Abortion Conversation With Family

[rhetoricfemme]

My family recently had a baby shower for me, which was attended by my mother, four sisters, my 16 year old niece, and one of our long-lost cousins.

Conversations were definitely interesting, especially as my sisters were catching up with our cousin, who we haven't seen in something like 20 years. My sisters and cousin are all at least 13 years older than me, so I was just trying to keep up.

They were talking about how our moving out of state was a big factor in losing touch, as our cousin's mother had no desire to travel for anyone. And Missy, our cousin, mentioned how heartbreaking it was when my sister Kim became pregnant at 16 years old, because the same thing had happened to her, but Missy's mother refused to let her have the baby, so she had an abortion. Later that night, Kim had mentioned how her getting pregnant became a family affair, and how between both her and our parents, abortion was never an option on the table. Eventually, our sister with the 16 year old, just flat out told my niece, "If you ever get pregnant I'll take you down there [to a clinic] myself."

Needless to say, that entire conversation was not one any of us expected to come up, but I'm glad it did. Not everyone in our family sees eye-to-eye on various issues, but I think abortion is one particular issue that none of us really talk about. Most of my family knows I'm pro-life, as well as our mother, but still. It's not something that just comes up, and I would have never known that our sister would be so quick to send her own daughter to a clinic. I don't think any of us would have known that about her. It was a good opportunity for the few of us to have an open dialogue.

As for my niece, I hope it isn't an issue for her. She's a good girl, but if we're being honest, we all know that sometimes even good girls will have sex when their teenagers. I did, however, let my sister know that if my niece did every become pregnant, that it would be absolutely wrong for her to have the abortion, and gave her several reasons why. And I let her know that my husband and I would hands down adopt the child, so she therefore has no excuse. I hope this would be enough for her, especially considering that I was nearly aborted myself, when another cousin of ours became pregnant. It wouldn't have been the first abortion that this cousin had "forced" on her by her mother, but my own mother stepped in and begged her to let this pregnancy happen and that she would adopt me. And that's what happened.

[i]So please, pray for my sister to have a change of heart about abortion and what it truly is. She of all people should know better, considering she's still close with the cousin who almost had me aborted, and I know they speak about me and my sister keeps her up-to-date on me, as I choose not to do so myself... Please pray for my sister's change of heart, and please pray for my niece, that she would be responsible with her own sexuality, and to guard it until marriage.[/i]

I'm also going to praise God for my husband. I'd said to him, "Oh by the way, Tina said if Stephie gets pregnant she'll have the baby aborted, but I told her no, and we're adopting it." His replay was, "Okay."

[Archaeology cat]

Praying

[BG45]

Good for your husband! And definite prayers.

[HopefulBride]

How supportive of your husband. Prayers for your sister.

[fides quarens intellectum]

prayers.

What a beautiful story about how your mother adopted you!! All glory to God! That just completely made my day!

[elizabeth09]

Praying for her every night.

Edited December 6, 2010 by elizabeth09

[rhetoricfemme]

Thank you all, for the prayers for my sister; it really means a lot! There has been a lot of heartbreak in her life in recent years, and it's all she can do it keep moving forward. She is extremely defensive to the point where she occasionally shuts herself off from the rest of us, though that has been changing lately. I just hope that when we spoke she heard concern and not condemnation in the things I said to her, which while my words were firm, they were also kind.

Fides--I'm glad to have helped make your day!

[TradMom]

+Praised be Jesus Christ!

This is a very, very sad situation. Please be assured of my prayers for your sister's change of heart and spirit. Perhaps she will grow to value life more as she grows closer to you. Sadly, this is only too common of a mindset these days.

Pax,

TradMom

[Dara]

[font="Verdana"]My sister has had two abortions, and does not understand my pro-life stance at all. It is hard, and it would be heartbreaking for your niece to have to go through an abortion under pressure of her mother. Praying that your sister will have a change of heart and realize what an intrinsically evil thing abortion truly is. [/font]

[rhetoricfemme]

[quote name='Dara' timestamp='1292016331' post='2192010']
[font="Verdana"]My sister has had two abortions, and does not understand my pro-life stance at all. It is hard, and it would be heartbreaking for your niece to have to go through an abortion under pressure of her mother. Praying that your sister will have a change of heart and realize what an intrinsically evil thing abortion truly is. [/font]
[/quote]
I'll be praying for you sister, for sure.

It's funny how people can't see the other side of an issue sometimes. That is what I don't understand. To a degree, I can understand the person who selfishly has an abortion but has some internal understanding that something very sad just happened. But when someone else is so nonchalant about abortion, as if it's a resource that has "got their back" when they mess up... How could anyone understand that?

Oh, note: I'm not assuming to know how your sister treats the concept of abortion. I was just writing what your post made me think of at the time.

Edited December 10, 2010 by rhetoricfemme

[Dara]

[quote name='rhetoricfemme' timestamp='1292020032' post='2192025']
I'll be praying for you sister, for sure.

It's funny how people can't see the other side of an issue sometimes. That is what I don't understand. To a degree, I can understand the person who selfishly has an abortion but has some internal understanding that something very sad just happened. But when someone else is so nonchalant about abortion, as if it's a resource that has "got their back" when they mess up... How could anyone understand that?

Oh, note: I'm not assuming to know how your sister treats the concept of abortion. I was just writing what your post made me think of at the time.
[/quote]

[font="Verdana"]The sad thing is, that is really pretty much how she feels. She says it is not a baby yet, just a "speck" or a "little cloud", which chills me to the bone. I lost a baby recently at twelve weeks, and she told me that I was taking my grief too far, and that it wasn't really a baby yet. I did not speak to her for over a month, and the bond between us will never be the same.
Unfortunately that particular attitude toward abortion is all too common where I come from (the Netherlands).
[/font]

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Dara' timestamp='1292023226' post='2192037']
[font="Verdana"]The sad thing is, that is really pretty much how she feels. She says it is not a baby yet, just a "speck" or a "little cloud", which chills me to the bone. I lost a baby recently at twelve weeks, and she told me that I was taking my grief too far, and that it wasn't really a baby yet. I did not speak to her for over a month, and the bond between us will never be the same.
Unfortunately that particular attitude toward abortion is all too common where I come from (the Netherlands).
[/font]
[/quote]
I'm so sorry for your loss. You & your sister are in my prayers.