Hey Guys (And Gals) How Did You Know That Your Wife (Or Hubby) Was The

[CatherineM]

I also believe that love is a choice. You can choose to stay even when things are difficult. You can learn to compromise. You can learn to play fair in fights. There are a lot of surrenders in love.

[ardillacid]

How long are you going to make everyone wait until you tell us you are going to propose?

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1290557723' post='2188904']
1. A Devout Practicing Catholic Who Is Faithful to the Magesterium of the Church Who Loves God Above All Else
2. Doesn’t See Divorce as an Option
3. An Authentic Gentleman- genuine, chivalrous, not arrogant or rude, not possessive, not the jealous type, not abusive, lovingly protective, faithful, willing to sacrifice out of love, confident, striving for purity of thought action and speech, cooperative, respectful, responsible, and trustworthy

4. Not Clingy
5. We love each other for who we are.
6. He agrees with me that when it comes to children that we should take it one at a time and make decisions about when and if we have more depending on the will of God and what is best for our family.
7. When it comes to whether or not I stay at home to raise the children or not, that we do what God calls us to and what is best for our entire family. My temperament may just not be right for it or we may not have the finances to do so.
8. He has a sense of humor.
9. We are physically attracted to each other. We don’t have to be right away, but if it never comes then it is a problem.
[/quote]
I'm not knocking your list at all, I think it's quite good, but just a couple of things to consider:
1) I'm glad my husband didn't limit himself to dating good Catholic girls, since I wasn't Catholic when we started dating. Now, I'm not saying you should abandon that, because there's never a guarantee he'll convert, and it can be quite difficult to be in a relationship when you aren't on the same page, but something to consider
2) Don't get caught up in the stay-at-home-parent or working-parent thing. I really thought I'd want to keep working once K was born, but I didn't, and so we made it work. I think it caught my husband off-guard that I didn't want to work outside the home (unless I could bring K with me) any more, too.

[quote name='fides' Jack' timestamp='1290625443' post='2189064']
I completely relate to that. I think that's very well put.
[/quote]
Glad I made sense.

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1290626051' post='2189066']
I also believe that love is a choice. You can choose to stay even when things are difficult. You can learn to compromise. You can learn to play fair in fights. There are a lot of surrenders in love.
[/quote]

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1290557723' post='2188904']
1. A Devout Practicing Catholic Who Is Faithful to the Magesterium of the Church Who Loves God Above All Else
2. Doesn’t See Divorce as an Option
3. An Authentic Gentleman- genuine, chivalrous, not arrogant or rude, not possessive, not the jealous type, not abusive, lovingly protective, faithful, willing to sacrifice out of love, confident, striving for purity of thought action and speech, cooperative, respectful, responsible, and trustworthy

4. Not Clingy
5. We love each other for who we are.
6. He agrees with me that when it comes to children that we should take it one at a time and make decisions about when and if we have more depending on the will of God and what is best for our family.
7. When it comes to whether or not I stay at home to raise the children or not, that we do what God calls us to and what is best for our entire family. My temperament may just not be right for it or we may not have the finances to do so.
8. He has a sense of humor.
9. We are physically attracted to each other. We don’t have to be right away, but if it never comes then it is a problem.
[/quote]

That is reasonable. Make sure you are in a good Catholic college so you catch your MRS with your BA or BS degrees.

[rachael]

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1290636939' post='2189095']
That is reasonable. Make sure you are in a good Catholic college so you catch your MRS with your BA or BS degrees.
[/quote]
stop it...

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='rachael' timestamp='1290637003' post='2189096']
stop it...
[/quote]

Make me.

[rachael]

[tinytherese]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1290629565' post='2189080']
Don't get caught up in the stay-at-home-parent or working-parent thing. I really thought I'd want to keep working once K was born, but I didn't, and so we made it work. I think it caught my husband off-guard that I didn't want to work outside the home (unless I could bring K with me) any more, too.

[/quote]

Oh I'm not saying that me staying at home would never happen. I've just known some men who believe that the wife MUST stay at home with the kids and will not compromise on that. I may end up staying home, but I don't want being a working mom to be out of the question.

Edited November 26, 2010 by tinytherese

[tinytherese]

I'd say that finding an authentic gentleman is the hardest to find, even with the guys active in campus ministry and who attend daily mass.


Why are the good ones I keep meeting either taken or discerning the priesthood (especially the last one)?

