sixpence Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Soo... I am a grad student in an entomology lab... My adviser has a post-doc from Egypt who has just had an adorable baby with her husband. She is only in the US for two years for this job. The dilema: my adviser has asked me to give up my office for a number of months so that the post-doc can bring the child to work, because they cannot afford infant childcare, and the other option is for my adviser to send her back to Egypt (which she is extremely against). My first objection to this solution was that everyone on the floor was going to be very annoyed with me for allowing a crying baby to have a place in the building. I was going to get over that for the sake of the post-doc. My next objection, though, is that this is not exactly a place I would ever bring a baby if I had one. The actual room is decent, but just across the hall there are genetics labs with lots of chemicals that cannot be good for young children to be exposed to. I [i]believe[/i] that she is aware of these risks, but I still feel uncomfortable allowing this to happen. BTW- I essentially already told my adviser that I would move out, before thinking it through all the way... I am so confused about what to do.... Suggestions?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhetoricfemme Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) [quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1286832451' post='2179152'] Soo... I am a grad student in an entomology lab... My adviser has a post-doc from Egypt who has just had an adorable baby with her husband. She is only in the US for two years for this job. The dilema: my adviser has asked me to give up my office for a number of months so that the post-doc can bring the child to work, because they cannot afford infant childcare, and the other option is for my adviser to send her back to Egypt (which she is extremely against). My first objection to this solution was that everyone on the floor was going to be very annoyed with me for allowing a crying baby to have a place in the building. I was going to get over that for the sake of the post-doc. My next objection, though, is that this is not exactly a place I would ever bring a baby if I had one. The actual room is decent, but just across the hall there are genetics labs with lots of chemicals that cannot be good for young children to be exposed to. I [i]believe[/i] that she is aware of these risks, but I still feel uncomfortable allowing this to happen. BTW- I essentially already told my adviser that I would move out, before thinking it through all the way... I am so confused about what to do.... Suggestions?? [/quote] Since your qualms aren't necessarily related to you losing your personal space, maybe your boss will be more apt to listen to the concerns you have for the baby's health and such. Maybe there is another solution that just hasn't been thought of yet? Edited October 11, 2010 by rhetoricfemme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Its your office or Egypt? Seriously?? That seems rather extreme!! Aren't you working on your PhD right now? I'm asking because I would think an office would be important for that. Are you getting a different office or are you booted to the commons? Or are they sending YOU to Egypt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 [quote name='jaime (the artist formerly known as hot stuff)' timestamp='1286836584' post='2179168'] Its your office or Egypt? Seriously?? That seems rather extreme!! Aren't you working on your PhD right now? I'm asking because I would think an office would be important for that. Are you getting a different office or are you booted to the commons? Or are they sending YOU to Egypt? [/quote] I have been offered my choice of many other acceptable rooms... and no, no one has up with any other ideas of what to do with the baby... sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 [quote name='rhetoricfemme' timestamp='1286836453' post='2179166'] Since your qualms aren't necessarily related to you losing your personal space, maybe your boss will be more apt to listen to the concerns you have for the baby's health and such. Maybe there is another solution that just hasn't been thought of yet? [/quote] I believe he is the type that would assume I was just looking for a way to get out of it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Ask around at church and find a little old lady who would be willing to babysit for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Yeah, I'm with Catherine. 'Official' childcare is expensive, but a network of volunteers to help you out is not. Being from Egypt, the mother probably doesn't have a lot of family local to help her, which is stressful and difficult when you have your first child. What she needs is an adoptive family to help her out. Though, with a newborn, child care is difficult. Unless the baby is on formula, it really does need to be with the mother all day. Is there any reason the post-doc can't use her own office? Taking the baby into the lab probably isn't healthy, but I'm not really seeing why your office is a dangerous place for the child to be if it was not a dangerous place for you to be. The main difference between babies and adults is the dosage at which something becomes hazardous. Still, there are likely [i]many[/i] buildings on campus [i]without[/i] labs in them, and a space in one of these buildings might be more appropriate for the child. Less convenient for the mother, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 I'm going to be the odd one out here, but I see no reason she can't bring the baby with her, and I think it's great that that is an option for her. I took Kieran with me when I worked and studied at the university. There was a lab close to the office, and there were various chemicals there, but I never took Kieran in there, so it wasn't a problem. I had to do a risk assessment thing before bringing him, but it wasn't a problem. Bringing him was the only way I was going to be able to work or study, because I don't bottle-feed (didn't express really when he was little; I do now, but not for my own kid - I'm a milk donor). So, if the risks have been identified and she can keep the baby away from those risks, then I see no problem with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 [quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1286838667' post='2179183'] I have been offered my choice of many other acceptable rooms... and no, no one has up with any other ideas of what to do with the baby... sigh [/quote] The choice of rooms offered to you, could [i]she [/i]use one of them? or must it be where you are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 It could work, at least for awhile. Aside from the occasional colicky baby, infants divide their time between eating/lying down/sleeping. They can't even sit up by themselves for like 8 months. Once they get mobile it gets stickier. I have seen many professionals bring baby to work during the first months. None of these have persevered past age 1 - it gets too difficult. I agree about accessing a volunteer network.Entire neighborhoods used to get by this way - people watching other's kids. Of course, that was a time when neighbors were free to correct and discipline other people's kids too ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 [quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1286890663' post='2179278'] The choice of rooms offered to you, could [i]she [/i]use one of them? or must it be where you are? [/quote] the issue is ... we have two buildings.... one is mainly lab space (the one she is in), and one is mainly office space (on the bottom floor, where I am). Her "office" right now is a desk space in an active lab... so that really is Not ok at all. I am the only student with my OWN office room in the better building. I will be moving into a room with other students, or to a desk in a lab. The baby does not have that option. I agree that she should be able to bring her baby to work! The issue is the risk assessment for the child's health... I do not think anyone plans to do one at all!!! Yes, the chemicals present in the building are fine for healthy adults, but the acceptable exposure levels plummet when you are talking about a newborn infant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1286895018' post='2179286'] It could work, at least for awhile. Aside from the occasional colicky baby, infants divide their time between eating/lying down/sleeping. They can't even sit up by themselves for like 8 months. Once they get mobile it gets stickier. I have seen many professionals bring baby to work during the first months. None of these have persevered past age 1 - it gets too difficult. [/quote] Yes, once they're mobile it's more difficult. I worked until Kieran was almost 6 months, so he wasn't really mobile at that point (rolling around, but not crawling). Charlotte's been sitting up for a while now (she's 6 months), and starting to crawl - every child is different. I've been known to wear one of the children so I could do things around the house, and wore Kieran some when I was working. It can work doing it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 I couldn't work with my baby in the same room with me. I tried. Not only was I sleep-deprived, but also he required attention on a regular basis. I found I was only able to achieve about half what I could have achieved without him as a distraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 How much call is there for studying Ents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted October 12, 2010 Author Share Posted October 12, 2010 [quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1286909542' post='2179326'] How much call is there for studying Ents? [/quote] There is a shortage of researchers; it gets very boring waiting for any Ents to agree to participate in any given study... Personally, I have found ways to bide the time... ...and so I believe I will be successful in this field Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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