Adios Indwelling Trinity

[Chamomile]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1298044763' post='2213601']
It is not my place to disclose particular information about Vee8, but.... she needs LOTZ of prayerz!!!


..oh wait...
[/quote]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/priest.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/priest.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/priest.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/priest.gif[/img]

[Indwelling Trinity]

[quote name='sistersintigo' timestamp='1297967837' post='2213331']
It is not my place to disclose particular information about Indwelling Trinity and her fellow Carmelites up North.
However, until you hear from her or from someone whom she has asked to post for her, a word to the wise:
Indwelling Trinity and her fellow hermits are having serious conversations about how her community can aid and support her
in what they believe God is calling her to do.
The news could be positive, not necessarily negative; but obviously this development touches IT very deeply.
Safe to say that IT would really, really value your prayers for her now.
[/quote]

My Dear Sister:

I thank you for your concern. what i do not understand is why you say "a word to th wise?" If anyone wishes to know my situation i will freely and openly give it. I am grateful for the love and prayers my sisters are giving me a as well as the Vicar for religious of the diocese.

In order to dispel any misgivings or misinformation anyone may have I will relate to you what has passed between me and my sisters. Is the situation complicated... Yes and it is tearing at all our hearts. I love them and they in turn have loved me and continue to love me as they would Jesus as undeserving as I am.

These past 4 months have been a taste of heaven for me as my soul delights in the silence and the solitude of life in the hermitage. Community life is joy filled when we are together but as in every life we are human and have our faults and weaknesses. However we are real. We are not playing nun nor do we pretend to be what we are not. However we all try to respond to each other in love and listen intently to what God is speaking in our hearts.

Firstly, Those of you who have known me know of my past medical problems. Before coming back to the monastery i had been bedridden and at times near death for over a year. God gave me the grace and determination of soul to rid myself of my feeding tubes and IV's and to trust him to care for me: and He has. When i first arrived back at the monastery I was still very weak... Vee can attest to that. Nevertheless i put one foot in front of the other in the attempt to continue to respond to God in Love.

During these months several thing have happened. First, about six weeks ago I had a relapse and had to be hospitalized for dehydration due to persistent vomiting from my gastroparesis ( Stomach Paralysis) I was taken to the Mayo clinic and there had a complete medical evaluation. The results of the work up were that I now have not only partial gastric paralysis but also lower intestinal dysfunction, Three early cancerous polyps were removed from my intestine and in addition to this, I have been found to have restrictive lung disease and Black lung disease now known as RADS requiring me to be on a ventilator at night as i stop breathing and have significant oxygen depletion. I am now also being worked up for possible cervical CA. (which i doubt i have).

The Doctors have told me that all these illnesses I am suffering are a direct result of my having been a first medical responder to the World Trade Center Disaster. I was there attending the wounded and sick for the first 48 hours and because if the magnitude of the situation and the fact that no emrgency response system was in place for such a disaster, those of us who responded did not have any protective masks or other protective gear. As a result we were inhaling not only 5000 tons of asbestos floating in the air but also pulverized glass and concrete, burning Jet fuel, heavy metals and carbon monoxide to list but a few. To date over 950 of those of us who were there in the first 72 hours have died. OK this is one element in my community's vote. We are a small commnity as few people have the vocation to be hermits. My mother Prioress has Cancer and another sister Parkinsons with other complications. Adding me to the roster would deplete their resources both financially as well as make it impossible for them to live the full hermit life should i need heavy duty care in the future. Right now i am up and on my feet and with God's grace will remain so for i know there is still much work for me to do for Him in drawing souls to Him and offering myself for others.

This brings me to the second point. Before coming back to the monastery, many people had been writing me asking for spiritual direction. 48 in total. After returning many continued to write. Why me?.... laughing beats the heck out of me! It just is. At one point our Sub Prioress received i guess what you would call a locution and i do not say things like this lightly as I tend to back off from such things, That I was to be a superior and foundress. Nothing was said to me but sister told Mother and the community was silently praying about it. Mother concurred. Both began to stress that God was giving me special graces not for myself but to draw others and that if I do not respond, God's designs would not be done as soon as he wishes.They felt that just the fact that so many still write, was and indication that there was in addition to my hermit vocation another vocation within a vocation to draw others. Hence why i now again have access to the internet with Reverend Mother's permission.

