NewReformation Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 The Guys' Rules > > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. > Finally, the guys' side of the story. > (I must admit, it's pretty good.) > > We always hear "the rules" from the female side. > Now here are the rules from the male side. > These are our rules! > Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. > We need it up, you need it down. > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon > or the changing of the tides. Let it be. > > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. > And no, we are never going to think of it that way. > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > 1. Ask for what you want. > Let us be clear on this one: > Subtle hints do not work! > Strong hints do not work! > Obvious hints do not work! > Just say it! > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. > That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. > See a doctor. > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit or a vegtable something like that. > We have no idea what mauve is. > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. > > 1. You have enough clothes. > > 1. You have too many shoes. I don't make the rules, I just follow them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willguy Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I've seen these before, but there was something on the bottom that said- "Yes, I know I'll end up sleeping on the couch for this, but I don't mind. It's like camping." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popestpiusx Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I like it. That's hilarious. A little crass, but hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeTeamFamily Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 yea it is funny....some of them are a bit stereotypical but overall pretty darn true.......[crosses fingers and hopes the girls dont get mad at the guys for laughing] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Bro. Adam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 We women have two rules, and two rules only: [b]1. Women are always right[/b] As simple as that. [b]2. In the even that we [women] are found to be wrong, refer to rule number one.[/b] Men would be wise to remember these two rules. Life will be so much easier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Bro. Adam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 BTW- Couldn't find any nicer smilies with a list..so...I had to settle for the evil looking smilies with the lists Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 [quote name='Mrs. Bro. Adam' date='Apr 20 2004, 11:19 AM'] We women have two rules, and two rules only: [b]1. Women are always right[/b] As simple as that. [b]2. In the even that we [women] are found to be wrong, refer to rule number one.[/b] Men would be wise to remember these two rules. Life will be so much easier! [/quote] In your dreams, honeychile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 it's true, dave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Bro. Adam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 [quote name='Dave' date='Apr 20 2004, 12:21 PM'] In your dreams, honeychile! [/quote] Naw...try reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benedict_x Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Tsk Tsk Tsk...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Bro. Adam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 oh my. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovechrist Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 wow, try that for some love.. i hadn't seen those rules before.. now so many things make sense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 [quote name='NewReformation' date='Apr 20 2004, 09:54 AM'] > 1. Ask for what you want. > Let us be clear on this one: > Subtle hints do not work! > Strong hints do not work! > Obvious hints do not work! > Just say it! [/quote] i love it...it's so true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now