Suddenly

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Because of decree of my parents, I have to get a university degree before I enter the convent. Four years seems ridiculously far away. What are some ways I can wait patiently and still help my spiritual life?

Thank you for your help!
Dieu vous benisse!

[tnavarro61]

I am in my second year of college [but I shifted to another course so I am a freshman for two years] and I can understand how you feel... Five years, in my case, is just SOOOO long. When I took my entrance exam at the university I did my best and then I prayerd that I would fail the exam so that I will have a reason to pursue religious life. God didn't answer my prayers.

Now more than a year after, there's a GREAT possibility that I won't be finishing my degree. I somehow feel disappointed about this, I just want to finish what I have started. But isn't it I should be happy since I could enter religious life with more freedom! But everything's becoming so complex!! This is another story and would be off-topic, but please pray for me.

Waiting is not doing nothing. It's part of the discernment process. Waiting is growing up. Keep this always in your mind. Why not try "hanging out" with the sisters you're discerning with once in a while? Or joining prayer groups for the meantime. What college will you be going? Perhaps if you could find fellow phatmassers there, you could gather and pray, and share!

[Hinter dem Horizont]

Honestly, having the degree beforehand could be beneficial because then you'd have something in case the religious life does not work out for you. Or, it will at least make you into an intellectual. Convents always want people that have degrees because they're educated and will add to lives of those inside the convent.

First of all, pray diligently. Pray the hours.

As you're working towards your degree in University realize your goal which is to become a nun. Don't focus on how far away it is. Rather focus on doing well in University so that you may reach that gaol afterwards.

[font=arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif][size=2]J'espère que vos rêves peuvent se produire[/size][/font]

[vee]

Are they paying for your education? If not you will be out a lot longer working to pay off that debt!!

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1291306541' post='2190370']
Are they paying for your education? If not you will be out a lot longer working to pay off that debt!!
[/quote]

That IS something to consider, if you will have loans at the end of this your time before entering might be extended even more. If you are taking loans, I suggest you take the step to follow your calling and enter sooner rather than later.

[TeresaBenedicta]

If you feel called now, answer NOW. Despite what parents say (if you're over 18). Sometimes God only extends the graces needed to follow His will for a certain time-period, and if you don't respond when it is in accord with His will, those graces can disappear. In this sense, you [i]can[/i] lose a vocation.

I'd suggest speaking with a priest that you really trust and really discern for yourself whether you should pursue your vocation now or after college. Parents are well-meaning (back-up plan, real education,e tc)... but sometimes their own desires for their children can keep them from supporting what God wants you to do. You will get an education with the community you enter, and if you're still looking Dominican, I think that will also mean a formal education.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

I have a scholarship and my parents will be paying for the little that needs to be paid. My goal was always to get my degree with as little debt as possible and at this point I will not have any. My school is a state school, so the tuition is not that much at all.
I pray the hours which helps a lot. Unfortunately there are no NDs where I am currently living but when I move there will be some 45 minutes away.

Thank you all so much for the suggestions!

[AllForYourGlory]

I would just tell you to keep praying about it. Also, have you spoken to Sr. Mary Emily about the situation at all. In my case, i had to wait after graduation college, and still am waiting (it has been 2 years) to enter due to my debt. But to be honest, it has been a great time of Grace in my life as well as my families life. I know that if i would have been able to enter right out of college, it would not have been the right time. Listen to God and do His Will! Easier said than done i know, trust that i will be praying for you.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='AllForYourGlory' timestamp='1291337771' post='2190495']
I would just tell you to keep praying about it. Also, have you spoken to Sr. Mary Emily about the situation at all. In my case, i had to wait after graduation college, and still am waiting (it has been 2 years) to enter due to my debt. But to be honest, it has been a great time of Grace in my life as well as my families life. I know that if i would have been able to enter right out of college, it would not have been the right time. Listen to God and do His Will! Easier said than done i know, trust that i will be praying for you.
[/quote]


I haven't been able to talk to Sr. Mary Emily on the phone (no time in my house that is quiet, work at Church, and school) but I've emailed her and the vocation assistant got back to me. I mentioned something in my email, but I didn't really get to explain it all that much. I will definitely call her--maybe during Christmas break? I don't know. But I do pray every day. Thank you all for your prayers! I have almost two entire dioceses praying for me (this is what happens when your gran in part of the Serra Club. And has many friends that have asked for years if I was joining the convent) and I appreciate any and all prayers!

