I Need Someone To Listen...

[rckllnknny]

i dont know y. but ive been so upset lately. ive been gettin angry more than anything. and its already hard enough learnin how to deal with it, instead of jes bustin someone in thier head or fleein responsibility. i dun even wanna be around anybody. i feel like i dont have control over my emotions i guess thas what happens when yer used to hidin em your whole life. but im scared. i feel like im jes gonna break down and cry. i really wish i could. but it takes so much to get me to that point. but most of all i dun unnastan y ive been gettin so mad lately.

...i think im lonely.

[cmotherofpirl]

hug and prayers.

[God Conquers]

Talk it up. We're here to listen, I think there's almost always someone online here who will chat with ya. Think of your daughter, talk to your family or friends, talk to God, and we will too for you!

[rachael]

we are here for you anytime...i'll pray for you

[Theoketos]

I am prayin for you right now.

[rckllnknny]

i dont even unnastan how u jes replied so quick. and i always feel selfish writin about my problems. but i am a big baby. i like poutin and gettin attention. i need it sometimes. i wish i was a baby again, but with someone that hugged me and cared about me and told me it was okay. im too old to feel like this. and this side by side song on this jukebox is jes wow crazy helpin me.

k im lonely. part of dealin with your emotions is recognizing where they come from and sometimes it takes awhile. but now i know thats what it is. las summer when me and amber broke up and went back home and my mom and dad kicked me out on the street and moved to minnesota. i went back to tha streets because of that. i made it out of there but i don have any frends anymore because i don know anyone thas sober. except people in meetings. and thier so mean. they make me mad. and i was with amber for four years and i left her. and no matter hhow much time i spend with lexus i miss him. the rest of my family dont even call or talk to me. the half way house it like gang land. im about the only person there thas not there because of probation or parole. and they make mad on person cuz they kow i aint gonna do nothin to em about itcuz i aint gonna risk gettin kicked out. i think i need my mommy. i think i needed her along time ago. im still that two year old my dad picked up and threw at a wall. i always will be. and in therapy at treatment it was alwys about me because it was jes me talkin about everything the whole time. i think im a bad person. i always did since before i knew how to talk. my mom would always slap me in my mouth fer no reason. especially when it was something i had no control over. and she said i was bastard. and she hated me. and i was bad. and i always thought i was bad. and in treatment the counselour said that thas what i needed was someone to show me i WAS a good person and fer someone to hug me and tell me to everything will be okay.and thats what it was. and sorry fer goin on and on and on. but someone i need to get everything out and i trust you guys. im lonely. thas soo sad. i had a family. a new family with lexus and amber. a chance start over what was ruined in my original family. and i sat there and watched myself ruin it. i ruined it. and i dint even want to. i watched myself make mistakes and ruin everything. im gettin it back. but i lost my family. and amber was soo good. goin to the university and workin and bein a mom. when i left her. she moved back home quit her job and dropped out of school. as fer bein a mom her and lexus sleep in together till 4 in the afternoon and he eats candy and does whatever he wants. hell be four next month and hes not even potty trained. she doesnt trust anyone more.

im still sober. im still doin everything im supposed to. but im mad. that jes turned to sad. and you guys im soo lonely. sorry fer ramblin and thanx fer listenin.

[God Conquers]

Stick with it man. Stay on track like you are. Call your folks maybe? Visit your son. The best thing you can do though is get your life straightened out, and then you can start helping everyone else. We're always ready to listen and pull for you.

[CreepyCrawler]

I know where you're coming from. It's so hard when you feel your parents don't love you. That's where you learn to love... or not love. You are on the right track and I admire you for staying out of trouble, that takes a lot of discipline. I think you're very courageous for sharing and for being willing to hurt for other people. That's a huge step because it's easy to just stop trying to love other people because you're scared you'll get hurt. But you can't receive love unless you let your guard down.
I will pray that God will bring people into your life so that you will know love and how to love others and that one day, your family (parents and gf and child) will be united. Don't lose hope, you will be happy one day and God is always watching over you. Even if you can't physically feel the hugs He's giving you, He's hugging you right now.

[willguy]

I ain't good with advice or anything, but I'm prayin for ya. I admire you, you have hope when most people would give up.

