Need Baptism Help Asap!

[StMichael]

Every Church in Fayetteville, NC is telling a friend that she can't get her infant baptized in the Catholic Church unless they have been practicing for 3 months at a particular Church.

Both parents are Catholic, married and her husband is a recent Vet.

Really need some advice here on how to assist them to have their child (infant, this is an infant) baptized into the Church. Their back up plan at this point is to go Lutheran or Methodist.

I will save my distain for those who are attempting to deny this child the gift of Faith.

[sixpence]

would it be terrible to go to mass for 3 months?

[HopefulBride]

Some parishes do have strict guidelines where the parent must be an active member either at the parish they are requesting or another parish before baptism can be performed. Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. They are after all taking responsibility to raise the child in the faith, what is wrong with wanting them to show that they can indeed dot hat by going to mass for 3 months? My uncle's parish asks for more time.

A friend was telling me the other day that her husband's friends threw a fit when the parish they asked to baptize their child said that they at least needed do the prep classes for parents (we have that in some parishes in the diocese) Well they got upset and went priest shopping. When they found out that it was the same throughout the differnt churches in town - and since they wanted their kid baptized catholic - they went back to the original priest and complied. In the end it is in the best interest of the child, it is for the same reason some priests ask a catholic marrying a non-catholic (in a catholic ceremony) to commit to raising the children in the faith; my fcatholic and her baptist husband had to commit to that before the priest agreed to marry them.




Edited to add the second paragraph

Edited September 28, 2010 by HopefulBride

[StMichael]

I cannot attest nor deny their frequency of attending Mass.

As it stands, baptism is an entry way into the Church. It appears as this join Sam's Club mentality is going to fail this child.

In NYC, it is with open arms that I have witnessed infants to be baptized in the RC faith.

Also, they were stationed at Ft. Bragg, not sure where they are now, but it does not appear they would have had enough time to belong to a civilian parish.

Seeking others to assist.

Thanks.

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1285704100' post='2176511']
would it be terrible to go to mass for 3 months?
[/quote]

[StMichael]

Marriage is between 2 adults.

And this is not about the adults but the infant. I agree they should be participating, but this is a recent war vet and I have no idea how long they have been away from the Fort.

I can't say I agree with punishing the child for the parents (that is why they have God Parents as well), so it appears unless I can provide an answer to them, this child will not be part of the Catholic faith.

[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1285704422' post='2176514']
Some parishes do have strict guidelines where the parent must be an active member either at the parish they are requesting or another parish before baptism can be performed. Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. They are after all taking responsibility to raise the child in the faith, what is wrong with wanting them to show that they can indeed dot hat by going to mass for 3 months? My uncle's parish asks for more time.

A friend was telling me the other day that her husband's friends threw a fit when the parish they asked to baptize their child said that they at least needed do the prep classes for parents (we have that in some parishes in the diocese) Well they got upset and went priest shopping. When they found out that it was the same throughout the differnt churches in town - and since they wanted their kid baptized catholic - they went back to the original priest and complied. In the end it is in the best interest of the child, it is for the same reason some priests ask a catholic marrying a non-catholic (in a catholic ceremony) to commit to raising the children in the faith; my fcatholic and her baptist husband had to commit to that before the priest agreed to marry them.




Edited to add the second paragraph
[/quote]

[Lil Red]

ask the Bishop if it is diocesan policy. if he's military, they've probably been moving around a lot and can't regularly commit to a parish. ask Icey (whose hubby is military) what she might suggest.

God bless.

[StMichael]

Trying to get as many particulars as I can. But couldn't help think that this goes against Jesus' own Words:

Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." - Matthew 19:14

I do not believe I will be able to assist them and starting out this child's life baptized into the Catholic faith.

[StMichael]

Apparently the father is in Afghanistan and they targeted a date when he will be back and then he is shipping back out after.

Unbelievable if they are being said no to under the circumstances.

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='StMichael' timestamp='1285705042' post='2176520']
Marriage is between 2 adults.

And this is not about the adults but the infant. I agree they should be participating, but this is a recent war vet and I have no idea how long they have been away from the Fort.

I can't say I agree with punishing the child for the parents (that is why they have God Parents as well), so it appears unless I can provide an answer to them, this child will not be part of the Catholic faith.


