Jesus Christ's One And Only Autobiography - Now Available

[MithLuin]

Yes, I understand metaphor.

It was the clumsy use of an extended metaphor that I was criticizing. For instance, to use your example from [i]Hamlet[/i], it is significant that the rottenness of the state of Denmark is commented upon only [i]once[/i]. A single, succinct reference has much more power than a repeated description. If you wish to repeat the [i]idea[/i], then you must elaborate on it. There's too much build up; not enough 'punch'. Kinda like repeating the vision with the police officers verbatim - the reader gets that the image was stuck in your mind, being mulled over repeatedly. But, add a detail the second time, or use a different turn of phrase to describe the demeanor of the two men. All you said was their race and which one did the talking. Surely there was something else that could be said?

It is also amusing to me that you expect me to take 'putrid' figuratively, while you interpret 'born again' literally.

Randomly sprinkling the same 'fancy' word throughout a story when its specific meaning is not needed is probably not the most effective writing style - a single use would be sufficient in most cases...or at most [i]one[/i] repetition. Though, I would guess you do not repeat words like 'defenestrated,' they also appear out of sync with your otherwise informal style.


Yes, the website linked to is quite clearly someone who has written an autobiographical story with an awakening awareness that he is the Son of God, out to destroy the Serpent. The excerpts relate two childhood encounters with snakes and then some theology centering on time vs eternity. The epiphany moment of realizing that he was really God is compared to waking from a dream and Dante's Allegory of the People in the Cave (a moment that occurred at midnight during a rave for a band called...wait for it...'I am God'). The next part describes a panic attack after waking from a nightmare, in which the paranoid mantra 'I have been betrayed; they are coming for me' ran through his head while he had a prescient vision of the arrival of two police officers - he was aware of the lack of logic and reason in this reaction, but..... He later realizes that not only is he God, his name is Jesus Christ (I think something about the year 2000 played a role in that realization, but I'm not sure - something about the date and time of the rave previously mentioned). The result of this realization was a fascination with mirrors - staring at his own reflection - which was even more pronounced because he moved to a building with mirrored hallways. There is some angst over whether he is pretty enough to really be God, or, after seeing a girl with a deformed face, [i]too[/i] pretty. He stares at others in socially unacceptable ways, but does not work up the courage to tell the girl (with the deformed face) at the new rave that he is God and Jesus loves her already.

She might think he was crazy or something.

The full book is precisely 700 pages long. I'd recommend an editor, but I suspect that number is SIGNIFICANT, as is the fact that the last word is 'love.' I'm sure this account will be useful for identifying and treating the problems. After all, if he's really who he claims to be, the medication should have no effect, so there's no risk. But if this [i]is[/i] all an insane delusion....well, there's treatment for that.

[ardillacid]

This is a joke. Why are people responding to this?

[PaladinSoG]

Because people are bored most likely...

[ardillacid]

hmm...I guess that is possible

[Seven77]

This is a bunch of incoherent gibberish. Jesus don't make no junk.

In a sense Christians are called to be living biographies of Christ...

[Sternhauser]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1291166240' post='2190106']
Yes, I had one in my classroom a few weeks ago.

They don't smell putrid unless they're dead and rotting.
[/quote]

Or unless you touch them, they don't like it, and they exude a fluid from their musk glands which can only be described as "putrid," unless you want to use the word "vile," which you are more than welcome to.

~Sternhauser

Edited December 3, 2010 by Sternhauser

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='Sternhauser' timestamp='1291334752' post='2190474']
Or unless you touch them, they don't like it, and they exude a fluid from their musk glands which can only be described as "putrid," unless you want to use the word "vile," which you are more than welcome to.

~Sternhauser
[/quote]

Yes. That's my impression. Every time my siblings and I would catch a garter snake, it would make our hands smell like... well, like rotten eggs.
And some egg eating snakes just give off that smell, without being touched or bothered. That's how we knew one was living in our attic.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291143217' post='2190041']
Also, I'm pretty sure Jesus never wrote an autobiography.
[/quote]

Yes, He did. I got it off Amazon. You can borrow my copy if interested.