[ilovechrist]

yo man,
tough it out. you can ramble all you want--that's one of the goals of this phorum-we're all phamily. i'm prayin for ya, and i'm glad you haven't been giving up. it's not hard getting all your family back, but it can be done. start with prayer, and work up the courage to talk to your folks.

[Dave]

Rick, I'm sorry I'm just now responding, but I'm praying for you big time as usual. Actually, I've been getting angry easily and feeling lonely too. Let's both pray for each other. Love ya, bro.

[Paladin D]

Hang in there trooper, the Empire is full of people with problems like yours. I don't have much advice to give, I may disagree with my family when it comes to doctrine and such... but it isn't as bad as your situation.

I'll pray for you buddy.

[Fiat_Voluntas_Tua]

You are inspirational...trully.

"It is OK to struggle, it is when we stop struggling with our problems that we are in trouble." Don't give up...Look to the Way of the Cross. Christ fell three times...I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to get up each time. For me...when I am angry or mad, and don't know why...I take out my rosary and just hold it...I look at the Crucifix, and think about how Christ didn't have any anger for those who mocked him, for those who beat him, for those who crucified him. He loved everyone who hate him. I find peace in this...I find a way away from anger.

Also the Rosary is the Prayer for Peace. Pray it Daily, for Peace in your life.

I love you man...Hug and Prayers.

Pax et Agape per Maria, Andy
(Peace and Love through Mary.)

[ironmonk]

[quote name='rckllnknny' date='Apr 18 2004, 04:54 PM'] i dont know y. but ive been so upset lately. ive been gettin angry more than anything. and its already hard enough learnin how to deal with it, instead of jes bustin someone in thier head or fleein responsibility. i dun even wanna be around anybody. i feel like i dont have control over my emotions i guess thas what happens when yer used to hidin em your whole life. but im scared. i feel like im jes gonna break down and cry. i really wish i could. but it takes so much to get me to that point. but most of all i dun unnastan y ive been gettin so mad lately.

...i think im lonely. [/quote]
Hey bro,

Good to see you posting again. Haven't seen you in a while, and I was thinking about you the other day... I said a prayer for ya.

Sometimes things are hard... I understand. Things in life can get us all down.
We can know that all bad things will pass.

I have an anger problem from time to time... been dealing with it all my life. It comes and goes. It comes around less now. I'm almost 31. Something that has helped me from hurting people in the past and deal with the anger, was reading the bible... at least one chapter a day and think about what I read... chapters are small... sometimes I'd read a few... and I always prayed. Now, I've been able to just let the anger go... I know that whatever is making me mad will pass. I've been applying that teaching to everything in my life and I've been getting much happier. When I was 23 I felt like I was going nowhere. I felt alone. I had the mentality of just hanging out and try to do better each day. Sometimes I fell... then I'd have to pick myself back up... If I have only learned one thing then I've learned that people who do wrong things to us, must have had a bad life to turn out bad... feel sorry for them. They were not as strong as you in dealing with things going on.

God will help you bro... He wants you to have patience and rely on Him... and He'll give you what you need. Sometimes we don't know what we need... but God does.

When you are going through hard times... always remember, it's because you are tough enough to go through those hard times.

[b]Sirach 2:4[/b] Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
[b]5[/b] For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
[b]6 [/b]Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.


In the hard times, you are a worthy man being tested in the crucible bro. Build up your treasure in Heaven. Be a beacon of light for the others in the house.


God Bless,
max

[WCC_Catholic]

[quote name='rckllnknny' date='Apr 18 2004, 02:54 PM'] i dont know y. but ive been so upset lately. ive been gettin angry more than anything. and its already hard enough learnin how to deal with it, instead of jes bustin someone in thier head or fleein responsibility. i dun even wanna be around anybody. i feel like i dont have control over my emotions i guess thas what happens when yer used to hidin em your whole life. but im scared. i feel like im jes gonna break down and cry. i really wish i could. but it takes so much to get me to that point. but most of all i dun unnastan y ive been gettin so mad lately.

...i think im lonely. [/quote]
i feel ya lately i have been in a mood like i cry at the drop of a had and i feel so alone as well i just hope that my friends will realize it soon, because i am going crazy.

Sarah Marie