Edited November 26, 2010 by tinytherese

[XIX]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' timestamp='1290357775' post='2188366']
I had a traumatic breakup prior to dating my husband and had some baggage to get rid of.
[/quote]
Aww, so you had your 2008 SCF before your 2009 SCF. :-D

[quote name='fides quarens intellectum' timestamp='1290359387' post='2188373']
met someone, eh, XIX?
[/quote]
this statement isn't false, yet it's not the main impetus behind my asking all of this stuff.

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1290365149' post='2188388']

[b]Did you have a strong idea that this was someone special when you first met?[/b]
No. She seemed cool, she was pretty, and was actually willing to talk to me for over 5 minutes. I was too amazed at my luck to think about that. [/quote]
That sounds more like a yes than a no.

[quote][b]If not, how did you know you wanted to ask her (him) out?[/b]
I enjoyed my time with her. We loved to talk together. I figured I would ask her out. I was only 16, I was not the cerebral giant I am today. I just liked being around her. [/quote]


[quote][b]Initial attraction?[/b]
Not sure I understand this question.. yes, I was initally attracted to her. She was cute. Then we talked, and then she was beautiful.[/quote]
Initial attraction basically means you were attracted to her the first time you saw her.

[quote][b]Were you just desperately in love? If so, how much did that play into the decision?[/b]
Did we go through the "I-love-you-no-I-love-you-more-no-I-love-you-more" phase? yeah.. But that phase comes quickly and ends even quicklier. If there is no substance, you know it.[/quote]



[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1290557723' post='2188904']
1. A Devout Practicing Catholic Who Is Faithful to the Magesterium of the Church Who Loves God Above All Else
2. Doesn’t See Divorce as an Option
3. An Authentic Gentleman- genuine, chivalrous, not arrogant or rude, not possessive, not the jealous type, not abusive, lovingly protective, faithful, willing to sacrifice out of love, confident, striving for purity of thought action and speech, cooperative, respectful, responsible, and trustworthy

4. Not Clingy
5. We love each other for who we are.
6. He agrees with me that when it comes to children that we should take it one at a time and make decisions about when and if we have more depending on the will of God and what is best for our family.
7. When it comes to whether or not I stay at home to raise the children or not, that we do what God calls us to and what is best for our entire family. My temperament may just not be right for it or we may not have the finances to do so.
8. He has a sense of humor.
9. We are physically attracted to each other. We don’t have to be right away, but if it never comes then it is a problem.
[/quote]
Seems very much like my own checklist--although I'm seriously re-evaluating whether I care too much about the "physically attractive."

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1290626051' post='2189066']
I also believe that love is a choice. You can choose to stay even when things are difficult. You can learn to compromise. You can learn to play fair in fights. There are a lot of surrenders in love.
[/quote]
That's exactly what love is. Loving someone is almost entirely separate from falling in love--at least that's how I understand the semantic side of love.

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1290636939' post='2189095']
That is reasonable. Make sure you are in a good Catholic college so you catch your MRS with your BA or BS degrees.
[/quote]


And I didn't quote it, but what Fides' Jack said about "just knowing" kinda rings true. I don't want to "just know" that i'm marrying the right woman, I want to know that it's a good decision and all of that. And yet, all of the talk about "we just knew" resonates as well. Intuition can be a very powerful thing, especially with regard to major life decisions where you can't simply look at some data and "calculate" an answer. It's the same with career decisions--sometimes you "just know" that a certain path is the correct one.

But it's dangerous because when it comes to strong feelings of [i]eros,[/i] it's easy to get swept away by one's emotions.

[Sarah147]

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1290531731' post='2188812']
Were you just desperately in love? If so, how much did that play into the decision?

We loved each other deeply. Being best friends and in love it just made sense to get married.[b] I don't buy into the "there is one other person out there" for you thing. There are many different people you could marry and live long happy holy lives together with.[/b] That is why the process of prayer and discernment are so important before the commitment.

[/quote]

Years ago, I used to question that, but now I agree with your view about there being many potentials out there for people.

I'm looking into the Religious Life, but for others, I question if you shouldn't ask yourself who would be your ideal BEST friend, same gender. And then look for the man or woman that is like that. Whether it be the people in a Religious Community, family, friends, or fiance, they should be loving and Spiritual above all else. Those are the people that mean everything to me.