MissyP89 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) I've been wondering if anyone here has ever had an experience where they have had to talk about the directives surrounding Communion with other Christians. I'm referring specifically to a situation where someone who isn't Catholic is attending Mass for the first time, or even a fallen away Catholic who is visiting. More often than not, I've found that there is never an announcement about reception of the Eucharist being closed, even at mixed weddings or Sacraments. Because of this, I've been in a situation more than once where I've had to gently explain that someone shouldn't go up to receive. It usually ends with the person seeming very hurt, offended or confused. I always make an effort to be as gentle and clear as possible, but it always feels very awkward when the general point is "you're not allowed to go." With fallen away Catholics, I have suggested only twice that they abstain unless they go to confession. Once, the person went up anyway. The other person has not returned to Mass with me since, and I have been beating myself up over it. The person who goes up anyway knows very well how I feel because we have discussed it, but I still feel I'm sinning by letting it happen in front of me... Has anyone else ever had to have conversations like these? What did you say, and how did it go? I ask because this weekend there will be a funeral Mass for a gentleman I graduated with. (Please pray for Ryan and his family -- the situation is terribly tragic.) Many of my friends who are fallen away and non-Catholic will be there. One friend, a Pentecostal, asked what to expect, and the awkwardness between us was tangible as I explained closed communion. There never seems to be a way to put it that's not alienating. Edited January 14, 2011 by MissyP89 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Bro. Adam Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) It is never wrong to share the truth, and the Eucharistic celebration is a sign of full communion with Jesus and His Church. You would not walk into another denomination or religion and do something that was reserved to full members of their group, that would be disrespectful. No one has any right to feel offended that the Catholic Church asks that only members in full communion and out of mortal sin receive the Body and Blood of the Lord. That is ridiculous if you think about it from the perspective of other religious bodies. It is just common sense. --- Sorry, this is Bro Adam Edited January 14, 2011 by Mrs. Bro. Adam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 it happened to me with a fallen-away.... the response i got was ... "see, this is why i don't go to Catholic mass, you're so exclusive" i was very indignant!! its not about Us excluding people; its about defending the Eucharist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I just prayed to the Holy Spirit to give me the words (at my sister's wedding Mass). I heard the couple behind me talking about what to do, I just simply turned around and said, "Catholics have closed communion. If you are not Catholic, please do not receive." They were fine with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 I wish it were that easy for me, Red! Usually the next question is "why not?" And then I have to try to explain the Real Presence, which either gets me a blank stare or an eye roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1294972935' post='2199911'] I wish it were that easy for me, Red! Usually the next question is "why not?" And then I have to try to explain the Real Presence, which either gets me a blank stare or an eye roll. [/quote] it helped that i knew them in a very, very general way. also helped that it was in the middle of the wedding Mass, and they have manners. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I told some scottish protestants, distant relatives they should not receive at a family wedding years ago, they replied, " I don't think God would mind" They went up anyway and I felt like screaming to the priest do not allow them to receive, I did not want to disrupt the wedding and I did what I could do already but I still felt like I had failed. ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I actually had this happen a couple of weeks ago while I was getting a hair cut while I was home in WV on break. This one woman was talking about how she went up because, "Communion is Communion and those Papists can't deny me Communion at my own relative's funeral". Another person in the place was entirely aghast because he was Catholic, but he couldn't explain why it wasn't supposed to be as she continued to reiterate that Communion was Communion. I finally spoke up from my chair after shaking my head during the exchange to explain that if one looked at John Chapter Six, Jesus alienated a huge number of His followers by making sure they understood it was truly His body and blood that they were to devour and that the word used in the Greek referred to it quite viscerally in a sense that portrayed gnashing and rending. Then threw in that Catholics believe it to be more than the symbol she did, that it was the real body and blood of Christ. The woman didn't react well, deciding she'd committed idolatry by taking Communion at the Catholic funeral Mass. With my family at any Masses any of them have attended with me, they already knew when I broached the subject from going to friends' weddings and such before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1294969284' post='2199868'] I've been wondering if anyone here has ever had an experience where they have had to talk about the directives surrounding Communion with other Christians. I'm referring specifically to a situation where someone who isn't Catholic is attending Mass for the first time, or even a fallen away Catholic who is visiting. More often than not, I've found that there is never an announcement about reception of the Eucharist being closed, even at