreaking advice he was asking for. Honestly, this makes me sick. Show some respect for women. Uphold their dignity as daughters of God. Sure she may have been in the wrong by doing this stuff, but it takes two to tango and it doesn't give you an excuse to blame it all on her and make a joke out of it. Rather than bringing your brother in Christ down, build him up to be a better person and a better Catholic. [/quote] Sounds like he was showing respect for women, and respect for her boyfriend, by seeing where it was going and denying her. If anything this little tart needs to apologize to both Hasan and her boyfriend, I'm sure he'd love to hear about what she's been up to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sternhauser Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1295149440' post='2200652'] oh, come on, she probably didn't know. although, wasn't Hassan baptized Catholic? so he's still Catholic, just not practicing. lol [/quote] I didn't get the impression he'd been baptized. And here we are, talking as though he weren't here. Yo, Hassan! Have you received the indelible character of Baptism upon your immortal soul? ~Sternhauser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Catholic Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1295147244' post='2200632'] Not getting drunk in the first place is the smartest move you could ever make. Nothing good happens while you're drunk. At least in your life. ~Sternhauser [/quote] This is false. Just have to avoid dudes who are bigger then you and beer goggles. Drinking whiskey will put you on your butt though, just about every time. It's why I stick to girly drinks and rum+coke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Semper Catholic' timestamp='1295152281' post='2200668'] This is false. Just have to avoid dudes who are bigger then you and beer goggles. Drinking whiskey will put you on your butt though, just about every time. It's why I stick to girly drinks and rum+coke [/quote] Drinking whisky can be done well, it just requires the building of habits and discipline. I enjoy a nice bourbon neat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Semper Catholic' timestamp='1295152281' post='2200668'] This is false. [/quote] You keep saying really dumb things. You sure you haven't been tippin back too many of those cosmos? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1295160239' post='2200695'] You keep saying really dumb things. You sure you haven't been tippin back too many of those cosmos? [/quote] agreed... tee many martoonies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Catholic Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Deal with it Haters. Hasan's friend doesn't get a pass because she got liquored up and has a crappy boyfriend. An absence of male reproductive organs does not mean you shouldn't be responsible for your actions, neither does it mean you should be given a pat on the head and an"oh it's ok." This girl cheated on her boyfriend and tried to take advantage of him. Luckily he was sensible enough to stop her. And now he should apologize? Hasan I'd email her boyfriend and tell him just what kind of girl she really is. Oh and I'm not drunk either, how Christian of you to assume I was. Watched the packers-falcons with my gf and made her some awesome rigatoni and shrimp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 So, a general response. I have been baptized. I've thought it over and I really don't know what I should apologize to her for. I didn't flirt with her. I've never given her any signals, that I am aware of, that I was interested in anything more than friendship. I had no idea what she wanted me in her room for, I assumed we were stopping by to see some friends who had been in there earlier. I honestly didn't register what was happening until her shirt was off. She was driving it and tried to keep things going even after I told her that it wasn't happening because she had a boyfriend. I should not have let things continue but if anyone I think that I owe her boyfriend an apology. But really I'm not interested in assigning blame. It happened. It shouldn't have happened. We were both drunk. I'd rather just move on. I'm going to tell her that tomorrow. I pretty much just want to go back to being friends although obviously that's not totally possible. She was a fairly good friend of mine and we had a very natural relationship because I never got the hint that she wanted anything other than friendship. She's slept in my room plenty of times when she had roommate trouble and I thought a girl I had a complicated relationship with was just paranoid and insecure for questioning what she was after. So, the friendship is going to be changed. I'm not interested in a relationship with her. She's a pretty girl but a little too meek and subdued for me. The only thing that I can think to apologize I guess for would be allowing it to continue to the extent that this led her to think that I was interested in her. Even then, she was drinking with us. She knew that I had taken in a lot of whiskey and wasn't really in my mind. I'm not going to tell anyone about what happened. A friend of ours asked where we went and I just lied. I told him that we went to her room, hung out for a bit, and then I went in. I do think that she'd be embarrassed and hurt if she knew I told anyone, so that's not going to happen. That's the main reason I'm writing here to get different opinions rather than talking to people I know in real