One of my favorite prayers that I thought I'd share was written by a friend's mom. It's in my breviary and I say it every night.

"Merciful Jesus

I give you my heart. I ask your forgivness for all my sins that hurt you, dear Jesus, and hurt others. Grant me the grace to be holy, to [i]do Your will[/i], and to be filled with your love."

Amen.

Props to Mrs. H for writing it!

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1291289039' post='2190330']
Because of decree of my parents, I have to get a university degree before I enter the convent. Four years seems ridiculously far away. What are some ways I can wait patiently and still help my spiritual life?

Thank you for your help!
Dieu vous benisse!
[/quote]

I'm confused--sorry about that. I've read your posts, but I should have paid more attention to what Order and Community you are discerning.

Several times in this thread, the Nashville Dominicans are mentioned. Is that the Community you are discerning?

My understanding was that, with the ND's, postulants who do not have a degree and a teaching certificate when they enter, attend college to get their teaching certificate. I assume this means that, at minimum, they earn a B.A. Am I wrong about this?

I also know that other Orders and Communities, particularly teaching Orders (and I assume nursing Orders, as well) take care of assuring that their postulants receive a college degree, and in some Orders, for certain individuals, more advanced degrees, as well.

If it is the ND's you are discerning, wouldn't the teaching certificate you would earn satisfy your parents' desire for you to get a University degree?

As for whether the experience of attending college is helpful or not for discerners, I have read posts from discerners who have expressed both points of view. Some have said that it was right for them that they entered religious life right out of high school. Others have said that even a few years of college helped them grow, and understand themselves better, and ultimately, they felt better prepared for the religious life by attending college.

And, I think that many Orders and Communities would find it an asset that you had completed at least your Bachelor's. Others wouldn't care.

I know there are different views about whether a woman could "lose" her vocation if she does not act on it right away. As I have never been in religious life, much less a discerner, I don't know if my opinions on this have any credibility. But, my gut feel is that, if you do go to University while still intending to enter Religious life, and if your vocation is a true one, you won't lose it by attending University. It's possible that by attending college your vocation might even be stronger, not only from the knowledge you gain in the classroom, but in living daily life. If you go to college, you're not going to be sitting around, idly waiting--you're going to be VERY busy.

If nothing else, the Bible says said "Honor thy father and mother." Do your parents understand something about you that you may not yet understand about yourself? All parents are different, but as people get older, most of them do grow in wisdom, and your parents HAVE known you all your life. (When I was 18, I thought anyone over 40 was totally clueless and out of touch with reality. I am now over 40, and I can say, at least about myself, that I was totally wrong.)

Your parents are not asking you to give up your vocation--that would be different. But, they are only asking that you get your university degree and they are paying for what expenses your scholarship doesn't cover. I don't know if you will be living in a dorm, but I suspect that living in a dorm wouldn't be a bad preparation for living in community. And, at a state school, the strong witness of your plans to enter religious life will, if nothing else, be unusual. You have no idea now how God might plan to use you, as you live, or at least attend classes, among people who not only will not be Catholic, but many of whom will not be religious at all.

As someone who attended a public university, I found that that environment strengthened my faith, because it was challenged every day. And, I think I understand people in general much better, because, rather than being sheltered, I lived as Jesus did (not that I would BEGIN to compare myself to Jesus), but, like Jesus, I lived "among the people," not only around people "like me."

You may not realize it now, but you will be a very different, more mature person at 22. The four years of college will not be "wasted." Not only will you grow in knowledge, but going to college also helps most people better understand themselves. And, God won't leave you on your own. I would be surprised if any state school doesn't have a Newman Center, or some other active group of Catholic students. And, you might even find (or even create) a group of active discerners of the religious life.

