Jesus Christ's One And Only Autobiography - Now Available

[Vincent Vega]

So there are only 776 pages then?
Also, I'm afraid you've missed this again:
[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291162158' post='2190094']
Ok I'm gonna skip about 30 pages here and get right to the marrow of the thing:
Do you believe that you are Jesus Christ, or some especially appointed messenger* thereof?



*No semantics games about how "every Christian is specially appointed to spread the Gospel" or similar needed.
[/quote]

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291162158' post='2190094']
Ok I'm gonna skip about 30 pages here and get right to the marrow of the thing:
Do you believe that you are Jesus Christ, or some especially appointed messenger* thereof?



*No semantics games about how "every Christian is specially appointed to spread the Gospel" or similar needed.
[/quote]


that's a good question....

[hewhaY Pub]

It is not presented as fiction because it is non-fiction


[quote name='kafka' timestamp='1291356375' post='2190578']
I have a question for you hewha Y Pub. What is the nature of the work? One of the problems I see is that it is presented like a Divine Revelation, which is what we as Catholics would obviously have a problem with. And it is clearly not a private revelation.

But if it is a fictional account, with elements of the doctrine of the Return of Jesus, Second Coming, which is what it must be, then I would have no problems with the idea of it, though I might not like the actual work or perhaps as a Catholic disagree with some views expressed in the work. What I am trying to say is, why not just present it as fictional? Then there would be a lot less misunderstanding, confusion, jokes, opprobrium, etc.

Please dont take this the wrong way I am being open and sincere.
[/quote]

[MIKolbe]

What about this question?

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291162158' post='2190094']
Ok I'm gonna skip about 30 pages here and get right to the marrow of the thing:
Do you believe that you are Jesus Christ, or some especially appointed messenger* thereof?



*No semantics games about how "every Christian is specially appointed to spread the Gospel" or similar needed.
[/quote]

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hewhaY Pub' timestamp='1291358431' post='2190582']
No your wrong in fact the book is 777 pages long but you are very right in seeing that this result was very purposeful. In fact pages were removed to make the number exactly 777. And there is no page 666.
[/quote]

That would make the book 776 pages.

[hewhaY Pub]

No the numbering was made to end at page 777 and there is no 666 (the designer accidentally took out page 667 as well) but I am actually unsure how many pages there are - like 638 or so I think.
Basically the book is made up of two books and notes for both.
The notes were made not as foot or end notes but as middle notes and they both break up the two halves of the book and provide the gap for the missing pages to go missing.
So the order of the work is 1) chronological life account 2) combined notes 3) The Seven Measures
The last page of The Seven Measures is made to be page 777.
Its just a cheesy little thing.

[quote name='HisChildForever' timestamp='1291413161' post='2190794']
That would make the book 776 pages.
[/quote]

[MithLuin]

Ah, yes, Plato, not Dante. That is what I meant. Just had Dante on the brain. And no, you are not able to edit your first post anymore. The edit option has a quick time out here.

If you aren't interested in improving your writing, [b]Pub[/b], that's cool; I'll stop offering free editing advice. Novice writers always make glaring errors (I should know, I am one), but you've at least spell-checked your work, so your writing and grammar is better off than at least some self-published stuff I've read online.

Hehe, I also love 'penultimate' - it looks and sounds cool, but has a cool meaning as well. I also like the incongruity of saying something like 'I am not particularly loquacious in the mornings,' because the very use of the word belies the meaning. Being a word-geek is fun, but just sprinkling your favorite words throughout doesn't really work, because they are jarring compared to the style of the rest of the writing. They stick out and don't look like they organically belong in the passage. If you aren't trying to be ironic...elevate the rest of your writing to match.

Your stuff sounds intensely self-absorbed and paranoid. I can't imagine too many people are going to offer to pay $14 for the pleasure of reading your work. Still, I know it takes a lot of work to put something like that together (777 pages, eek!), and I know it's more than mildly disappointing to have your hopes and pride in your pet project dashed so thoroughly. So...my condolences.

[quote]Not a single one of the many many many negative comments, slurs and ad hominem attacks that have been rapidly pouring down upon me comes courtesy of someone who has actually read the book.[/quote]

Well, it's quite clear from the excerpts what type of book this is, so anyone who is not interested in the intense internal navel-gazing of someone who presents as a slightly narcissistic paranoid schizophrenic probably isn't going to bother buying it. Have you received [i]any[/i] positive remarks or interest in seeing more of your work?




[b]M Kolbe[/b], the answer to [b]US Airways'[/b] question is an emphatic and blatant YES. He says as much in the excerpts shared online, and he claimed here that the memoir-style work is nonfiction, so..... I suppose your question is being ignored because the author wants you to click on the link. I hope I've saved you the trouble.