life. Other than that it is up to her. If she wants to be friends I'm interested in that, even though there will now be something between us and, needless to say, we probably won't be drinking together again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ardillacid Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1295137041' post='2200516'] the real sadness is you throwing up whiskey. [/quote] You are my hero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='notardillacid' timestamp='1295172275' post='2200715'] You are my hero [/quote] Well, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sternhauser Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Semper Catholic' timestamp='1295161526' post='2200699'] Hasan's friend doesn't get a pass because she got liquored up and has a crappy boyfriend. An absence of male reproductive organs does not mean you shouldn't be responsible for your actions, neither does it mean you should be given a pat on the head and an"oh it's ok."[/quote] I completely agree with this. [quote]This girl cheated on her boyfriend and tried to take advantage of him. Luckily he was sensible enough to stop her. And now he should apologize?[/quote] I agree he doesn't have much to apologize for, except for his (smaller) role in cooperating, and for being drunk and getting in that situation in the first place. [quote]Oh and I'm not drunk either, how Christian of you to assume I was.[/quote] Semper, when you respond to "Not getting drunk in the first place is the smartest move you could ever make. Nothing good happens when you are drunk" with "This is false. Just have to avoid dudes who are bigger then you and beer goggles," you've pretty much destroyed any claim to say, "Oh and I'm not drunk either, how Christian of you to assume I was," because you've just said, in essence, and contrary to the teaching of the Church, that it's all right to be drunk. It is not all right to be drunk. Getting drunk is grave matter, and can be a mortal sin that sends your soul to hell. Another hint: it's not about "avoiding dudes who are bigger than you." It's also about avoiding dudes who are faster, and who have sharper and/or faster weapons systems. And you have would have no idea who they are. I know, I know, "real men don't use weapons to fight when they're drunk." Here's the reality: it is an unmanly trait to get drunk in the first place, and real men don't participate in recreational barfighting. So there's not much difference if one gets one's neck broken by a "real man," eviscerated by a "real man," or shot by a "real man." And lest you be scandalized, no, I am not assuming that you do participate in recreational barfighting. But your words certainly left that possibility [i]wide[/i] open. ~Sternhauser Edited January 16, 2011 by Sternhauser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 [quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1295130856' post='2200488'] So, I drank last night for the first time since Halloween. I wasn't well dressed and I wasn't looking to go out. I really just wanted to relax with some friends and have a fun night. This plan hit a road bump when a female friend tried to have sex with me. We were going to go outside the dorm with some other friends when she wanted to stop by her dorm. The next thing I knew her tongue was in my mouth and we were on her bed. I was pretty drunk so it got reasonably far when it clicked with me that this was a bad idea. She has a boyfriend, albeit one she is unhappy with, and would probably regret this the next day and I'm really not interested in a relationship with her. So I stopped that. She asked if we could pretend this never happened. I said of course. Then I ended up throwing up from way too much whiskey. So, that was not exactly the night I had planned. I've been asleep for most of the day but when I woke up she had texted me wanting to talk. Which I suppose needs to happen but I'm really not looking forward to it. I have a lot more drama in my life right now than I would like and I'm not really a pro-drama person. The main thing I want to get across is that it's not a big deal, she was drunk, I don't want her to feel awkward or embarrassed around me. Who has any advice? Like specifically from women. What do you think would help her feel like she doesn't need to be awkward? [/quote] you're obviously too sexy. You need to turn it down a notch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) I'll try to forget that you purged good whiskey and reply to your question. You can only atone for your actions. I wouldn't expect her to or insist it. I would only use me/I and not we/us when apologizing. No one can tell you what exactly you need to apologize for. You need to reflect, meditate and pray about that. It needs to be in your own words from your heart, not a canned apology. I see no need for it to be long and drawn out...just make it short, humble and genuine. I would meditate on what is it your conscious telling you that is leading you to apologize. Could it be that you were not strong enough to protect her dignity/purity? If you tell the truth today, you will not have to explain yourself tomorrow. PS - I highly recommend reading the below books. They helped me immensely. Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West If You Really Loved Me by Jason Evert Be a Man! by Father Larry Richards Edited January 16, 2011 by Papist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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