So, I have no answer of "the right way" or the "the right thing to do." If you go to college, God will use you there. If you enter religious life immediately, God will use you there, just in a different way. My experience, and from reading posts in VS is that, once God "catches you," it's pretty hard to "escape"--God tends to make his will known pretty strongly. Not to mention the fact that even a non-discerner like myself has found is that, once God has "caught" you, he uses his "friends" to keep his will "in your face." I, and other VS'ers, have had the experience of certain saints "following us around." I have no reason for saying this but, my gut feel is that God won't let you lose your religious vocation, unless perhaps he puts in your path a faithful, loving, Catholic man, and God tells you that it is his will that you get married--a different kind of vocation, but no less holy if it is God's will for you.

Edited December 3, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Iggy--

I am discerning with the Nashville Dominicans. My parents, even though the sort of understand the Dominican spirituality and that I would be getting and education, they still want me to go to university.

University will probably be a great asset, because I always knew I wanted to study French education. So, by the time I enter (God willing, bien sur) I will have a teaching degree. My gran also says, like you, that God will use me however and wherever He can.

Thank you so much!

Dieu vous benisse.

[In The Arms of The Lord]

It is always good of us to wait patiently for what Our Lord chooses to give, but we shouldn't keep Him waiting. You will know more than anyone else what He says to you in the silence of your heart. May you do what He is asking.

[HopefulBride]

You know, I have been thinking about this some more and I got to thinking about my own concerns and my own wait that I may very well have to do. When the Lord calls us to something, the mere fact that we know he is calling us doesn't necessarily mean we must get to it right away. We should also take the time necessary to prepare ourselves to answer whatever the Lord is calling us to. Jesus did not start His ministry right away, he waited years before he was in active ministry. Perhaps the time you must wait to get your university degree is also the time you must prepare in order to answer the Lord. Just my little two cents

I read this post one the Adoration Sisters' blog that was a wonderful reminder.

[quote]


[b] Advent Waiting [/b]
[center][indent]I wait for the Lord, my souls waits,
in his word I hope;
my souls waits for the Lord...(Psalm 130: 5-6)

[/indent][/center]In our culture of instant gratification, waiting is hard to do. We're so used to instant results that we become impatient when the web site takes a few extra seconds to load or there is a line at the drive-thru. Our society is constantly shouting, "Do! Do! Do! Produce! Produce! Produce! Results! Results! Results!" Waiting becomes a waste of time, a dry desert between where we are and where we want to be.
During these four weeks before Christmas, the Church invites us to take a different approach to waiting. Waiting also crystallizes desire. Is what I want worth waiting for? How much does it mean to me? Am I willing to put off superficial gratification, to take the time necessary to get to the real heart of things?
As we wait for Christmas, we join Mary as she waits for the Desire of the Nations, taking flesh in her womb, to make his longed-for appearance. Only the coming of God can quench our deepest desires. What are you waiting for? Can your longings stand the test of time?

[/quote]

[Starets]

4 years can seem like a long time. I am not sure what I can suggest that hasn't already been suggested. Certainly keep praying, especially the Hours. Another possibility might be to live as much of the ND life as you can while living at home. Maybe try saying the Hours at the same time they do, that sort of thing. That might not work out if you are in disparate time zones, however! Certainly keep in touch with the ND community as much as reasonable. That will help as well. And most important, keep persevering.

:hug: :monk:

[Kathgirl]

[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1291581203' post='2191073']
You know, I have been thinking about this some more and I got to thinking about my own concerns and my own wait that I may very well have to do. When the Lord calls us to something, the mere fact that we know he is calling us doesn't necessarily mean we must get to it right away. We should also take the time necessary to prepare ourselves to answer whatever the Lord is calling us to. Jesus did not start His ministry right away, he waited years before he was in active ministry. Perhaps the time you must wait to get your university degree is also the time you must prepare in order to answer the Lord. Just my little two cents

I read this post one the Adoration Sisters' blog that was a wonderful reminder.
[/quote]
Hopeful Bride, could you give this blog address? I love the Adoration Sisters.