Going To See Extended Family In A Week.

[LadyOfSorrows]

Dear pham,

So as some of you know, I'm a convert from Judaism. In a week, my immediate family and I are going to my grandmother's home, where my extremely orthodox Jewish cousin from Israel will be. Before I converted, she told me that she was very upset and horrified that I'd be getting baptized. My grandmother is also very hardcore, but not as orthodox as my cousin is. She doesn't know I was baptized, but she would probably disown me if she knew.

My parents told me that they don't want me to wear my miraculous medal, which I wear all the time as a symbol for my love towards our Blessed Mother, who brought me to the faith. I never take it off. I do not want to remove it. I feel silly for saying this, but I feel that if I took it off, just to not "offend," anyone, I would be denying the Truth I love so much. I know it's the feast of the Holy Family, and the readings today were about obeying your father and mother, but how does that really work into something like this?

Thanks!

[rhetoricfemme]

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult position. I'll be praying for you. Would it be possible to tuck your Miraculous medal into your shirt?

[CatherineM]

My grandmother was a devout baptist who was quite horrified that my mother had married a catholic. We tried to be careful about not rubbing it in her face. It was a form of don't ask, don't tell. I think the first time I ever heard her address it was when I was 14. She commented to my mother that I had gotten a good education from the nuns. I found it easiest to just not mention it. If asked, I wouldn't lie, obviously, but I didn't feel the need to wave any red table clothes.

[Luigi]

Respect your grandmother; all grandmothers deserve respect. Your grandmother must be a woman of faith, and you should be able to respect that.

I agree with Rhetoricfemme and Catherine - tuck the medal inside your blouse/sweater/shirt, and don't bring up your conversion. If they pray, pray with them.

But you might also want to prepare some non-confrontational responses for questions about your religious practices, like if your cousin brings it up - "I've been thinking about religion/fatih a lot lately...," I can't tell you the kinds of things that will pacify them & yet not be lies, but you can probably come up with some yourself.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I'd say tuck it in (as others have mentioned) or perhaps keep it in your pocket.

There's a time and place for everything-- including this conversation, if and when it's supposed to happen with your extended family. You're not hiding your faith by keeping the medal out of sight... if things come up, they come up. Let the Holy Spirit guide your conversation.

Remember that you are an example of the Christian faith, with or without them knowing. Be sure to conduct yourself in a manner that, when they look back at this gathering in the future, they can see that you acted in all Christian charity. Whatever that charity may call you to say/do.

It's less about your defense of the faith or the need to defend yourself as a Christian. It's more about [i]being[/i] a Christian at all times and thus bein g that example of the faith-- which both defends and enlightens by its very nature.

Don't worry, hun, you can do it!

[holly.o]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1293436218' post='2194610']

It's less about your defense of the faith or the need to defend yourself as a Christian. It's more about [i]being[/i] a Christian at all times and thus bein g that example of the faith-- which both defends and enlightens by its very nature.

[/quote]


Exactly. Although I don't think my family's and their friends' faith situation is as different - pretty much everyone is Baptist - a lot of people still have misconceptions or are outright anti-Catholic. When I first converted, I did feel that I would have to defend the Faith and basically give my testimony all the time. I thought I would be constantly attacked and that if I didn't directly evangelize, I was a failure. Not really true... what TeresaBenedicta said is right. What they will remember is your love - this is how Christ said they will know we are His disciples - that we really love one another. And I would agree about just tucking the medal in your shirt - Jesus and Mary know who you belong to

Of course, sometimes those difficult questions come up, but don't feel that you have to have an answer for everything. One of the most gracious and humble things to do is admit you don't know something - but then offer to find out. We have over 2,000 years of apologetics, so it's doubtful someone will come up with something new.

Keeping you in my prayers

Edited December 27, 2010 by holly.o

[MithLuin]

Yes, out of sight, out of mind. It's not 'hiding' it to wear a religious medal under your shirt (or in your pocket) rather than 'out' for all to see. It's a private devotion, so you're welcome to keep it private. If you wear it outside/visible, it may be considered a witness, but I think you can respect your parents' wishes about not being [i]that kind[/i] of witness to your extended family right now. A witness of Christian love and filial obedience can also be a good thing.

If your cousin is horrified by your conversion, the topic may come up even if you try to avoid it. So, remember that your goal is not to pick a fight, and pray to the Holy Spirit for inspiration and guidance.

[fides quarens intellectum]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1293466293' post='2194635']
If your cousin is horrified by your conversion, the topic may come up even if you try to avoid it. So, remember that your goal is not to pick a fight, and pray to the Holy Spirit for inspiration and guidance.
[/quote]

Yes, I agree. Sometimes, conversations with other family members may very easily become heated, so praying to the Holy Spirit is extremely important because even if you are not trying to pick a fight, you may be dragged into one. One of my family members has always been more hostile to Catholicism than most of the others and tended to attack and drag the both of us into unfruitful discussions for a couple of years. Finally, I simply told that family member that I would appreciate it if we just agree not to discuss it with one another, since I loved Jesus and I felt as though that person were constantly attacking His Bride, the Church. The preaching of Christ Our Lord was not accepted in His own hometown, so I've accepted that it will have to be someone else, non-family, who will be able to reach out with the Truth to my closer family members. Like someone else said, you already are a witness to them, so all we really can do is do our best to live in the light of Christ.

I certainly will be praying for you!

[LadyOfSorrows]

Thank you, everyone! I'll tuck it into my shirt. That makes me feel better. I still have a feeling that my cousin will mention something such as, "Did you go through with it?" I really appreciate your advice. I'm sure the Holy Spirit will lead me to act as Christian as possible.

Thanks again! I feel much more peaceful about the issue now.

[Mercy me]

Are you involved with the Association of Hebrew Catholics, David Moss's group? They may be able to give advise through their Yahoo group.