Pcpa Vows

[MarieLynn]

[quote name='FSM Sister' timestamp='1291184296' post='2190159']
Tradmom, you have hit the nail on the head! I know a mother who has gone through something similar to what you have gone through, having a daughter in religious life. There was a painful period after being released while in temporary vows, living in a small town where everyone knows everything. She felt like she had no privacy. Walking down the street in lay clothes, after years in a habit, felt like walking down the street in a hospital gown. So many of the mom's friends would bring it up, very carefully. First they would ask how she was doing, as if they were truly concerned. That would be followed up by more personal questions, such as, "Did she decide to leave, or was she asked to leave?" Only someone who has lived it can relate to it. These good sisters whose vocation stories/professions end up on the internet have much to offer up, in that they do not get to decide whether or not their vocation will be made public. You are so very right - those who are seriously discerning need to develop a sense of knowing what sort of questions can be asked/raised/discussed on public forums, for all to see, and what sort of questions need to be asked privately. A vocation is an intimate relationship between a woman and her Spouse, and some questions are as inappropriate as asking someone you don't even know personally, who has a vocation to marriage, to describe every kiss and intimate conversation they had while dating. Going back to my example of an inappropriate question: "Why did you leave, or why were you asked to leave your community?" I know some posters think one can answer this question without getting into specifics by saying something general, such as, "It just wasn't a good fit," but those who ask the question in the first place are usually not satisfied with a general answer. They want to know [i]how[/i] you know, and what led up to your decision, and if you are sure that your decision was also God's will for you, and if so, how? I think the bottom line for discerners is to find out about the charism and apostolate of the community. If you feel attracted to that spirituality, and are fairly confident that you can live by the rules of that community, don't worry so much about all the externals. Just [i]pray[/i] for the grace of perseverance and [i]allow[/i] God's grace to work! That is what the disciples did. They followed our Lord immediately. If they had spent three years discerning whether or not to follow Him, they would have missed the opportunity completely!
[/quote]


I agree wholeheartedly Sister with your above post. That happened to me too when I left my Community years ago. I would go to Mass on the Sunday morning and people I barely knew would come up to me after Mass and ask how I was doing, and if I was settling back into 'normal' life again. I felt as though they were hoping I would say something that may have given them some inkling as to why I had come home. In fact, if they had only realised how insensitive I found the questions, they may have been a little less nosey.
One woman whose daughter had been at school with me actually said that 'we married women cannot walk out on our husbands, as the Church does not permit divorce, but its OK for you to walk out on your yours' I found that really hurtful. I actually changed parishes for awhile, as there was nobody at the new parish who knew that I had been ' in the convent'. I know that there are some people who are well meaning, but then again there are unfortunately some who want to find out all the ' juicy bits' and pass it around. It is painful enough when you first come home, without people lining up and asking questions.

[DameAgnes]

[quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1291243276' post='2190254']
Hooray!

That is a perfectly lovely story -- and explains her (rather unusual!) name.

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know that story.

AND at the same time she strengthens a small monastery that has not had a solemn profession in ages.

Yay yay yay.
[/quote]

Actually, the community just celebrated Sr. Therese Marie's solemn profession about two months ago. But yes, it is certainly a fledgling community. I believe Sr. Mary Raphael is again in temporary vows, right?

Edited December 2, 2010 by DameAgnes

[Chiquitunga]

[quote name='In The Arms of The Lord' timestamp='1291245295' post='2190259']
I must have watched that older vocation video of her so many times before! This is great news; I'm very happy for her. Making her final profession must have been so fulfilling for her; waiting for that day to come. They have a slide show of her profession on the website, and also of another Sister's profession. (Go to "Nun News" and then "Photo Gallery") [url="http://www.stjosephmonastery.com/"]http://www.stjosephmonastery.com/[/url]
[/quote]

Thanks for pointing that out! That was so beautiful! [url="http://catholicvoicenc.org/publish_to_web/index.html"]Here's[/url] the direct link

[krissylou]

[quote name='DameAgnes' timestamp='1291285577' post='2190327']
Actually, the community just celebrated Sr. Therese Marie's solemn profession about two months ago. But yes, it is certainly a fledgling community. I believe Sr. Mary Raphael is again in temporary vows, right?
[/quote]


Ah, you're right. I had combined two recent events in my head. They had left Ohio recently (my home diocese) after not having any new professions in for-ev-er. Still, the general idea is right even if I had some of the details off.

On the bigger question -- hmm. I certainly admit to finding the blogs of the Summit Dominicans and Whitesville Passionists fascinating. And of course Summit's novitiate has exploded since they started blogging. But even aside from those who enter these particular monasteries, I wonder how many people are drawn to monastic life through these "looks inside the cloister" and then enter elsewhere. I bet there are a lot.

There's a downside, of course, They never mention when someone in formation leaves -- but we all notice when they stop showing up in pictures. And it's one thing for, say, two dozen young women to enter Nashville and then say eighteen become novices a year later (obviously I'm just making these numbers up). When we're all saying "Hey! There used to be six people in the novitiate photos and now there are five. Where did Sister Such-and-So go?" that's different.

Sr. Mary Catharine has blogged before (in general, not referring to any individuals) about "of course some people leave during formation and that's fine and to be expected and there's a REASON people don't profess perpetual vows on the day they enter (although most new entrants want to do exactly that ...)." But still.

But maybe, for SOME communities, inviting the world inside their monastery in this way is part of their calling. And it probably shouldn't be routine for all contemplative communities to do this. But I can see how it is a real gift to the Church that a few communities do.