[/quote]

Again it depends on the parish, in my nephew's case, my brother who is also a vet had not been in town for about a year prior to the baby's birth and my sis-in-law was staying with family in texas while my brother was away, so the priest asked that at least one of the godparents have proof of confirmation and proof of being an active parishioner. It sounds to me this is the guideline of the parish or even the diocese they are trying to baptize the child in. Yes they can go to a Lutheran church but it defeats the purpose, the catholic church isn't about giving it to us our way when we want it, part of it is about learning obedience and trusting in our pastors and spiritual leaders.

Edited September 28, 2010 by HopefulBride

[CatherineM]

Our parish has turned away children that they fear will not be raised in the faith. There are good reasons for it.

In this situation though, I'd try the Catholic chaplain at the base. Keep in mind that Deacons are also allowed to baptize.

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='StMichael' timestamp='1285708075' post='2176535']
Apparently the father is in Afghanistan and they targeted a date when he will be back and then he is shipping back out after.

Unbelievable if they are being said no to under the circumstances.
[/quote]

What about the mother? some parishes do not require both parents to be active.

[StMichael]

She was active at Ft. Bragg, can't say how long they have been off the Fort.

They seem to be stuck in between as her husband is now in Afghanistan as a civilian contractor, not military as I had thought (he was military).

She is hoping to get a letter from their new parish, allowing the Ft. Bragg RC Church to baptize the child, but thus far no success.


[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1285708520' post='2176540']
What about the mother? some parishes do not require both parents to be active.
[/quote]

[Lilllabettt]

My mother baptized all of us secretly in the bathtub. She was a nervous sort. Then we had a regular church baptism in case the other one didn't take. My Mum is not a theologian.

Tell them to call the Bishop and ask for an exception. My mother took my brother, without an appointment, to St. Patrick's Cathedral for his "church" baptism. A seminarian who happened to be standing around was the godfather.

Of course, my mother is strongly willed. But if there's a good reason, I bet dollars to donuts the Bishop will make an exception. If all else fails there is the military archdiocese. They handle cases like this all the time.

[Maggyie]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1285714114' post='2176569']
My mother baptized all of us secretly in the bathtub. She was a nervous sort. Then we had a regular church baptism in case the other one didn't take. My Mum is not a theologian.

Tell them to call the Bishop and ask for an exception. My mother took my brother, without an appointment, to St. Patrick's Cathedral for his "church" baptism. A seminarian who happened to be standing around was the godfather.

Of course, my mother is strongly willed. But if there's a good reason, I bet dollars to donuts the Bishop will make an exception. If all else fails there is the military archdiocese. They handle cases like this all the time.
[/quote]

Lilla, mama is reading Phatmass over my shoulder and she says it wasn't a seminarian, just a random usher dude! Yay random usher dudes. And they weren't going to baptize him at all but my Dad mentioned that if Jesus was there, He would baptize him. That made the priest embarrassed and he agreed to do it. But yes I would say talk to the military archdiocese. They are the experts on this kind of situation. Maybe they could give her a letter or something.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Maggie

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1285705189' post='2176522']
ask the Bishop if it is diocesan policy. if he's military, they've probably been moving around a lot and can't regularly commit to a parish. ask Icey (whose hubby is military) what she might suggest.

God bless.
[/quote]

Where we are stationed the local parish wanted us to be registered parishioners for 6 months (X would have been over a year old by that point as we'd already put his Baptism off due to Ranger school and moving). My on post pastor at the time wanted us to go to a class, which they changed the date of and then "didn't know" when the next one would be held (thus putting Baptism on hold indefinitely). And he was terribly rude to me. We turned around and went back to Matt's home parish and got X Baptized there with family and friends in attendance.

I tried contacting the military archdiocese to get a dispensation from the class since we had already gone through all that (X is our 4th kid after all) but they never got back in touch with me.

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1285708432' post='2176539']
Our parish has turned away children that they fear will not be raised in the faith. There are good reasons for it.

In this situation though, I'd try the Catholic chaplain at the base. Keep in mind that Deacons are also allowed to baptize.
[/quote]

Yes.

My two cents, wait the three months. This is the pastor/parish's way of ensuring that the Baptismal promises are most likely to be kept. It's not punishing anyone, it's making sure the parents are actually practicing Catholics and not just having their baby Baptized because it's "what you're supposed to do." Had they arranged the Baptism while she was pregnant and gotten classes out of the way there never would have been any need for this situation in the first place. I am not speaking to judge their situation other than the fact that I have been in that exact scenario myself.