Orthodox Women's Communities Accepting Vocations Over 35

[LaboureSociety]

I think she's particularly interested in cloistered, but please post all.

Thanks!

[LadyOfSorrows]

I think the Carmelites in La Plata take later vocations

[TradMom]

+ Praised be Jesus Christ!

This has been a subject that has been discussed at length in this phorum. I know that at one time there was a yahoo group dedicated to this topic but I am not sure if it is still in existence. I also know that someone put together a website on this: http://consecrated-life-org.maritzia.com/orders-in-the-us/communities-accepting-women-over-45/

This subject is very dear to my heart as my own (blood) sister desperately desired consecrated life as a cloistered woman and could not find a community that would accept her - she was "past the age limit" and at that time, there was not the benefit of internet searches! Many of you know she found her peace in England as a cloistered Carmelite.

I firmly believe that our loving and merciful Lord is outside of time (which is an accepted truth of our Faith); therefore - there is no "correct" time nor place to be called. We all (I hope!) experience ongoing conversion on a daily basis, and for some of us, that means we hear the call of the Lord later than sooner. I do not believe that only younger women can flourish and grow in community; Laudem wrote the most excellent post about this very topic. I am computer challenged, but perhaps someone can find it and repost it here. I couldn't possibly do her words justice, but I encourage all to read it.

Some of our most beloved saints experienced "the call" late in life - St. Augustine immediately comes to mind! - but really, there are so many, it would be impossible to name them all.

In closing, I must be honest in telling saying that I cringe when I hear of communities restricting women - sight unseen - based on age! When I see this restriction, I have to wonder what is exactly about the life and community that ONLY young women "can make it" - in a healthy environment - dedicated to leading souls to Christ with patience, kindness and common sense, ANY healthy (which obviously includes mental/emotional/psychological/spiritual health) woman should fit in. The red flag immediately rises when I hear that "older" women with "life experience" don't do well. The first thing I think about is the fact that perhaps someone with life experience (also known as common sense) would catch on to an unhealthy regime. At one time, I wrote quite a long post on questions to ask when considering religious life and this topic was covered very thoroughly. I have heard all the reasons - and the most common one is that "older women" do not adept easily to community life, the sacrifices, etc. Again - Laudem covered this perfectly - BUT I must say this is not true as many of the great Religious throughout our history and even unto today have entered extremely severe (as in strict) communities and flourished with abandon. As I type this, I wonder what would have happened had the Carthusians said, "NO!" to seventy year old (yes, that's right...70!) Thomas Verner Moore.

This cringe continues when I hear the term: "belated" vocation. No vocation is belated, for GOD HIMSELF calls in His own time, in His own way and since this is a supernatural experience/call, we cannot ever begin to understand the why's, the how's, the if's, the and's or but's. And so I say this to all reading this - most importantly for those "past" the age restrictions so many communities are placing on their vocations today: Do not give up. Live your dream and follow God's call. It may very well take you outside of the United States, but do not give up! Our God is a loving, gentle, gracious God. He will make your path known to you if it is truly His desire to claim you as His own, and the road will unfold as it should. And should you find - along the way - that living life as a consecrated religious woman in community was not meant to be - do not take it as a failure or lack of response. I have seen many Vocation Directors talk about "lost vocations" and I cannot agree with this term for we are all precious to Our Lord - and nobody else can determine whom has a vocation and who doesn't - I have come to believe that some who feel this sense of CALL (and then spend time looking for the right community) are indeed being CALLED, but not necessarily to religious life per se, but to a closer, more intimate relationship with Him. The very act of listening, of inviting Him in, of wanting to respond with a YES is a loving and generous response to Our Lord and I believe - wholeheartedly - that He rejoices with this very response - in the very moment in happens - bit by bit.