mixed weddings or Sacraments. Because of this, I've been in a situation more than once where I've had to gently explain that someone shouldn't go up to receive. It usually ends with the person seeming very hurt, offended or confused. I always make an effort to be as gentle and clear as possible, but it always feels very awkward when the general point is "you're not allowed to go." With fallen away Catholics, I have suggested only twice that they abstain unless they go to confession. Once, the person went up anyway. The other person has not returned to Mass with me since, and I have been beating myself up over it. The person who goes up anyway knows very well how I feel because we have discussed it, but I still feel I'm sinning by letting it happen in front of me... Has anyone else ever had to have conversations like these? What did you say, and how did it go? I ask because this weekend there will be a funeral Mass for a gentleman I graduated with. (Please pray for Ryan and his family -- the situation is terribly tragic.) Many of my friends who are fallen away and non-Catholic will be there. One friend, a Pentecostal, asked what to expect, and the awkwardness between us was tangible as I explained closed communion. There never seems to be a way to put it that's not alienating. [/quote] Can you ask the priest to mention something before Communion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1294976511' post='2199932'] Can you ask the priest to mention something before Communion? [/quote] This is a good idea -- that's actually been my plan for events I have control of since I watched Protestant family go up at my grandfather's funeral a couple years back. I'm not going to Ryan's Mass, though, just the viewing ... and as a rule the priests are difficult to hunt down, unless you walk into the sacristy on them, which I'm not sure is polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjfr1987 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It is sort of an "unwriten rule," I believe to walk into the sacristy either before or after Mass to mention something to the priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 After a recent experience, I have come to the conclusion that this approach might work better than a "Do not..." type of discussion: if a non-Catholic Christian, or non-Catholic, or lax Catholic witnesses or hears a devout Catholic's reverence towards the Eucharist, the individual will follow suit. For example, a friend and I were driving to a funeral Mass together. She is a non-practicing Catholic. It was a bit of a drive and we had to be up early, so she brought some food and candy. She offered me some but I politely declined, and then I added "I would like to receive today, so I have to fast for an hour". I actually could have eaten something, I had the time, but I wanted to test the waters so to speak and see how she would respond. It turns out that because of the awareness I instilled, she did not receive. She actually said it was because I mentioned the fasting, too. It was interesting because there were numerous reasons why she should not have received (i.e. not attending Mass on Sundays or Holy Days) but she specifically (as in, vocally) chose this as her reason. It could be because I was comfortable to acknowledge that if I ate I could not receive, who knows. But I do believe if I had told her straight out "You should not receive today" it would have made her defensive and she would have received anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 When I get the question why? I just explain that is what the word communion means. If you are in communion with the church, you can receive. If you aren't in communion, you can't until you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) ETA: This post was directed to HCF. That's interesting, and there's definitely a less accusing angle to that, which is good. I'll keep that in mind for the future, because this stuff tends to happen to me a lot. I know that in one of the situations I mentioned above, I needed confession and had to abstain; by my example my guest followed suit. As far as visitors go, there's a tendency for people in unfamiliar places to just go with what everyone else is doing...there just never feels like a right time or easy way to bring it up. I have to admit that I generally feel uncomfortable to begin with when it comes to these scenarios, and I guess that would have an impact, too. Thanks for your example -- it was helpful. Edited January 14, 2011 by MissyP89 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudreyGrace Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I have two friends who have been starting to come to Mass and Life Teen with me. One was raised strict Baptist (then fell away) and the other was raised being taught that religion is stupid. One night, they got to asking me questions about Catholicism, and they brought up the issue of "why can't we receive too?" I started with a quick mental prayer, then I gave a 'what if' circumstance regarding another religion. Like... what if you went into a synagogue wanting to wear a tallit (prayer shawl)? The Jews ask non-Jewish visitors not to wear one because wearing one is a sign of obligation to observe Jewish law. Chances are, they wouldn't wear one. This is where you can make the parallel to not being able to receive the Eucharist. Not receiving Communion shows respect to the Catholic community who is faithful to the Church and who went through the process of being able to receive the Sacrament in the first place. Also, I told them about how much I love the Eucharist. It made it more real and personal for them, rather than just something to partake in lightly. Now, they have no problem just sitting in the pew and praying. Granted, I had more time to talk to them about it, and they brought it up. But don't feel guilty if they go up anyways. You tried your best, and in the end they have free will. -Audrey : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now