Scrupulosity And Saying The Rosary

[CreepyCrawler]

I have two questions for ya:

1. I think I'm scrupulous because after I sin (venial) I feel so bad that I feel like God hates me (which I know He doesn't... is that a sin to think God hates you?). Thsi makes it hard to pray or visit the Eucharist b/c I feel like I'm not worthy to do these things. What do I do to become less scrupulous?

2. I have a half-hour commute to school every day and I got sick of the junk on the radio last week and thought, hey I can say the rosary! But it's hard to concentrate on the road and say a rosary at the same time -- not so much meditation going on. Is it still worth it to say the rosary even if I can't meditate deeply on the mysteries?

Thanks!

:locosign: (I have just discovered all the other smileys... I thought this one was cool, too)

[Adeodatus]

1. Even if your sin were mortal, God still loves you. I don't think doubting God's love should be considered a sin too, but it does border on a kind of idolatry. Let me explain. If you held a firm conviction that God gets angry, or hates you, or couldn't love you, then this is a belief in a God who doesn't actually exist. It would also be related to 'despair', that complete lack of hope in God. If you despair of God, then you'll never say you're sorry to Him, never ask to be forgiven. And if you don't want to be forgiven, then God can't forgive you. At the heart of all this is a belief in a God who doesn't exist, that is, the God who couldn't look at you because you're not good enough.

Quite frankly, none of us is good enough for God, none of us is worthy. In fact, even Our Lady is not worthy in this sense. There's is nothing she holds by natural right that holds God in debt to her. She is 'full of grace', but grace is from God, His free gift of Himself. No creature can merit his or her redemption. As Scripture says, 'It was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us', and elsewhere Jesus says, 'I came not to call the righteous, but sinners'.

So should this leave you feeling even worse? Not at all! It should give you confidence that God truly loves us, and has loved us from eternity. This doesn't give us the right to sin and think, 'Oh, it'll be OK coz' God loves me.' God's love for us is not an excuse to sin. But it is a strong motive to repent. In fact, we only repent because God's grace is working in us to help us repent.

How do you get less scrupulous? Well, the next time you feel unworthy, acknowledge that you are unworthy! But instead of that keeping you away from God, use it to draw nearer. Think about the fact that you have life and being. You only exist because God loves you. I'm not suggesting that God will make you vanish from existence if He should stop loving you someday. It won't happen, because God's love for you is eternal, because He is eternal. He doesn't change His mind. He doesn't regret creating you, He doesn't regret the gifts He gives you. He delights in doing so, and He delights in loving you. So the simple fact that you exist is the first proof to you that God loves you, no matter what. Then go before Him, before the Eucharist if possible, and give Him your heart. Let Him take you and don't hold back. Let Him love you, because He already loves you whether you like it or not!

2. Yes, the Rosary is worth saying even in those circumstances. It's also good to pray it when you can meditate properly, but it's better to pray it than not. When you're on the bus and getting distracted, use those distractions as an aid to prayer. I mean, if your prayer gets interrupted by people or the things you see, pray for those people or situations using the Rosary. Maybe it's God's way of getting you to pray for these new people and situations you might have otherwise missed.

Peace to you....