[BG45]

[quote name='HisChildForever' timestamp='1291336116' post='2190486']
Yes, He did. I got it off Amazon. You can borrow my copy if interested.
[/quote]

Oh feel free to mail it here when he's done.

[sixpence]

[quote name='notardillacid' timestamp='1291265749' post='2190296']
This is a joke. Why are people responding to this?
[/quote]

...bored....

[hewhaY Pub]

First off I would try the link again. I just tried it and it seems to be working fine. Also I know from the site info that there are people using the link from Phatmass. I can't see how it would be an issue with your browser but if all else fails just go ahead and type it in.
www.iamgodjesuschrist.com

[quote name='let_go_let_God' timestamp='1291229153' post='2190219']
I agree, and btw the link, doesn't work. My parishioners bring me stuff to make sure it's credible or not so I'm always looking at links. So I clicked it (like this needed debunking anyway), and it doesn't work.

God bless-
LGLG
[/quote]

[hewhaY Pub]

Oh yes this is it first one is busted but second one works. And no definitely not internet savvy - for instance I am not even sure if you can or cannot modify your posts here so I could fix the hyphen problem. I don't think you can but I could be missing the option somewhere as I know most forums have an edit function available.

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1291230015' post='2190223']
I don't think he did, I think the OP is just not terribly internet savvy and put the hyphen — which would, if it were correct, be an em dash anyway — at the end of the URL, rendering it useless (rather ironic, considering the product that it's promoting). The second link is intact.
[/quote]

[hewhaY Pub]

Originally I was with you and I assumed it would be tons all around (tons of lovers, tons of haters, tons just reading for pure entertainment value) but now I am rapidly moving from a big bang theory to a slow sizzle conception for the work. But I still do have this in my corner. Not a single one of the many many many negative comments, slurs and ad hominem attacks that have been rapidly pouring down upon me comes courtesy of someone who has actually read the book. Everything negative (and its a big barrel of opprobrium) has been directed towards the general idea of there being a Second Coming and not the specific story I present of the same.


[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1291221469' post='2190199']

2. This looks like an [b]AWESOME[/b] money-making scheme!!! I wish I had thought of it! You'll drag in a few gullible people, a ton of curious people just looking for amusement, and a ton of people who will read it just to prove that it is fake!!! Congrats!

[/quote]

[kafka]

I have a question for you hewha Y Pub. What is the nature of the work? One of the problems I see is that it is presented like a Divine Revelation, which is what we as Catholics would obviously have a problem with. And it is clearly not a private revelation.

But if it is a fictional account, with elements of the doctrine of the Return of Jesus, Second Coming, which is what it must be, then I would have no problems with the idea of it, though I might not like the actual work or perhaps as a Catholic disagree with some views expressed in the work. What I am trying to say is, why not just present it as fictional? Then there would be a lot less misunderstanding, confusion, jokes, opprobrium, etc.

Please dont take this the wrong way I am being open and sincere.

Edited December 3, 2010 by kafka

[hewhaY Pub]

There is a lot here and I am very tired and need to go to sleep but just a few things.

It is precisely the point to repeat certain things. I can tell you one of the hardest things was coming up with synonyms for 'vile' so that they could be piled upon the Serpent. There was an effort never to just say "the Serpent" without at least one or two words noting how vile and heinous it is such that it is not just called 'repulsive' but 'revolting repulsive' or the like.
The vision is repeated without alteration because the very point is that the vision was non subject to alteration; no matter how much that was desired. The language sought to convey the very static and unwavering nature of it such that your criticism simply notes how successful the effort was because you are complaining about how static and unwavering the vision was presented as being (YES EXACTLY!!). You may not like the writing style but the important thing is you got the point of the writing and this is not a work of entertainment. For instance how many 'begats' are in the Bible - I bet more than one person has said okay we get it there was begating a plenty.

