Strong Attraction

[TeresaBenedicta]

MM~

I think it's great that you're looking to discern married life and are preparing yourself to meet someone that God might have in mind for you. I just want to encourage you to take things slowly-- remember, it was just a few months ago that you were seriously discerning religious life. Now, that's not to say you're not called to marriage; I think you've had some very good spiritual insights in the past few months. So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is don't jump too quickly into a sort of "impatience" or "pushing" to find someone. Especially since right now you're in something of a stressful place in life. My advice is to just really focus on growing closer to Jesus and finding a job and finding stability. [i]Then[/i] look a little deeper for that "someone". I just don't want you to jump too quickly into this and I really want you to find that good stability that you so long for. Don't worry-- God will bring the right person in your life. Most likely at the moment when you least expect it.

I hope that this isn't taken the wrong way. I'm just trying to look after my sister in Christ. And please, [i]please[/i] take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1284956838' post='2174800']
MM~

I think it's great that you're looking to discern married life and are preparing yourself to meet someone that God might have in mind for you. I just want to encourage you to take things slowly-- remember, it was just a few months ago that you were seriously discerning religious life. Now, that's not to say you're not called to marriage; I think you've had some very good spiritual insights in the past few months. So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is don't jump too quickly into a sort of "impatience" or "pushing" to find someone. Especially since right now you're in something of a stressful place in life. My advice is to just really focus on growing closer to Jesus and finding a job and finding stability. [i]Then[/i] look a little deeper for that "someone". I just don't want you to jump too quickly into this and I really want you to find that good stability that you so long for. Don't worry-- God will bring the right person in your life. Most likely at the moment when you least expect it.

I hope that this isn't taken the wrong way. I'm just trying to look after my sister in Christ. And please, [i]please[/i] take what I have to say with a grain of salt.
[/quote]

Thank you. Yes, I understand that I need patience. Even with these "matches" I am not looking to pursue anything at this moment. I feel that it's ok to start looking and praying but I am not really ready to start dating right now. In fact, I'm kind of nervous about it because I've never really dated before. I've had a few dates here and there, but nothing serious so I have no knowledge of a real relationship. I'm hoping that when the time comes, I'll know and be ready. Right now, I'm mostly praying about it and proceeding slowly, as you said.

It's strange to me how all this has transpired in the past few months, but I believe I am about 99% certain I am not called to be a religious. I am still open to it should God call me to discern again, but I don't have that desire or longing anymore. I looked over my previous posts and I have felt this way since March. For a while, I just kept discerning because I thought it was temptations, but then realized I was not experiencing peace about my discernment at all. I was more anxious and stressed than anything else. Going on "Come and See" retreats was more of a challenge than a treat so I felt it best to move on to discerning a different vocation. I have felt calmer and more peaceful in the last 2 months since this decision, but I still have a long way to go.

Please pray for me to be patient about discernment in general. I know I have a tendency to rush things, so I'm trying to remain focused and steady about it and praying more than ever.

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1284958293' post='2174805']
I have felt calmer and more peaceful in the last 2 months since this decision, but I still have a long way to go.

Please pray for me to be patient about discernment in general. I know I have a tendency to rush things, so I'm trying to remain focused and steady about it and praying more than ever.
[/quote]


MM,

The peace is key, you should definitely continue to focus on that. It's amazing to find out how comforting the Lord's peace can be; especially if you have been restless.

When I started discerning religious life, I visited wonderful communities where I felt at "home" (I'm sure you remember the - it's where you feel at home speech/hint) well none of these homey places were it and I was in agony over it. I remember reading something that Bl. Mother teresa said about when you know you know. That used to frustrate me so much because every community I visited I thought I knew but yet I couldn't get rid of the anxiety or the restlessness. Until I visited the community I am discerning with now, I felt such a peace.... I knew right then and there I was where God wanted me to be. The gift of peace is something you don't realize its importance until you feel it. Especially looking back.

Continue to focus on that peace and let the Holy Spirit guide you; the Lord is giving you the peace about this decision for a reason. Perphaps it is your big neon sign that you are discerning the right path.

You're in my prayers,
HB

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1284980430' post='2174818']
MM,

The peace is key, you should definitely continue to focus on that. It's amazing to find out how comforting the Lord's peace can be; especially if you have been restless.

When I started discerning religious life, I visited wonderful communities where I felt at "home" (I'm sure you remember the - it's where you feel at home speech/hint) well none of these homey places were it and I was in agony over it. I remember reading something that Bl. Mother teresa said about when you know you know. That used to frustrate me so much because every community I visited I thought I knew but yet I couldn't get rid of the anxiety or the restlessness. Until I visited the community I am discerning with now, I felt such a peace.... I knew right then and there I was where God wanted me to be. The gift of peace is something you don't realize its importance until you feel it. Especially looking back.

Continue to focus on that peace and let the Holy Spirit guide you; the Lord is giving you the peace about this decision for a reason. Perphaps it is your big neon sign that you are discerning the right path.

You're in my prayers,
HB
[/quote]

Thanks, HB. I pray each day for the Lord's guidance in my discernment. For a while I thought I was just chickening out of religious life, but I prayed over it and went back to my reasons for quitting and I know it was right. To me, it wasn't worth the anxiety. If I had entered anywhere, I'm almost sure I would have left because I just didn't feel at peace in any convent I visited. And it wasn't simply because I wasn't called to that particular community. There was a feeling of "I don't belong here. This doesn't feel right at all. God is not calling me to this life."

I think it was a sign from above when I was turned away from every religious community I was interested in. God gives us obstacles for a good reason and I think I know why now. For a long time, I wasn't listening. I wasn't being obedient. I don't think He was disappointed in me because He knew I wanted to serve Him in a radical way, but it was not the life He chose for me. Some days, I am sad when I think I'll never be able to be a Sister, but I don't dwell on it for long at all. When I think about my future as a married woman with a Catholic family, I get a great big smile on my face and peace in my heart. That peace is important to me.

You are so right about Bl. Teresa of Calcutta. She was a very intelligent woman and I take heart to what she said. I'm glad you found your true home and I hope you are able to enter soon! God bless you.