Painful Discernment

[OnlySunshine]

I'm sure you remember how I thought I had found my home with the Carmelites DCJ, but I had an anxiety attack while I was working in their apostolate. I felt restless and not at peace with myself. I felt like God was not calling me there. It hurts, tnavarro61. Especially when you thought you had found what God had called you to do, and then something like this happens. I know, for me, it felt like I was tricked at first because I felt so certain after visiting the Motherhouse that I was supposed to apply there. But, I knew, without a doubt, that God was not calling me there after praying for several months. The guilt can fester and make you cynical and I didn't want that to happen at all.

Don't let your experiences with a few communities make you critical of all of them. If God is indeed calling you to religious life, it is going to take a lot of trial and effort on your part to find that community that you feel completely at ease and at home in. Prayers for you, tnavarro61.

[tnavarro61]

thank you very much for your prayers and kindness, my dear phamily.i am reading your posts/suggestions here, and I'll be taking these to prayer later.

The community that I was trying to contact (mentioned in the fourth-to-the-last paragraph) finally replied! They told me that i am not of age (25+ is required; I am 18) but they told me that I could always ask for more information and communicate with them. They sent me a vocation brochure. I am so touched with their email, and they're the opposite of the community I asked for information (not apply) but refused because I live overseas.

But I don't think I should wait until i reach 25. I would like to enter probably in two years. I think I should ask the Franciscans of the Immaculate again for information. I used to ask them for info, but stopped because I thought I found my home.


Do you think I should never mention to vocation directors what I have experienced when I start discerning again? I'll try calling the Franciscans of the Immaculate on Sunday, and I'll be praying a lot for it.

God bless you!

tnavarro61

[tnavarro61]

it's interesting how phatmass became a "diary" for me.

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=85385&st=20&p=2027495&hl=+franciscans%20+immaculate&fromsearch=1&#entry2027495"]here[/url]

On the second to the last post, it was just weeks before I discovered the Intercessors. Prior to that posts are my dilemma about college course. The last post is an update after a year (2009) I was with the Intercessors that time, but I haven't discerned with the Hermits. I have shifted to another college degree, Legal Management.

oh phatmass thank you very much.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='tnavarro61' timestamp='1291971603' post='2191925']
thank you very much for your prayers and kindness, my dear phamily.i am reading your posts/suggestions here, and I'll be taking these to prayer later.

The community that I was trying to contact (mentioned in the fourth-to-the-last paragraph) finally replied! They told me that i am not of age (25+ is required; I am 18) but they told me that I could always ask for more information and communicate with them. They sent me a vocation brochure. I am so touched with their email, and they're the opposite of the community I asked for information (not apply) but refused because I live overseas.

But I don't think I should wait until i reach 25. I would like to enter probably in two years. I think I should ask the Franciscans of the Immaculate again for information. I used to ask them for info, but stopped because I thought I found my home.


Do you think I should never mention to vocation directors what I have experienced when I start discerning again? I'll try calling the Franciscans of the Immaculate on Sunday, and I'll be praying a lot for it.

God bless you!

tnavarro61
[/quote]

7 years is too long for some people, but be open to the fact that God may want you to wait that long. Some directors wouldn't recommend it. I'd get a new spiritual director and start building a relationship. He would be able to help you determine when it's time to enter.

Also, while it's not necessary to tell the vocation directors you get in touch with about your experiences with the Intercessors, I shouldn't think it would cause a problem. You were not to blame, and hopefully, they will understand that.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='tnavarro61' timestamp='1291971603' post='2191925']
thank you very much for your prayers and kindness, my dear phamily.i am reading your posts/suggestions here, and I'll be taking these to prayer later.

The community that I was trying to contact (mentioned in the fourth-to-the-last paragraph) finally replied! They told me that i am not of age (25+ is required; I am 18) but they told me that I could always ask for more information and communicate with them. They sent me a vocation brochure. I am so touched with their email, and they're the opposite of the community I asked for information (not apply) but refused because I live overseas.

But I don't think I should wait until i reach 25. I would like to enter probably in two years. I think I should ask the Franciscans of the Immaculate again for information. I used to ask them for info, but stopped because I thought I found my home.


Do you think I should never mention to vocation directors what I have experienced when I start discerning again? I'll try calling the Franciscans of the Immaculate on Sunday, and I'll be praying a lot for it.

God bless you!

tnavarro61
[/quote]
I would think your experience would actually be something of importance to mention, because it's clearly affecting your discernment now, and may continue to do so in the future. As MM said, hopefully they'll be able to understand that you had nothing to do with what happened. But it is something that could color the way you look at orders/your calling in the future, and so it is something that they probably need to know in order to be the best spiritual director for you. If they have an issue with you because of it, they're probably not going to be the best spiritual director for you, anyway.

[tnavarro61]

thank you MaterMisericordiae and MissScripture for your suggestions. Well I think I should bring up my experience to vocation directors so that they'll have an idea of how I was doing in my discernment.

I'll be calling the Franciscans of the Immaculate tomorrow, December 12, 2010. I am so excited, I just can't wait! It'll be tomorrow morning, it would be later at evening for most of you phamily and phriends.

I'll be online at the chatroom as i call the Franciscans... thank you for your prayers. know that i am also praying for each one of you.

Tnavarro61

[Mary Veronica]

I do not know why for some people discernment can become peaceful and for others it can become painful, but I do know that both situations inevitably have spiritual enemies/oppositions/challenges against them, and yet they also have the Love of the Father, and that everything that is His, is ours...and we can always come to Him and ask what we need...whether we have served and worked hard for Him all our lives, or have gone wayward somewhere and now suffer want...

For those who feel undeserving of the Father, be strong and know that He sees us even while we are at a distance, and He will come, running, embracing and kissing us, clothing us anew and rejoicing over our return and claiming us again as His very own children!!!...

For those who have served the Father faithfully and may not have anything more to ask of, do not hesitate to ask for His intimate affection too because He is also ready and waiting to rejoice over us when we come to Him for anything, even if we seem to have all that we need or have accomplished what we are supposed to...

......

...........

I like how everyone assures praying for each other.

okay, so, prayers.

God's grace and peace<3

[tnavarro61]

thank you very much Mary Veronica for sharing your thoughts and for your prayers. Yes we could always come to the Father for help, anyway the call came from Him!

I'll be posting a new thread.

[tnavarro61]

thank you very much Mary Veronica for sharing your thoughts and for your prayers. Yes we could always come to the Father for help, anyway the call came from Him!

I'll be posting a new thread.