Confession Fear

[Mark of the Cross]

[quote name='Ada' timestamp='1292070055' post='2192093']
[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/wave.gif[/img]Hi! I'm new to this forum. Not sure where I could post this, but here it is...
[/quote]
Welcome!

[quote]I want to be catholic, no matter what other ex catholics/anti catholics or agnostics around me say and no matter how much I may feel like God is not there...He just has to be. [/quote]
Fantastic! That's the meaning of faith. There will be forces that will strongly attempt to deter you from Gods plan, never let it win. When I was becoming a Catholic the more things tried to deter me the more I knew I was going the right way. I'm a catechist, at the beginning of each meeting we pray for all enquirers/catechumins.
[quote]
But I have a problem, I am terrified of confession, especially for the first time. I do not know how I will get through it. And I feel like, even if I do get through it,[b] I feel as if I still shouldn't have communion[/b]. [/quote]
Anxiety is a real nuisance especially since the fears are unreal and totally unproductive. Bear in mind that the priest and your verbal confession is only the intermediary between you and God. True confession comes from the soul! You said you were truly sorry when you said "I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." (see bold) And true forgiveness comes from God.

[quote]I feel like what I say won't be good enough. And what if what I say is not enough? or what if I say too much? or what if I say something that doesn't need to be said? What if I don't do confession right? What if I come across as stupid for not knowing whether or not that it's wrong, or even just stupid for anything that I've done. I know, I should just forget that, and just do it, because it's important. I need to forget the embarrassment, panic and humiliation I may feel. But it's sooo hard. I feel like I am too shy. And I also worry that once I am really catholic, I will always worry about sin. Why does it have to be so hard? SO hard? I feel like...what if I will just end up in hell?[/quote]
These are the typical symptoms of anxiety. Not necessary with Jesus! Jesus loves you, he knows what you are capable of and he knows how much you want absolution. Most of all he wants you to join in his communion. When he said "Take eat this is....." there were no following conditions attached, it's more about when [u]you[/u] and [u]the Church[/u] think you're ready.

[quote]Sometimes I desire so much to be devoted to God. I want to have a true faith. I want to do what God wants. I want to really love God. I just don't know if that's possible, or if I am just fooling myself.

[/quote]
From your post I think you've already accomplished that!

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1292092438' post='2192149']
They would pay a therapist a couple of hundred dollars an hour to listen to them though without giving it another thought.
[/quote]

From my experiences with them, I wouldn't tell them the time of the day. Most of them need to see a priest.

[quote name='brawsky' timestamp='1292502532' post='2193025']
Hello
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Hi!

Edited December 16, 2010 by Mark of the Cross

[Ed Normile]

Ada, I will pray for your conversion this Christmas. Easter is coming and its a fine time to convert .

I have been a catholic my whole life and I come from a long line of catholics, when I was in my twenties I went through a period where I was scared to go to confession and would actually put it off until I had no other choice, either a situation where I had to receive, like a friends wedding I was in or Christmas or Easter mass. I would worry if the priest was going to be judgemental, or look down on me, I felt embarrassed as I seemed to commit the same sins repeatedly. I finally came to the realization that as Jesus sent his apostles out and commanded them to go forth and forgive mens sins the only person that could possibly want me to miss out on this wonderful sacrament had to be satan himself. I mean with the benefits for my soul as well as my pysche, yes you feel so much better when you have confessed and received your penance and absolution, its like cleaning the slate, it actually feels like a burden lifted, peace settles into your soul and you feel worthy of His love and worthy to receive Him Body, Blood, Soul and Divinty in the Eucharist. This is worth any embarrassment or uneasiness you may experience, think of the sacrifice Jesus made to enable this for us.

When you become a catholic, when you have partaken of the Sacraments especially the Sacrament of Penance and Absolution and your soul is bright and clean like a saint will you do me a favor and offer a prayer for me? Welcome!

ed

[Catholictothecore]

Hi, Ada

Nice to know someone else is on the journey. My prayer is that God grant you a life full of love and Himself.

A handy tip? Spend as much time as you can with the Eucharist. You'll be amazed how spending time with Him there takes away all your other fears.

CttC

[thessalonian]

Hi Ada.

Wonderful to hear your journey. Confession scares me every time I go. "What is the priest gonna think?" "He's gonna chew me out good this time!" "Same dang sin again for the 490th time" "Oh I'll quit sinning and then go to confession" "If I don't do the sin again for another week and then go next week it won't seem like I am so bad" are some of the thoughts that have gone through my head over the years. What compels me to go always is the grace of God and the promise of forgiveness, that when I walk out of that confessional at least for a few hours (or minutes ) I have that clean slate again and that relief of knowing that those things aren't hanging over my head and bothering me. Ya confession is scarey. Most weeks it is the scariest thing I have to do. But it also provides the greatest relief. It will get easier for you after that first one but never easy and I can only recall being chewed out once long ago. Most of the time the priests are just happy to hear your repentence. They are sinners like you and hear the sins of sinners like you and even far worse than you (me ). I hope that helps but when all else fails rely on God's grace as that is mostly what is going to get you inside that confessional speaking those words.

Will pray.
God bless

[thessalonian]

Hey, you know I was just thinking, about a week ago I had some minor surgery done on my finger. Not a big deal but it had to be done and it was going to hurt. Sitting in the Dr.'s office I thought, well I really don't need to do this today. I should just go home. But then I thought well I would have to go through all this nervous feeling again. It is much the same way I feel going to and waiting for confession every few weeks and how appropriate. The priest is the Dr. of our soul.