Funny you say that because I adore the word "defenestrated" - it is one of my all time favorites. How cool is it that there is a specific (and fairly well known word) for throwing something or someone out of a window. I actually remember getting excited hearing defenestrated for the first time cause I just thought it was so awesome their was a word for such a specific action. In short the English language is just flat out awesome. I also like 'cacophony' as its almost an onomatopoeia in how perfect it fits its definition. And I liked penultimate so much I wanted to change its meaning. I know it means second to last but to me it just sounds like ultimate-lust. Oh and surfeit, I really like surfeit. And there are others because I am a super nerd who has things like favorite words.

I don't know if Dante has a cave allegory as I am not really familiar with him but I know the book's cave reference is actually from The Republic by Plato.

No your wrong in fact the book is 777 pages long but you are very right in seeing that this result was very purposeful. In fact pages were removed to make the number exactly 777. And there is no page 666.
This was not done because of the way these numbers are typically thought about (666 being called the number of the beast and 777 being lucky) but because these numbers have particular Christian meaning.
The number of days to create all of creation was 7 for example. Basically in holy terms 6 means incomplete and 7 means complete. So the work takes out page 666 cause it means totally incomplete and it was structured to end at 777 cause numerically that means utterly complete..
This sort of thing is just cute stuff included because there is nothing wrong with having a little cuteness.

I don't like to post something that I have written while this tired but at this stage probably not a lot to lose.



[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1291265415' post='2190293']
Yes, I understand metaphor.

It was the clumsy use of an extended metaphor that I was criticizing. For instance, to use your example from [i]Hamlet[/i], it is significant that the rottenness of the state of Denmark is commented upon only [i]once[/i]. A single, succinct reference has much more power than a repeated description. If you wish to repeat the [i]idea[/i], then you must elaborate on it. There's too much build up; not enough 'punch'. Kinda like repeating the vision with the police officers verbatim - the reader gets that the image was stuck in your mind, being mulled over repeatedly. But, add a detail the second time, or use a different turn of phrase to describe the demeanor of the two men. All you said was their race and which one did the talking. Surely there was something else that could be said?

It is also amusing to me that you expect me to take 'putrid' figuratively, while you interpret 'born again' literally.

Randomly sprinkling the same 'fancy' word throughout a story when its specific meaning is not needed is probably not the most effective writing style - a single use would be sufficient in most cases...or at most [i]one[/i] repetition. Though, I would guess you do not repeat words like 'defenestrated,' they also appear out of sync with your otherwise informal style.


Yes, the website linked to is quite clearly someone who has written an autobiographical story with an awakening awareness that he is the Son of God, out to destroy the Serpent. The excerpts relate two childhood encounters with snakes and then some theology centering on time vs eternity. The epiphany moment of realizing that he was really God is compared to waking from a dream and Dante's Allegory of the People in the Cave (a moment that occurred at midnight during a rave for a band called...wait for it...'I am God'). The next part describes a panic attack after waking from a nightmare, in which the paranoid mantra 'I have been betrayed; they are coming for me' ran through his head while he had a prescient vision of the arrival of two police officers - he was aware of the lack of logic and reason in this reaction, but..... He later realizes that not only is he God, his name is Jesus Christ (I think something about the year 2000 played a role in that realization, but I'm not sure - something about the date and time of the rave previously mentioned). The result of this realization was a fascination with mirrors - staring at his own reflection - which was even more pronounced because he moved to a building with mirrored hallways. There is some angst over whether he is pretty enough to really be God, or, after seeing a girl with a deformed face, [i]too[/i] pretty. He stares at others in socially unacceptable ways, but does not work up the courage to tell the girl (with the deformed face) at the new rave that he is God and Jesus loves her already.

She might think he was crazy or something.

The full book is precisely 700 pages long. I'd recommend an editor, but I suspect that number is SIGNIFICANT, as is the fact that the last word is 'love.' I'm sure this account will be useful for identifying and treating the problems. After all, if he's really who he claims to be, the medication should have no effect, so there's no risk. But if this [i]is[/i] all an insane delusion....well, there's treatment for that.
[/quote]