This all being said, I know many of our Phatmassers have had good luck finding religious communities in England that will accept them - especially Orthodox Carmels - like my sister. I also know that MANY communities will consider someone who is sound, persistent and holy - even if they have a strict age limit. I recommend that one looks and writes - and then writes again. I also recommend (as Thomas Moore did) that one does NOT announce their age immediately! Remember, you are looking at THEM also. No need to get everybody in a panic if you end up not feeling good about the community. I can say for certain that Our Lady of the Rock, Shaw Island, the Benedictines in Vermont - Immaculate Heart Monastery, Abbey of Regina Laudis (CT) are all very Orthodox, fully habited communities that are willing to consider/accept (with joy!) women who are more mature. The ones I just mentioned are Benedictine. The Carmel in Des Plaines very openly accepted a widow with a large family (a socialite from San Francisco) and though they say that was a special case, I believe they would be willing to consider an older woman. There are more - contact Mother Prioress at the Philadelphia Carmel. She's lovely and I believe she does not discriminate. Please feel free to PM for more information.

One last word: 35 is very, very, very YOUNG!

Pax,
TradMom

Edited December 29, 2010 by TradMom

[Luigi]

Visitation Nuns - Mobile, Alabama: http://visitationmonasterymobile.org/ Two women in fomration, both of whom are older

Visitation Nuns - Snellville, Georgia: www.georgiabulletin.org/local/2009/12/​10/visitation_nuns (This is not the monastery's web page - I can't find one for them. This is for an article published about the monastery in Dec '09 in the diocesan newspaper.

Hope this helps.

[Visitation Sisters]

Good morning and a blessed Christmastide from England!
I do not think there is any such thing as a 'late' vocation - one responds when God calls whatever one's chronolgical age. Our Order, The Visitation has always been open to older women discerning religiious vocation. From my lived experience in this monastery I must say they bring such a weatth of life experience with them. Our community is composed of Sisters who have entered young eg early 20s right through until late 50s and the four women with whom we are discering at the moment are all 'late' vocations and so sincere and fervent in wanting to give God their all - it is for us to provide the right soil, understanding and respect. for all that they have lived previously. I understand that if communities have many elderly Sisters it may be a real challenge to them to accept older women because of concerns over health, etc. However, let God be God in our lives and let us respect every person who comes to us in discernment as unique and 'walk' with them as God's Will unfolds for them and for us. For us this 'walking with' has sometimes meant that a woman has not entered with us but become a 'Daughter' of the international Society of St Francis de Sales. With her group she has met here every month and has found consecration and community that she had hitherto not imagined. I suppose I just want to endorse what TradMom has said and encourage those seekers after Truth to continue their seach - and to let themselves be found.

With blessings and thanks to you all. The forum is so helpful and your fervour and desire so palpable. We hold you in prayer always. Sr Jane Margaret
[url="http://www.visitationmonastery.co.uk"]www.visitationmonastery.co.uk[/url]

[Lumiere]

The Poor Clares at Ty Mam Duw state that the best age to enter is [url="http://www.poorclarestmd.org/future/you/faqs.html"]"When God calls you!"[/url]

Also, the [url="http://www.thesacredcross.org/eligibility.htm"]Servants of the Sacred Cross[/url].

Edited December 29, 2010 by Lumiere

[Sister Pray Always]

Check out the Benedictines at Regina Laudis Abbey in Connecticut.

God bless.

Sister H.

[krissylou]

The Cistercians (Trappistines) of Mount St Mary's Abbey in Wrentham say their age limit is 40. I have no idea how flexible they are about people older than 40, but 35-40 would be entirely routine.

[NovemberFourth]

I think it has already been mentioned above but Servants of the Sacred Cross (now in four countries) http://www.thesacredcross.org/main.htm , and from what I understand Las Servidoras also http://www.ssvmusa.org/ssvmhome.htm .

Also in the Uk the Mater Ecclesiae Convent only accepts more mature candidates. http://www.mater-ecclesiae-convent.co.uk/


N4

Edited December 30, 2010 by NovemberFourth

[Digitaldame]

As Phatmassers know, our community doesn't have any age limits as such but I think communities which do may be worried about something other than age: health. It's important to be aware of the implications of health issues, especially in smaller and poorer communities. I have myself advised a couple of candidates to explore joining a bigger community because I know the strain ill-health can put on a smaller group. (The people in question both had quite serious illnesses.) I think all religious communities WANT people to be happy and fulfilled in religious life ( I know we do!). Those which operate an "age limit" aren't necessarily being negative or blocking the Holy Spirit. They may just be trying to be prudent and responsible towards both the existing community and newcomers. In any case, if you feel drawn to a particular community, ask anyway. As St Benedict says, the newcomer should be kept knocking at the door for a while "to test whether the spirits come from God." We keep everyone in this Phorum in our prayers.