Why am I replying? Not just because I'm bored. I like to give people the benefit of treating them seriously. That way, when I conclude, 'You're [mod]MIKolbe-Language[/mod] insane,' it's not just an off-the-cuff remark; it's sincere. I am fully aware that the purpose of the opening post was simply to promote the work of the poster, and any phatmass-specific window dressing was merely superficial flattery aimed at appealing to our sense of pride. In other words...duh, this is just spam. But how often do you meet someone who claims to be Jesus (not reincarnated but just 'back')?

[hewhaY Pub]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1291422055' post='2190833']
Have you received [i]any[/i] positive remarks or interest in seeing more of your work?
[/quote]

Yes! but not from Phatmass
While there is full appreciation for this thread not being removed and me banned I stand quite distressed that no one at Phatmass has indicated a willingness to step up and read/review the actual work.
I think it is probably due to the initial belief that those most devoted to Christ (as to be the type of person who is a member of a Christian forum) are going to be among the least willing to hear and allow abridgment or addition upon the Jesus they already firmly believe in.

That said with this thread devolving into nothing but tangential sidetracks into areas like semantics and literary references (such that even I am losing interest in it) I thought I would once again seek to fulfill its original purpose and try to cajole someone into having the cajones to step up and actually read and review the work.
Now admittedly having a healthy dose of curiosity and a hefty dollop of free time are far more relevant characteristics but maybe a smattering of everything is what is truly needed.

But yes others do have whatever combination of personal factors which makes them eager and excited to read the work from what little they know of it but I did really want to hear from a few devoted Christians to try to get some gauge of its reception among the very same. I mean of course I knew the basic claim was going to receive base derision. There is no surprise that a post claiming to herald the return of the Godman largely gets calls for the person making it to receive psychiatric medical attention. As the book itself well states you can't just make the open bare bones statement of "I Am God" and expect anything except caustic disbelief. Hence the necessity of the book and at least a few people to actually read it and be willing to challenge their own instinctual rejection.

So once again if anyone here is willing to read the purported autobiography of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ quite appropriately titled "I Am God" send your info to info@iamgodjesuschrist.com and a free copy can be mailed out to you.

Other than that may blessings and a good Christmas be upon and for one and all here!

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291162158' post='2190094']
Ok I'm gonna skip about 30 pages here and get right to the marrow of the thing:
Do you believe that you are Jesus Christ, or some especially appointed messenger* thereof?



*No semantics games about how "every Christian is specially appointed to spread the Gospel" or similar needed.
[/quote]

[CatherineM]

I will look at the work once you answer U.S.'s question. It has been asked/bumped several times, and you have yet to answer.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hewhaY Pub' timestamp='1291474693' post='2190922']
There is no surprise that a post claiming to herald the return of the Godman largely gets calls for the person making it to receive psychiatric medical attention.
[/quote]

Jesus Himself warned us of the coming of false prophets and messiahs. He also said that when He returns, "every eye" will see Him - I doubt He meant posts on an online forum. Anyway, you have a lot of competition. First, Jesus. Then, all the other men out there who claim to be Jesus. I think there was one on Phatmass not too long ago. And I saw a documentary of this guy out in the desert who has a cult following.

[Seven77]

he uses God's Holy Name backwards and expects us to take him seriously?

[LivingStone]

Yup. I thought I'd use Christ's words straight up. Here is what He's got to say on this comical matter at hand:

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? So, every sound tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears evil fruit. A sound tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits. Not every one who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven. On that day many will say to Me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your Name, and cast out demons in Your Name, and do many mighty works in Your Name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you evildoers.'" (Matthew 7:15-23 RSV)

"For false Christs and false prophets will arise and show great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect." (Matthew 24:24 RSV)

"For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is not strange if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness." (2 Corinthians 11:13-15 RSV)

That is all. Then again, maybe I'm just not being open minded. :/

[hewhaY Pub]

Wrong - Hebrew reads right to left.

[quote name='Seven77' timestamp='1291517078' post='2190976']
he uses God's Holy Name backwards and expects us to take him seriously?
[/quote]

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='hewhaY Pub' timestamp='1291520796' post='2190983']
Wrong - Hebrew reads right to left.
[/quote]
Hebrew also uses funny letters that don't look like Y, a, h, w, or e. Plus the fact that the choice vowels that you ascribe to the word are completely historically unfounded. In any case, I ask again:

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291162158' post='2190094']
Do you believe that you are Jesus Christ, or some especially appointed messenger* thereof?



*No semantics games about how "every Christian is specially appointed to spread the Gospel" or similar needed.
[/quote]

Edited December 5, 2010 by USAirwaysIHS