They consulted the council who also prayed and agreed that this was what God was calling me to. My calling Is to remain a hermit in a community but not in the way i envisioned it. The decision was devastating to me as my only wish was to remain hidden from all offering myself in love to the father for the ransom of souls. I thought that here in the hermitage i could best do so. In the past i had been told by others that God was calling me to begin a community. I was told not by just any one but by some heavy weights in the church two who have since died and are now in the process of beatification. Everytime i said no not me it is impossible. Now again I am being given the same message form my Superior and community as well as our confessor who is a former Trappist Abbot, Canon lawyer, seminary teacher, and psychologist as well as the exorcist for the diocese appointed by the Bishop.. So Father is no light weight either. If and until this community is started I will remain attached to the Hermits of St. Mary of Carmel by my vows. We are now looking inot some hermitage property on 80 acres with all hermitages and main monastery intact which is about three hours away from where our current monastery is. Mother was the builder of this original hermitage where the hermits first began.

All of this is ripping my heart out. I love my life here and am loved. I cannot see anything clearly but know even amidst tears that i have to follow God's lead even though i rather not go down this road. In the past God has given me the vision in my heart of a semi-eremetical Carmelite community devoted to fulfilling the request of Divine Mercy which Jesus gave to St. Faustina but was never fulfilled. Carmel is imprinted indelibly on my soul but so is Divine Mercy. Should this be God's will, I know it will not consist of many souls but only a few little souls burning with love to give themselves completely to him no holds barred in gratitude for His Mercy, to console his Merciful heart and also to dedicate their lives for the ransom of many especially for the souls of many priests and religious who are in danger of being lost through sin, loss of faith and infidelity to their sacred vows. In silence and solitude, in a prayer that is unceasing we will unite ourselves with our crucified spouse being transformed into Him so much so that when the Father looks upon us he will see not us but only an image of His Beloved Son. And the father will laugh with joy! By our diminishment in union with Jesus we will unite heaven and earth that others may find their way to God's infinite mercy.

Our lives will be modeled on His from the cradle to the cross shown forth especially in the virtues of a deep humility and obedience given in Love in union with Jesus who became humble and obedient even unto death on the cross of love for us and the Father in order to restore all things in God. In immitation our Mother Mary we will at each moment seek to utter our own "fiat" to God not counting the cost but rather embracing God's holy will in silence solitude prayer and penance and a tender mercy for each other and all whom we embrace in our hearts.

I leave out for now the particulars of this community. If it be God's will he will provide the souls and the means. and if it is not, i am happy to let go quietly and gently for of myself i only wish to do His will even as painful as it may be at times. Somehow in the darkness of this unknowing and feeling of abandonment on the human level, my soul is still able to eek out a feeble but silent yes to His will for me. And if no one comes..... Then i will continue to live it until my last breath with the grace of God. Of myself an endeavor like this is impossible and overwhelming; but with God at my side anything is possible. And so when i pray for rain...I will carry an umbrella trusting he will hear my poor prayer for i ask nothing for myself but only that He may be glorified in any manner He wishes.

Yes My heart knows fear at the unknown, but in that fear i beg him to give me the ability to continue to say yes to Him whom my soul loves and who continues to love me even amidst the darkness and weakness that envelopes me. And so i sit silently before Him waiting to hear His word spoken in my heart.


I hope this clarifies some of the misgivings others may have felt.

I love you all so very much!

Tenderly,

Sister Emmanuel

[jruss]

Sister!!!!!!
So glad to see you (albeit reluctanly) back on the forum. Ha, as you see, I finally made it around to posting!
I want you to know that I have never ceased praying for you. I would have loved to have kept corresponding with you, but I have "put myself in last place" in your regard since I am not a religious or aspiring to be one. But thank you for all of your advice in the past.
I will pray even more earnestly for you now.
Please continue to pray for my little son, as the enemy still has him in his crosshairs.
I love you!
Jen R

[cmaD2006]

IT

Sending lots of love and blessings via the 'net

-- C

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Sending prayers your way!

[vee]

Possible habit suggestion for your community but less winking and more ninja-y

[img]http://shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Nunchucks.jpg[/img]

[cruciatacara]

God's ways are not our ways as we all know, so whatever is happening in your life IT, it must be for the good of your soul, and as you appear to be open to it, perhaps many others will benefit as well. Ill health doesn't have to be the end of all activities either, since many foundresses were very ill and yet God used them anyway.

I'm sure that most Americans at least know of Rosalind Moss, who has been working on starting a new community in St Louis. I heard that her spiritual director told her to go ahead even if she didn't live to see it all to fruition and someone else took over (not because of health problems but simply because of her age, and most new communities take at least 25 years to become established). So even if you start something, and someone else carries on with the work (although God willing you will be around a long time) it will still be a gift to God. Trust will be the great gift for you, in any case.