[ksterling]

Here's a question I have for Sr. Digital Dame:

You are in the UK. You have universal health care - it seems to me that an English community could accept a candidate of any age if they were so inclined since health care is provided by the government (although I've read about the English health care system and, frankly, wouldn't want it) but at least it's available. So are English communities more willing to accept older candidates or candidates with health issues because of the health care system?

Just wondering.

Kat

[Digitaldame]

[quote name='ksterling' timestamp='1294064703' post='2196140']
Here's a question I have for Sr. Digital Dame:

You are in the UK. You have universal health care - it seems to me that an English community could accept a candidate of any age if they were so inclined since health care is provided by the government (although I've read about the English health care system and, frankly, wouldn't want it) but at least it's available. So are English communities more willing to accept older candidates or candidates with health issues because of the health care system?

Just wondering.

Kat
[/quote]

Thank you for your question, Kat. I'll answer in points.

(1) Our National Health system provides free medical and hospital care to British nationals, i.e. there are comparatively low charges for drugs; everything else needed, from x-rays to surgery, is paid for from taxes. It is therefore "free" for British users and there are agreements in place about members of the European Union. Medical and hospital care is not free for non-British nationals (although free emergency treatments is available, and we have special arrangements for asylum seekers, etc.) If you've never experienced our National Health system, you could be in for a pleasant surprise. I think our cradle to the grave care for everyone, irrespective of financial circumstances, is excellent and I am very impressed by the service we have received over the years. I myself would not be alive now were it not for the NHS so I have reason to be grateful.

(2) Coping with illness usually calls for a lot more than drugs and surgery. It can be quite hard on the community as a whole. For example, how does a small and perhaps not very well off community cope with special diets (they can be expensive both in time and money), "off" periods (who covers when someone is laid up?), trips to doctor/hospital (not just the occasional one, but two or three times a week) and things like that? It may not sound much in cold print, but if, say, the Divine Office can't be sung because someone is always either ill or absent, that has a huge impact on a community. Even when I belonged to a much bigger community than the one I do now, illness could put a great strain on those trying to cope with the needs of the sick, as well as the sick themselves. As prioress, I am well aware that I have a duty to each and every one and I'm sure others feel exactly the same.

(3) I can't speak for other communities, but in general I would say robust physical and mental health is needed for the cloistered life. It is, in fact, one of the signs we look for in a candidate. (For example, we have recently had temperatures several degrees below freezing but no heating. That would not be good for anyone whose physical health was compromised. So, if God is calling you here, he will give you sufficient health to live the kind of life we do.) Some communities can take on disabilities we couldn't (for example, they have lifts/elevators in their buildings). Again, some communities haven't had any entrants for several years and are therefore ready to consider candidates they might not have in the past. The only way to find out is to ask — but I think you would get a better hearing if you don't make it the first question or the only question you ask. Communities like to [b]think[/b] you are drawn to their charism above all others!

The Vocations FAQ on our web site may be worth trawling for some other ideas. Otherwise, there's a lot of help on this site.

With prayers,

D. Catherine

[HopefulBride]

The Sisters of our Mother of Divine Grace. They are a new community that formed from the CMRI sisters (same community that the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Church came from) and I know they are willing to consider candidates older than 35 but of course want to speak with the person. She might want to contact them (810-622-9904 xt 3)

[ksterling]

Thank you, Dame Catherine, for your response. I never thought I would be interested in the contemplative life but I have plans to visit a Dominican monstery in the US just to see. I am a very healthy person but I can now see why many contemplative communities - even in countries where they have gov't health care - would be reluctant to accept a candidate with health issues. I learn something new on VS every day.

Kat (also Katherine!)

[Pax_et bonum]

The Franciscan Sisters Minor have no age limit, and while they are not cloistered, they are contemplative.